Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘pre-birth agreements’

Success Is Change!

Success in our lives can be defined by asking three questions. What is truly important to us – what makes our blood pump a little faster? What do we find most difficult to handle (the things that make us anxious or our stomachs churn)? And what do we hold sacred in our hearts – the most important things without which we would not want to be here? These are big questions to think about and even bigger to answer. The closer you can get to the truth of who you really are and what you want your life to stand for the closer you are to achieving your own true success. That is all the Universe asks of us, to be true to ourselves and our prebirth agreement.

As we start the new year, I have found it helpful to reflect on these questions and honestly determine accomplishments, lessons learned and even more importantly, lessons yet to be learned. Doing so is both exciting and humbling. It seems like there is never a shortage of lessons. Ultimately, it all boils down to working on the personal challenges involved in accepting the changes we are faced with in life.

When we look at the challenge of the ultimate change in our life involving loss, there was something we needed to learn from it. As hard as the loss was it enabled us to learn important lessons. It may seem impossible, at first, to reach a deeper understanding. It is there, I promise you, just be brave and continue to search. What do you now place greater value on since experiencing the loss?

Loss comes in many forms. A death, of course, is the biggest challenge, the real show stopper. However, any change we experience in life brings, at first, a feeling of loss. My last blog was on the steps we go through when we experience change and loss. You might want to go back to the archive section on this website and review those steps, maybe even print them.

As part of the human race we are much more alike than different in our human emotions. We all experience insecurity, denial, anger, fear, acceptance and love. That’s why these steps are so predictable, the length of time we spend in each step is the human variable. We can find reassurance in knowing the emotions we experience are normal. When we are immersed in tears, we are not ‘losing it,’ but expressing our honest feelings involved in the loss – the change in our lives. Since nothing remains the same for long, being aware of these steps and being able to emotionally apply them gives us greater confidence and security in facing tomorrow.

Soul searching is not for the faint of heart but as Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “The truth will set you free.” It is good to take stock of what you have accomplished this year and what you still find most difficult to handle, what gives you pause. Once you decide to work on those feelings and situations you will be able to master them. Mastery brings a feeling of greater confidence and peace. Next year when you take stock of your life you will smile and think to yourself, ‘worked on that one and getter better every day!’

Have a great few days!

All IS AS IT SHOULD BE – REALLY?

A dear friend called to talk about the blog from Wednesday. She said, “I can accept what you are saying in the blog … all, that is, but the last statement, All is as it should be.” She went on to explain that we may have free will but the lack of ownership by others for their life and their lessons have a compounding effect on those of us close to them. I agreed, but once again repeated, what do YOU need to learn from these situations involving others. She made a great point. I know what I mean when I repeat the statement, “All is as it should be,” and those of you who have read my book, Just Behind the Door, understand that this has been THE ongoing statement that my son, from the other side, has communicated for over a decade. It makes so much sense to me but I have lived through this communication with Ronnie for so long that it is natural. So to be clearer about the intent in the phrase let me explain.

I believe each of us agrees, pre-birth, on the lessons we will work on in this lifetime. The themes are numerous, but to list just a few: emotional independence, overcoming feelings of powerlessness or unworthiness, overcoming our fears, forgiveness, gratitude, unconditional love, the list goes on and on. We agree to experience situations in our life that will help us learn the lessons we have chosen to learn. The challenges that are presented in learning these lessons can take us to the brink of denial, anger, rebellion, withdrawal even total helplessness until we finally get it, recognize it and learn from it. Remember no one but YOU agreed to work on the lessons that you are dealing with in your life. It is, as if, first God/Universal Energy whispers, (this is the first time the lesson is presented) then speaks ( a similar, more dramatic experience presented a second time) then shouts with an even more difficult, challenging situation the third (or more) time the lesson surfaces. The experiences just keep adding up, causing us tremendous hurt and challenge until, one day, we GET IT. There is no one to blame, no one to rail at because we chose to work on the particular lesson(s) until we internalize the learning.

I have experienced the death of two husbands, my son, two sisters, mother, father and close friends. In addition, I have experienced divorce – more than once. For each experience, I railed at the Universe. Why me? What have I done wrong? I demanded that the situation be different. I felt I should be able to fix it, if I just tried hard enough. Gradually, as I learned more, an “aha” happened. Now, I realize that my life is about accepting that I cannot control everything, to have greater faith in God/Universal Energy and, along the way, to learn to love myself. I guess I was a remedial learner who needed to experience many losses to finally get it!

So, when I say, “All is as it should be,” it is. When we look back – hindsight is always 20/20 – we have a greater awareness, if not acceptance, as to the why.

What lesson are you working on?