Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Archive for November, 2015

Remember the Love

The events of the past weeks in Paris and Mali as well as the Russian plane that was shot down earlier this month have given us a wake up call – once again. It seems inconceivable that acts such as these can continue to happen. How any group can destroy innocent human lives in the name of their ‘religion’ is incomprehensible. Many of us remember 9/11, and the Boston Marathon tragedies and how those events changed our lives forever.

It is easy to let anger and fear take over our thinking. I understand the anger … we are justified in feeling it as long as we don’t let it consume us. Seeing our world leaders come together to defeat this human plague should give us renewed hope in the future. Regardless of the diverse political backgrounds of these leaders they have chosen to work together for a purpose bigger than themselves.

As they decide on the next steps to be taken there is a way we can help. We must eliminate or at least control any fear in our thinking. Fear can seep into every cell in our body and render us helpless. When we begin to worry about the possible ‘what if’s’… in anything we are considering we can become paralyzed by indecision. Fear is the silent killer of our hopes and dreams. As the Paris survivors left their venues singing their national anthem they demonstrated to the world that fear would not win. What a powerful gesture in the wake of such carnage.

Fear is a heavy dark energy that can consume us. These acts of terror are caused by individuals who are consumed with hatred. When we look at examples in history there is no question that their hatred will destroy them. As difficult as it is to understand, they have actually chosen this life path. We know that what they can’t literally destroy they want to figuratively destroy with fear. They want us to retreat to a life of less rather than more. We cannot be swayed by their vitriol. We know truth, we know the importance of love and the importance of living a life filled with the belief in the beauty of the human spirit.

Life changing events are meant to teach us something. They stop us in our tracks as we reevaluate what is important. We take stock and consider what we may be taking for granted. Just as we have seen with our world leaders tragedy has a way of recalibrating our thinking. There has been a critical need for countries to work together to help solve so many issues on our planet and maybe – just maybe – these terrible acts will be the stimulus that has been so desperately needed. Life is full of irony – let this be one of them.

We have a choice to be part of the solution in our own little corner of the world. We can each do our part by embracing life through more loving, considerate acts towards others. We can commit to going the extra mile for a fellow traveler. The energy level of our planet has taken a hit and any act of kindness directed toward another elevates that energy. We just need to remember that love builds, grows and celebrates life. Love conquers all. It is the Alpha and Omega of the Universe.

Have a loving and peaceful few days.

Celebrate Your Authentic Self!

Those who have lived a long life and learned a great deal in the process have an important message for us… ‘live a life true to yourself and not simply one that others expect you to live’ – in other words to be your authentic self.

At a Commencement address at Stanford University Steve Jobs reiterated this thought when he said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice… have the courage to follow your heart and intuition …they somehow already know what you truly want to become…”

A famous line from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet says, ‘To thine own self be true…’

So there we have it, a few quotes from hundreds of different sources spanning in time from the 1600’s to the present yet with the same idea – to live authentically by knowing our own values, preferences and abilities and being strong enough to be our genuine self during our life’s journey.

Some people are afraid of being authentic or truly known because they worry that if others really knew them they might reject them. That’s possible for any of us but not likely. Besides those people who make it a habit of rejecting others are basically unhappy, stressed, uninspired and just stuck in their own life. Others do not listen to them because they are simply too exhausting to be around. So think about that for a moment…do you really need to care about being accepted by everyone? Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that could happen if someone rejected you… could you survive it? My guess is – absolutely! Why not relieve yourself of the pressure of trying to be perfect and just be who you were designed to be – your beautiful and unique – one of a kind self!

The Universe provides us the opportunity to learn our chosen life lessons. Could it be that one of those lessons is to learn to be true to ourselves? If so, how are you doing with that? Is it time to remove your mask and breathe deeply into your own truth? I assure you that you’ll be glad you did. After all, the Universal Energy doesn’t make mistakes and you are exactly who you are supposed to be – and that’s a wonderful thing!

The title of Mike Robbin’s book says it all… ‘Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken.’

Have a great few days!

Being Confident Enough to Apologize

Have you ever said something that in retrospect you wish you hadn’t? As of today, If I had kept count in my life I would be in the millions of times that I have done so. We may be sorry, embarrassed and often even angry at ourselves after having a ‘slip of the tongue’ but the real issue becomes what we choose to do about it.

The power of a sincere apology cannot be overstated. It’s like making a deposit in your emotional bank account rather than a withdrawal. It really does mean something to the one receiving it when it is heartfelt. When you can look someone in the eye, or take the time to connect in some other way and really give an apology the attention that it deserves amazing things can happen. Personally, you stop playing the comments over and over in your head trying to justify them, you stop perseverating on the exact words used and that heavy, embarrassed, negative feeling leaves you. Most importantly, the person you are apologizing to feels like you care about them, that you’re human and that they can trust you to listen and not attack them or put them down in the future. You may not make a friend from an apology but one thing’s for sure… you won’t make an enemy.

Just think, all of this can happen when you put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving your ‘slip of the tongue’ and try to feel how it has affected them. The art of a sincere apology is only perfected when you are strong enough within yourself to admit that none of us are perfect, has all the answers or says the right things every moment of our lives.

I once knew a person who said that he ‘wouldn’t lower himself enough to apologize to a particular child’ that he had misjudged. I felt badly for the student but even worse for this man and told him so. What a sad way to go through life … thinking any human being – man, woman or child – is beneath you. With examples like this we can watch the Universe provide greater and greater opportunities to him to learn the lesson of humility until he gets it… apologies show strength NOT weakness!

So give yourself the benefit of using a well timed apology the next time you may be a bit too ——-(fill in the blank) with someone then pat yourself on the back and take pride in knowing that showing a bit of humility just makes you incredibly stronger!

Have a great few days!