Just Behind the Door

The Australian people are an interesting culture. On a recent visit I was taken aback by what I thought, at first, was lack of customer service. Observing them in greater depth, however, I discovered a valuable perspective on life. They seem to have developed an attitude of acceptance of things rarely seen in the United States. For instance, if something is just not quite right or you need something in a store or on the public transit system, their typical response is ‘no problem, no worry, no drama.’ They actually verbalize these words! They seem to get things done without exhibiting any nervousness or tension. It is really quite amazing and must surely be better for overall health.

When we analyze why certain cultures or people seem to have more worry, problems and drama in their life could it be that the person is really saying that life isn’t fair and demanding through their behavior that someone or something be different? Could it be that they actually believe that only they have all the right answers? That thought is kind of scary isn’t it? Actually, the drama is a form of manipulation for control or attention. It is the ‘poor me’ syndrome at heart. Unfortunately, if the person continues to exhibit this behavior and it becomes a habit, over time, they spiral downward. Their glass is then perpetually half empty rather than hall full. The drama of ‘poor me’ has become their lifestyle and worldview. No matter how great something is they can quickly find the ‘yes, but….’ in it. Ultimately, they become too exhausting to be around because our energy is sapped by simply trying to keep a more positive attitude in life.

Our methods of coping in life are formed when we are very young and the filters we create from our early experiences simply become a part of who we are at the core. It takes courage to point out to someone you care about when they are exhibiting the ‘poor me drama’ but if they are receptive and it is done with love you may be able to help them see that their behavior not only turns others off it takes the enthusiasm out of their own life as well. Once the habit is recognized and owned by the individual they can choose to replace it with a healthier response pattern- the challenge is, of course, that they have to see and accept that what they are doing is no longer working.

Once we accept that we alone are responsible for our feelings and behavior for everything that happens to us in life the element of drama is neutralized. There is no one to blame for our emotional state. We have chosen our life – the challenges and the opportunities – for the lessons. The length of time it takes to learn the lessons is completely up to us.

Adapting some of the Australian attitude of no worry, no problem, no drama may just be the best thing we could do for ourselves.

Have a great few days!