Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘perseveration’

Develop a Plan!

Neuroscientists are discovering incredible things about our brains. For instance, did you know that you can’t focus on both a positive and negative experience or memory at the same time? Find that hard to believe? Just try it…our brains simply will not let us hold two opposite or opposing thoughts or feelings at the same time. It forces us to choose. Maybe that’s a good thing because as humans our brains prefer to imprint a negative memory more so than a positive one. Why would this be?

It’s really more logical than we might think. According to Dr. Mark Waldman and other neuroscientists it’s a protective maneuver from our cave/hunting/gathering experiences. Our brains protect us from future threats by storing negative memories which may help us react faster if a new threat approaches than if we allowed ourselves the time to think about something using our conscious mind before reacting. So it’s really a survival technique.

However, we can actually cause our brains to release harmful stress neurochemicals when we continue to perseverate on negative issues. When we think about the negative issues in our lives the brain records them as happening over and over again each time we think about them. That’s why when we ruminate on the possibility of something bad happening we feel more and more exhausted, depressed or out of control. We can fall into the trap of feeling both hopeless and helpless as we spiral downward.

So what’s to be done? Developing a plan to address the issue is essential. Why? We feel more in control when we develop steps to address the concern – a plan gives our brains something to think about rather than allowing it to rehash the problems over and over. We begin to feel hopeful rather than hopeless.

What if the problem is so big and involves someone else who refuses to address it? When we love someone we want to help them and continuing to talk about the need to create a plan may not be heard the first or even the tenth time. Don’t be discouraged or give up. For some they may need to hear the message 30 times or more but little by little you can help them realize that things in life can change for the better – and it takes a plan of action – a belief that success is possible. Just remember the old adage…’inch by inch it’s a cinch’ regardless of the length of the journey it can only be accomplished step by step.

When we develop a plan we change our attitude and our energy. We become proactive rather than reactive as we tap into a reserve of strength from the Universe.

The famous British leader, Winston Churchill said in 1941, “This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” The enemy comes in many forms but you are more powerful!

Develop and plan and Do It!

Stop Worrying!

Have you ever met someone who seems to have nothing but good luck or conversely nothing but bad luck? We may wonder to ourselves, ‘how do things continually happen that way to them?’ The truth is that these folks simply expect things to happen in a certain way and sure enough they do. Think of the difference between an optimist and a pessimist. One sees the cup as half-full and the other half-empty. Same amount just different perspectives. Their energy is either increased or decreased by the feelings and perceptions that they are allowing themselves to generate.

To become happier in life it takes a bit of work, a bit of focus and a belief that you deserve to be happy. Let’s start with your belief. Do you feel you have the right to be happy? We are all here to learn lessons but nowhere is it written that our lessons need to crush us or stop us in our tracks. When a challenge presents itself we can either perseverate on it and cause it to become bigger and more pervasive with thoughts such as ‘This always happens to me’ or we can recognize it for what it is … a MOMENTARY setback and decide on a course of action. When we are actively working on solving an issue the weight of our emotional baggage becomes lighter. We are being proactive rather than reactive. Making a list can help. It slows down our thinking and helps us gain control of our overactive emotions and imagination.

Recognizing that challenges happen to everyone and that we have not been personally set up by a force bigger than ourselves to be the fall guy for anything and everything in life helps to keep things in perspective. It’s NOT PERSONAL. You do not have an inherent flaw that causes negative issues to surface in your life. The only personal part is the time you choose to spend either worrying about it or developing a plan to address it. The more you worry the greater the challenge becomes due to the negative energy you are drawing to you. Worry doesn’t work but a plan does – is it time to write one?

We get out of life what we consciously and subconsciously expect – nothing more and nothing less. The energy in a simple thought reverberates out to the Universe like a magnet which then attracts more of the same back to us. Change our thinking and we change our life.

We have the power to create the world we want and it starts with our thoughts, words and actions. Happy people were not simply born that way they just learned early on that when confronted with a challenge address it and move on – no worry, no drama just action.

Have a great few days!