Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

A dear friend called to talk about the blog from Wednesday. She said, “I can accept what you are saying in the blog … all, that is, but the last statement, All is as it should be.” She went on to explain that we may have free will but the lack of ownership by others for their life and their lessons have a compounding effect on those of us close to them. I agreed, but once again repeated, what do YOU need to learn from these situations involving others. She made a great point. I know what I mean when I repeat the statement, “All is as it should be,” and those of you who have read my book, Just Behind the Door, understand that this has been THE ongoing statement that my son, from the other side, has communicated for over a decade. It makes so much sense to me but I have lived through this communication with Ronnie for so long that it is natural. So to be clearer about the intent in the phrase let me explain.

I believe each of us agrees, pre-birth, on the lessons we will work on in this lifetime. The themes are numerous, but to list just a few: emotional independence, overcoming feelings of powerlessness or unworthiness, overcoming our fears, forgiveness, gratitude, unconditional love, the list goes on and on. We agree to experience situations in our life that will help us learn the lessons we have chosen to learn. The challenges that are presented in learning these lessons can take us to the brink of denial, anger, rebellion, withdrawal even total helplessness until we finally get it, recognize it and learn from it. Remember no one but YOU agreed to work on the lessons that you are dealing with in your life. It is, as if, first God/Universal Energy whispers, (this is the first time the lesson is presented) then speaks ( a similar, more dramatic experience presented a second time) then shouts with an even more difficult, challenging situation the third (or more) time the lesson surfaces. The experiences just keep adding up, causing us tremendous hurt and challenge until, one day, we GET IT. There is no one to blame, no one to rail at because we chose to work on the particular lesson(s) until we internalize the learning.

I have experienced the death of two husbands, my son, two sisters, mother, father and close friends. In addition, I have experienced divorce – more than once. For each experience, I railed at the Universe. Why me? What have I done wrong? I demanded that the situation be different. I felt I should be able to fix it, if I just tried hard enough. Gradually, as I learned more, an “aha” happened. Now, I realize that my life is about accepting that I cannot control everything, to have greater faith in God/Universal Energy and, along the way, to learn to love myself. I guess I was a remedial learner who needed to experience many losses to finally get it!

So, when I say, “All is as it should be,” it is. When we look back – hindsight is always 20/20 – we have a greater awareness, if not acceptance, as to the why.

What lesson are you working on?

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