Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Archive for April, 2016

A Life of Meaning

‘We are gathered here together to get through this thing called life.’ This line from the musical icon Prince says it all. We have chosen this time to learn our life lessons and celebrate along the way. Prince showed us the power in diversity, acceptance and love. His message of unity is perfectly juxtaposed in a world of discord and division. He stood for social justice and lending a hand to those in need. The timing of his death seems to serve as a signal to all of us…to think, do and love. 
Prince challenged us to feel something bigger, deeper within ourselves. You could feel the Universal light force in him. He did not allow himself to be bound by time, race, gender or profit. He was beyond, above all of that, and pushed us to celebrate the importance and magic of life.
What causes a performer to be able to reach audiences spanning from their 20’s to their 80’s – beyond genres and generations? Simply, the universal values of truth, caring, acceptance and love – the ultimate wins in life. His songs, a true inspiration in themselves, were paired with a quiet philanthropy that only a few of his closest friends were even aware of – ‘just quietly do from your heart’ could have been his tag line. 
His spiritualism was evident from his famous 3 lens sun glasses (the middle lens designed to emphasize his third eye – the eye of enlightenment and higher consciousness) to the famous lyric, ‘I never wanted to cause you no trouble, no pain, only wanted to see you laughing in the Purple Rain.’ When we think of the words in that hit song we can imagine the rain as a cleansing element. When paired with the color purple which represents imagination, strength and integrity it signifies the union of body and soul in spiritual fulfillment. Faith in something bigger than himself gave him the personal power to carry on and on and on to produce 39 albums in 35 years – an unheard of accomplishment. 
Prince literally had his name taken from him (at birth he was named Prince Rogers Nelson by his mother) early in his life as both his music and name were hijacked by the music industry – all in the name of profit. He was also challenged by personal choices of escape. Yet through it all he continued to work to show us that no matter how grim things appear, we must never give up seeking truth to become a better person. 
The mark he made on our world was evident. Last night the entire New Orleans Super Dome was awash in purple light, the streets closing in Brooklyn so people could dance to his music and the emotional tributes offered by so many including the President. Kind just takes your breath away.
It’s not just his music but his message of inclusion, acceptance and celebration of the life force within us that will help us survive, thrive and evolve as we face tomorrow.
I visualize Jimmie Hendrix, Michael Jackson and David Bowie, among others, extending their hands to him as he passed on and with a nod and smile simply saying, ‘Welcome home brother, thank you for a life well-lived.’
Have a meaningful few days.

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Why Don’t They Stop?

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” This quote from Sigmund Freud says it all when we see people who seem to say or do things that are counter productive to their own growth and happiness. We may wonder why they can’t see that what they are doing is harmful and just stop doing it. We may even judge them to be ungrateful, selfish or weak. The operative word here is ‘judge.’
When we fall into the trap of judging others everyone looses. But when we really try to learn more to understand what is truly happening to someone we know and love an entirely different world opens up to us. Hopefully, it causes us to feel more deeply as our empathy begins to kick in. With knowledge we become more proactive rather than reactive.
Compassion causes us to ‘see the me in you.’ We may at first feel sympathy for someone when we see their suffering but we can only feel empathy when we try to understand and relate by putting ourselves in their shoes. You may be wondering how it’s possible to do this – good question!
By taking the time to observe, listen, read and involve ourselves – even from afar- to really understand what another person is going through it causes us to become more thoughtful, wise and caring human beings. Rather than dismiss a particular behavior as bad or unproductive we push ourselves to try to figure out the ‘why’ behind it.
Maia Szalavitz, author of the recently published book “Unbroken Brain” takes us on a journey that helps us understand the why in addiction and explains the brain changes that take place. We learn that primarily psychological needs rather than just physical desire truly drive addiction but can be changed with learning. She explains why the majority of rehab programs simply don’t work yet gently guides us with first hand knowledge to find those approaches that do work to heal and move forward. 
The topic of addiction is actually more common then we might first believe. Whether we are talking about drinking, using drugs (both legal and illegal) gambling, eating, shopping even cleaning the evidence of addiction is all around us. Some folks with addictions are able to harness their overactive brains and manage their lives. But for many others who have as Freud points out deep seated unexpressed emotions of early trauma they need more time, help and understanding. Approaches that help them see their value rather than their deficits are crucial to overcoming their need for an emotionally escape. It’s obvious from reading her book that Szalavitz has experienced the world of addiction and has devoted her life to helping us understand more deeply and therefore put our tendency of discounting or judging to rest.
When we run across someone who can explain, inspire an educate us so that we become more caring, thoughtful human beings it’s important to pass it on – pay it forward. One thing’s for sure, if you take the time to read this book you will never be the same again. You will never again think to yourself ‘why don’t they just…’ because you’ll be better than that.
Please pass this blog on to anyone you know that might benefit from it. Let’s commit to helping each other on our life journey as we remember ‘A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.’
Have a great few days!

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General

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Why Don’t They Stop?

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” This quote from Sigmund Freud says it all when we see people who seem to say or do things that are counter productive to their own growth and happiness. We may wonder why they can’t see that what they are doing is harmful and just stop doing it. We may even judge them to be ungrateful, selfish or weak. The operative word here is ‘judge.’
When we fall into the trap of judging others everyone looses. But when we really try to learn more to understand what is truly happening to someone we know and love an entirely different world opens up to us. Hopefully, it causes us to feel more deeply as our empathy begins to kick in. With knowledge we become more proactive rather than reactive.

Compassion causes us to ‘see the me in you.’ We may at first feel sympathy for someone when we see their suffering but we can only feel empathy when we try to understand and relate by putting ourselves in their shoes. You may be wondering how it’s possible to do this – good question!
By taking the time to observe, listen, read and involve ourselves – even from afar- to really understand what another person is going through it causes us to become more thoughtful, wise and caring human beings. Rather than dismiss a particular behavior as bad or unproductive we push ourselves to try to figure out the ‘why’ behind it.
Maia Szalavitz, author of the recently published book “Unbroken Brain” takes us on a journey that helps us understand the why in addiction and explains the brain changes that take place. We learn that primarily psychological needs rather than just physical desire truly drive addiction but can be changed with learning. She explains why the majority of rehab programs simply don’t work yet gently guides us with first hand knowledge to find those approaches that do work to heal and move forward. 
The topic of addiction is actually more common then we might first believe. Whether we are talking about drinking, using drugs (both legal and illegal) gambling, eating, shopping even cleaning the evidence of addiction is all around us. Some folks with addictions are able to harness their overactive brains and manage their lives. But for many others who have as Freud points out deep seated unexpressed emotions of early trauma they need more time, help and understanding. Approaches that help them see their value rather than their deficits are crucial to overcoming their need for an emotionally escape. It’s obvious from reading her book that Szalavitz has experienced the world of addiction and has devoted her life to helping us understand more deeply and therefore put our tendency of discounting or judging to rest.
When we run across someone who can explain, inspire an educate us so that we become more caring, thoughtful human beings it’s important to pass it on – pay it forward. One thing’s for sure, if you take the time to read this book you will never be the same again. You will never again think to yourself ‘why don’t they just…’ because you’ll be better than that.
Please pass this blog on to anyone you know that might benefit from it. Let’s commit to helping each other on our life journey as we remember ‘A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.’
Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Ready for Positive News?

Often with the 24/7 news cycle we can become dishearten or overwhelmed about so many things that it becomes exhausting. It’s healthy to have a dose of positive news and I have one today! Following up on my blog from last week regarding the extensive use of GMO’s in our foods, it’s time to pat a company on the back for the healthy change they made…without our even knowing it!

Remember the unmistakable taste of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? I’ll bet you can close your eyes and bring back the taste, smell even texture. This product has been a staple for a long, long time in so many American homes. You never had to worry if your kids would eat it…it was a favorite.

The remarkable thing about this story is that over time as the company received concerns from consumers about the artificial favors, preservatives and dyes used in their Mac & Cheese the company listened! Seriously! They quietly responded and changed their recipe in December, 2015 eliminating the ‘artificials’ by substituting them with other healthy spices to make sure this product would taste the same. Using the familiar packaging, they conducted the largest taste tests in history which ended on March 7, 2016. The results are in…they did it! A much healthier choice of ingredients are used in the recipe while still maintaining the same great taste. Congrats to them!!!

If we can change something as popular and long lasting as Mac & Cheese it seems to me that we have hit pay dirt. What this tells us is that as people we can effect change when we truly set our minds to it. It may not be overnight but as my mother used to say, ‘truth always prevails in the end.’ It also shows us that some companies really do listen and care. It puts an image of humanity – rather than mere profit – back into our image of mass corporate culture.

It is reassuring to know that weather we are talking about the food we eat, the politicians we listen to or even the issue of safety in our world…truth will prevail! It gives us hope when we see examples of people, companies even countries trying to make things better rather than simply ignoring us or pointing fingers at ‘the other guy.’ It boils down to caring, responsibility and truth. The Kraft company has raised the bar and little by little others will follow – or be left behind. They must be proud of the positive impact they are having on generations of folks.

With that being said, I think I’ll go fix a box… just talking about it makes me hungry!

Have a great few days!

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What are you eating?

When was the last time you could actually smell a tomato in the produce section of your grocery store? Or the last time you ate an egg and it actually tasted like one? How about the last time you were able to truly smell a rose – years, decades? Last summer I blogged about GMO’s (genetically modified organisms) after biking along miles and miles of corn fields in the Midwest that looked absolutely perfect. Every stalk was the same height, fullness, ripeness – you get the picture. Something just felt off. How can this be I wondered? Ahh… there it was a sign indicating these fields were the result of GMO products. More information was necessary.

From 1999 to 2010 farmland in the Midwest lost 80% of its milkweed due to heavy use of the herbicide glyphosate due to widespread planting of GMO crops engineered to resist it. Since milkweed is the food for butterflies there was a significant decline in the Monarch butterfly population. But it’s only butterflies you might be thinking…

Genetically modified organisms are living organisms whose genetic material (DNA) has been artificially modified or manipulated in a laboratory through genetic engineering. This is not simply a black or white issue… there are shades of gray involved.

In Europe, the U.S. and other countries many people are convinced that GMO’s are bad for the world and pose unknown dangers to human health. On the other hand, proponents say that the use of GMO’s are needed to respond to overpopulation and climate change. There are GMO’s that have caused large reductions in the use of pesticides – a good thing – as well as GMO’s that have made herbicides skyrocket – a bad thing. So what’s the answer?

Actually some foods containing GMO’s have been in our grocery stores since the early 1990’s we just have not been aware of it. As with everything in life awareness is key. But awareness often comes at a cost. In 2012 a bill (Proposition 37) in California was defeated 51% to 49% after 46 million dollars was spent by opponents to labeling GMO products. Monsanto, DuPont, PepsiCo, Kraft Foods and other industry giants did not want to label their products. Whether it is corn, soybeans or the famous (or infamous) GM engineered Atlantic salmon that contains a growth hormone gene from the Chinook salmon and DNA from the eel-like ocean pout fish that hastens the growth cycle to 1 1/2 years rather than the standard 3 years cycle, effects are evident. Whole Foods and Costco has announced that they will not sell the GM salmon. One has to ask the question – why, why are the industry giants so afraid of allowing us to know what we are eating. Why is labeling such a threat to them? Could it simply boil down to the almighty dollar?

Crops that are bigger, matured faster, and appear to be more perfect specimens seem to be the result of GMO use. As one would guess overall profit is up with these products. But does this make GMO use bad. That’s a complex question that has varied answers. All I know is that when you travel to countries that believe in fresh, farm raised food – without all the bells and whistles that GMO offers – the food tastes different – not just a little bit but a whole lot!

At a minimum we should be aware through labeling if products have been GMO engineered so we can make our own decisions. Congratulations is due to the state of Vermont. As of July, 2016 they will be the first state in the U.S. to achieve through legislation accurate labeling. Any food sold in their state must be labeled if it contains genetically modified ingredients giving consumers the right to know and choose what goes into their bodies.

Maybe the other 49 states will find the courage to stand up to the mega companies and demand the same. One has to question – if there is nothing wrong with GMO’s why the tremendous time and money devoted to hiding the information by refusing to label?

Have a great few days!

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