Just Behind the Door

In Truman Capote’s biography the author explained that when Truman walked into a room is was like “the chemist’s drop of (a) volatile substance that changed the composition of any gathering from amity to effervescence.”

We have all met someone like this and marvel that just by walking in a room, everything seems better, more interesting. Sometimes we wish we could be more like them. The room seems to sparkle with their energy, charm and magnetism. That is a gift few have but all admire. However, like everything in life gifts can also be burdens.

Do we ever allow them just to be themselves? Or do we see them through rose colored glasses and just assume that they are always this way, without major down days or emotional challenges that weight on them. The truth is that everyone has the ups and downs of human emotions. Some people are just much better at hiding it. Many times, their reputation precedes them. In the past they may have been told of their effect on others which causes them to strive hard to live up to that expectation. They strive to be proper, positive and entertaining and not let anyone see a crack in their armor. Regardless of what concerns they have at the moment they will ‘perform’ with excellence because they want to please and live up to their ‘perceived’ reputation.

It’s important that we realize, after all, they are human and allow them to just be themselves. When they are feeling stressed or down they need to be given the love and acceptance to work through their feelings. If not, they may bury them for a while but like water that forcefully pushes at the cracks in a dam until it is allowed to flow more freely, their emotions will surface often with an intensity that seems out of proportion to the circumstance. Feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, angry or fearful can be hidden momentarily but surface when least expected. Usually, if these type of folks do let it out it is with someone that they fully trust, someone they know will not reject them or think less of them. In other words, they intuitively know that they can let their guard down without judgment or reprisal.

Human emotions are a commonality we all share. No one escapes the negative feelings of fear, anger or resentment. We may choose to label the feelings differently but they are felt all the same. It is the manner by which we work through them and allow others to work through them that’s the significant difference. Not what or who, in essence, but how is the issue here.

The next time someone you love or care for deeply reacts in a disproportionate way to an event just remember that they feel you are a safe harbor that will allow their venting to relieve the pressure of the emotional stress they have inside from something in the past. It may not feel like it but, in essence, it is a vote of confidence that they have given you. Everyone needs to find a way to let go of pent up emotions and not carry that baggage into another day. It’s important to remember that even those we greatly admire are human and have their own life lessons they are working on. As with everyone we meet in life, acceptance of where they are at the moment is key.

Have a great few days!