Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Developing greater resiliency in life is important not only for survival but for a happier, more joyful existence. We may wonder what causes some people to be more confident and unflappable. Have they simply led a charmed life free of pain, sorrow or loss? Probably not. Remember, everyone has their story to tell.

It may appear that their lives seem easier than ours – less traumatic – less burdensome. It is possible that they have had a series of remote misses in their life that did not directly affect them. I have not met many of these types but they do exist and are rare birds indeed. We, on the other hand, may have experienced direct hits or near misses altering our speed and trajectory momentarily. Gladwell talks about near misses and remote misses in his book, ‘David and Goliath.’ He says a near miss leaves you traumatized and a series of remote misses leaves you feeling somewhat invincible.

Another possibility is that these ‘unflappable types’ often remind themselves that 99% of what most people worry about never comes to pass. They may seem to just know, deep down, that everything in life happens for a purpose and that they will survive. They feel confident that will get through the present life altering experience possibly battered and bloodied in the process but otherwise in tact. These folks make it a practice to reflect on their past experiences and challenges to search for the lessons they have learned. As a result they have developed greater confidence and resiliency in handling their tomorrows. You can practically see their three point badge of courage, tenacity and resiliency handed to them from The Universe.

With badge in hand they look to the future not with trepidation but hope for an even better tomorrow. Feeling hopeful and confident does not eliminate the future challenges but allows them an invisible shield of protective armor as they move forward. As each new challenge presents itself in their life, they manage to get through it, reflect on what they have learned and in the process become stronger.

As Gladwell says, ‘We are prone to be afraid of being afraid and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration.’ The next time you are faced with a major life challenge and are unsure of your strength to endure, just remember, this too shall pass and you will be more resilient having lived through it. You will never be the same but will be wiser as you move forward on your life journey. Although we don’t applaud them, adversity and experience are great teachers.

Reflecting on your life you will probably remember at least five major life altering experiences and yet here you are reading this blog. That means you made it through, you survived and you are more resilient than ever! Congratulations!

Have a great few days!

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