Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Abandonment or Belief?

In the last couple of days I received emails on the topic of abandonment and loss. The definition of the word abandonment is deserted. Let’s think about that for a moment. If you have lost someone through death or divorce, it is natural to feel sad and lonely. Being alone or apart from someone has both an emotional and physical hurt to it. Feeling abandon or deserted – may be natural if someone willing left you. As you live through the next year (and you will) you will gain a sense of empowerment simply from surviving. Remember the saying, another year older and another year wiser? Eventually, you may come to see that the person who left chose that path for lessons both of you had yet to learn. We are placed in the lives of others for many reasons. When the lessons are learned a new chapter begins. Some are fortunate to be able to have the love of that special someone during every chapter of their entire life. Not everyone is that fortunate and has that success.

When someone dies, however, if the feeling of being abandon or deserted continues for a long time it implies, to me, that you may still feel angry or feel that somehow it was in their control or power NOT to leave. My spiritual teaching tells me that, “to everything there is a season.” They did not willingly desert you but simply had to leave. It was their exit point. My teaching also also tells me that they may be gone physically but their loving energy is still around you. They want to reconnect! They are trying very hard to get our attention. It reminds me of someone who is continually trying to place a call to us, and for some reason, they can’t get us to answer the phone! How frustrating it must be for our loved ones on the other side. Due to our own anger, fear or depression, the wall we have placed around our heads and hearts stops the signals from coming through! Emotional walls are developed from fear and create a barrier to living. We may think those walls protect us. In reality, they simply serve to keep us locked into grief. There is no blue ribbon or best in show award given for spending the rest of your life in grief. Quite the opposite. What are you doing to move forward after your loss?

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