Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘caring for others’

Being Confident Enough to Apologize

Have you ever said something that in retrospect you wish you hadn’t? As of today, If I had kept count in my life I would be in the millions of times that I have done so. We may be sorry, embarrassed and often even angry at ourselves after having a ‘slip of the tongue’ but the real issue becomes what we choose to do about it.

The power of a sincere apology cannot be overstated. It’s like making a deposit in your emotional bank account rather than a withdrawal. It really does mean something to the one receiving it when it is heartfelt. When you can look someone in the eye, or take the time to connect in some other way and really give an apology the attention that it deserves amazing things can happen. Personally, you stop playing the comments over and over in your head trying to justify them, you stop perseverating on the exact words used and that heavy, embarrassed, negative feeling leaves you. Most importantly, the person you are apologizing to feels like you care about them, that you’re human and that they can trust you to listen and not attack them or put them down in the future. You may not make a friend from an apology but one thing’s for sure… you won’t make an enemy.

Just think, all of this can happen when you put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving your ‘slip of the tongue’ and try to feel how it has affected them. The art of a sincere apology is only perfected when you are strong enough within yourself to admit that none of us are perfect, has all the answers or says the right things every moment of our lives.

I once knew a person who said that he ‘wouldn’t lower himself enough to apologize to a particular child’ that he had misjudged. I felt badly for the student but even worse for this man and told him so. What a sad way to go through life … thinking any human being – man, woman or child – is beneath you. With examples like this we can watch the Universe provide greater and greater opportunities to him to learn the lesson of humility until he gets it… apologies show strength NOT weakness!

So give yourself the benefit of using a well timed apology the next time you may be a bit too ——-(fill in the blank) with someone then pat yourself on the back and take pride in knowing that showing a bit of humility just makes you incredibly stronger!

Have a great few days!

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The Energy of Human Touch

As I wrote in my book, ‘Just Behind The Door,’ energy cannot be created nor destroyed only changed in form. Understanding this concept is one thing but actually seeing or feeling it in action is another. When we walk into a room we can feel if others are welcoming us into their space. Beyond body language there is just this feeling that we get that tells us how other people are responding to our energy. It may be hard to fully explain and can’t actually be seen by the naked eye but without question we just know it – we can feel it in every cell of our bodies. Isn’t that amazing!

When we study energy and learn more about how energy can actually be enhanced through approaches such as Reiki it’s a humbling experience. Reiki practitioners are taught how to actually feel the energy of others with their hands and redirect it to help a person dislodge their own blocked energy. Reiki teaches us how to connect with the Universal Energy source and be a conduit to help others. It also allows the practitioners to attain a better energy flow in their own life as they consciously tap into the ever present energy that surrounds them.

Human touch truly is magical. It can help dry a child’s tears or let a loved one know we are there to help them when the going gets rough. When we take the time to hug someone or pat their arm to comfort them it is not merely a loving gesture. We are actually giving them energy often without realizing it. Yet, if we look closely we can see their eyes brighten as they begin to relax and breathe more deeply. Their shoulders relax and we can see the difference created from this infusion of energy. When we visit someone who is in need our presence is actually a gift of energy, carefully wrapped within the loving arms of kindness. From time to time we may hear people say they are hesitant to visit someone who has recently experienced a loss in their life because they don’t know what to say – yet in reality few words need to be exchanged because it is the energy exchange in the personal connection that is so valuable to a fellow traveler. At times it can be their life line.

We can see the beauty of this energy exchange especially with Hospice patients. As their own energy begins to fade over the course of their illness they begin to eagerly wait for their next Hospice visit. They just seem to intuitively know that they will receive the energy they need to face another day. We can’t extend their life but we can make the days that they have left just a little bit better by our presence.

Take a moment to observe the vital importance of human contact in all walks of your life and you will arrive at a deeper awareness that it is really the exchange of energy that is at the heart of the matter. It makes all the difference.

Have a great few days!

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