Often we receive advance notice when our loved ones are about to pass on. They seem to be trying to prepare us for the change that is inevitable. At the time, we frequently miss the message or refuse to accept it as a way to protect ourselves. We don’t want to say ‘good-bye’ or even ‘see you later.’ After our loss we remember the hundreds of wonderful moments in the lives of our loved ones and we inevitably come to relive the moment when the particular message was given to us from them. It hits you like a ton of bricks and you realize they really were trying to help you cope with their exit by giving you a message that ‘all is as it should be.’
These messages can be subtle (and not so subtle). In part of my book, I wrote about these type of messages from both my son and mom. Their ‘notice’ which I chose not to hear at the time, has served many times to remind me that there is a reason, season and life plan behind everything. How long is a life plan? Exactly as long as it is supposed to be.
As my mom pointed to a particular tree on my property she said, “When the last leaf is gone from that tree I will be gone.” Late evening on November 18, 1999, I was at her bedside vigil and took a break to walk outside, the leaf was still on the tree. Three hours later she took her last breath. As my sisters went in to spend time alone with the woman who had given her all as a mother and to wish her well on her journey, I walked outside. The leaf was gone from the branch above but still present, laying gently on the grass at the base of the tree. Its life force had changed but the form was still evident. I have the leaf encased in plastic as a reminder that messages are given to us for a reason. They help us to accept the seemingly unacceptable as all part of a plan greater than ourselves.
Loss and grief are something we all live through in our lifetime. We learn lessons about unconditional love, energy and the importance of being fully engaged in the moment.
May 2013 be all you wish it to be!