Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘healing’

Virtues and Reasons for Life Challenges

The 27 Divine Virtues that Robert Schwartz talked about in his lecture, is to help us to determine what particular areas we are working on in this lifetime. Usually 3-5 seem to pop out as areas that are the most difficult for us to accept, believe in or practice. Going more deeply into the why we may have chosen particular virtues to work on, he has discovered 4 main reasons. They are explained in greater depth in his book, Your Soul’s Gift.

He first talks about KARMA. He defines karma differently. He feels it is not a ‘cosmic debt’ that we are trying to repay but rather as something our soul needs to experience to more fully understand the emotional lessons involved in fully learning the virtue. He further explains that karma can be for 1 of 2 reasons. Balancing or releasing. Balancing our karma is when we have purposely designed life lessons to help us experience all emotional sides or an issue for deeper understanding. The result then, is a 360 degree view of the virtue. You really, really get it at that point. Releasing, on the other hand, is achieved when we finally understand the underlying root cause of the imbalance and can release it. For instance, if a person looks at life as if the cup is half empty, scarcity or the fear of not having enough of something, may be at the root cause. FEAR of … (you fill in the word) is usually the cause of our imbalances in life. Once we truly internalize that anything (including fear) that we give emotional energy to, we are actually drawing more of it to us, we will stop. If you don’t want scarcity in your life stop dwelling on it. Think abundance and believe that there is more than enough in this Universe for everyone. Refuse to be crippled by fear of anything!

The second reason Schwartz feels that we may have planned certain challenges in our life is for HEALING. He explains that when we have unresolved negative energy from a previous lifetime (such as anger, guilt, blame, judgment of self and/or others) we may plan specific life issues to live through that involve these exact feelings so that we can heal ourselves from inside out and achieve greater understanding and peace.

Schwartz believes the third reason we may have chosen our life challenges is for SERVICE TO OTHERS. The phrase is self explanatory. We know that what we give, we receive and what we teach, we learn. He says that this area, service to others is an ‘accelerated path’ of spiritual growth. Remember the phrase, pay it forward? It applies here, for sure. When we remember that we are all part of God/Universal energy and when we help others we are also helping ourselves, the impact becomes that much greater.

He feels a fourth reason for our challenges on this earth is for CONTRAST. My understanding is that on earth we experience an intensity of emotional experiences. No kidding! We are in a classroom of nonstop learning! So our opportunity for growth (to become a better person) is greater. It makes me think of the fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson, The Princess and the Pea. Even under 20 mattresses she was able to feel the pea. Her physical/emotional awareness was so heightened from her experience as a princess. On earth, since our challenges are so vast and difficult, our own physical and emotional growth is heightened which allows us to develop a higher level of functioning and understanding.

Have you found anything from his work that seems to speak to you? I hope so.

STAY TUNED – ON MY NEXT BLOG ON WEDNESDAY, I WILL SHARE WITH YOU ABOUT MY BOOK. IT IS NOW AVAILABLE!

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Ben’s Bells and Hope for Tomorrow

Happy Easter!
Today is viewed by many as a day of renewed hope and belief in something bigger than ourselves. It seems fitting to give tribute to a project of hope that was started by a mother who tragically lost her young son, Ben, at age 2 on Good Friday, March 29, 2002. She began making small bells to hang as her own personal journey through healing. Since many people had been there to help her through the most difficult time in her life, she wanted to ‘pay it forward.’ She choose to help people heal their grief by giving them a visible reminder of hope and kindness. Ten years after her son’s death, this mother brought 1,000 bells to hang on trees, along walking and hiking trails and even in parking lots around the valley in Arizona. Twice a year they are also hung in the Tucson area with the accompanying note attached, instructing the person who finds them to take them home and simply spread kindness in the world. What started out as one mother’s emotional response to her loss has spread across Arizona and the world. Recently, a mother who had lost her daughter years and years ago and unable to move through the grief stage decided to take a walk and just happened to find one of Ben’s Bells with the note. She needed a sign, something, at that exact moment, that would help her begin the arduous process of moving on.

Those of us who have experienced loss – in any form – know that moving on takes a great deal of time. Sometimes, it feels like your heart will never heal or be the same as it was before your loss. I understand, I lost my son. When we are the recipient of a random act of kindness, such as the bells, it gives us an opportunity to realize that so many others have also suffered a loss in their life and have eventually found a way to move through it. It can give us the little needed push, at the precise moment, when we are most receptive, to help begin to heal our broken hearts. Ben’s Bells have given thousands of people added strength to face tomorrow through the sound and sight of a bell. They serve as a visible reminder to all of us to have hope and belief that our loved one’s life and death had a purpose. As my son has said, repeatedly throughout my book, “Mom, everything is as it should be.” Our loved ones did not disappear into the Cosmos. They are, in fact, around us and offer their unconditional love and even reconnection when we are ready. Something exists in our Universe that is all about love. Call it God/Universal Energy or whatever label you choose for the force greater than yourself, that it always with us, especially during our time of greatest need.

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All Forms of Loss Take Time to Heal

We have all had challenges or as I prefer to call them, “opportunities” in our lives that can change it forever. We never know from one day to the next when a phone call, email or person will reconnect with us and tell us something that seems to just rock our world. We question, we try to process and yet the answers seem to be out of reach. Recently, I talked with a dear friend that I thought had just a perfect marriage. Common interests, achievement level, values in life – even humor and appreciation for each other had been evident. Or so I thought. If you would have asked me to name a couple that seemed perfectly matched, I would have thought of them. When I heard that their marriage was in trouble, at first, I simply refused to believe it. Not them, not now, not ever. Yet, here I was on the phone listening to a wonderful person who was shocked, bewildered and maybe even a bit angry. Puzzlement flooded her thinking. “It came out of the blue,” she told me. As I thought about this conversation, I thought about how many other people (myself included) have experienced that same scenario in their lives. Naturally, our minds question the circumstances searching for a reason, an answer. Often, we feel we are left with more questions than answers.

I have noticed a pattern, however, that I think is worth mentioning. All of us are subject to life altering situations of one degree or another. No one seems to avoid them. It seems that when we reflect back a year or two after a loss, for example, one of the real lessons for us was how we responded to it. Did we allow it to redefine our life into one of just existing but not living? Or did we think to ourselves after the initial shock wore off, I don’t know how but I will get through this and my life will continue to have purpose. It may take time to heal my broken heart but it WILL HEAL.
Loss of any kind has so many emotions in common. Healing your heart takes time. Knowing you CAN heal it is essential to moving on. Having someone to talk to is important. You need to voice your hurt, anger and disbelief. A dear friend will help you do that without rushing in to offer solutions. Because, sad as it may sound, sometimes solutions cannot be immediate. You must work through the loss over time. It may also be helpful to remember that to let go is not meant to betray the past, but to have greater faith in the future.

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