Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Express Yourself!

Unexpressed anger prevents unity. The operative word, of course, is ‘unexpressed’. When we move from disappointment to anger with someone and think we can bury it inside or ignore it usually we simply can’t do so. The anger continues, festers then boils inside of us and soon everything that the other person does aggravates us. Little by little the relationship sours and we eventually wonder what happened.
Actually, the real problem was that something didn’t happen and its called communicating our authentic feelings. Often, we choose to dismiss rather than confront issues. Why? It’s messy, uncomfortable, scary and can be quite unpleasant to discuss something that really bothers you about another person but if you don’t – and there really is an issue – it is a matter of time until the entire house of cards comes tumbling down.

The statement, ‘The less said the sooner mended,’ can certainly be true if you are able to let the feelings you have inside pass on through you. If not, avoiding an uncomfortable topic with someone serves no useful purpose. In fact, your heart feels closed and you may feel lethargic – lacking the energy to see a better tomorrow. The Universe is a great teacher and gives us signals when things just feel a bit off. These signals are meant as a call to action. We need to set things right with ourselves and others.

Lyrics from the Moody Blues’ song, “Say What You Mean,” speaks volumes:

“Say what you mean
Mean what you say
Think about the words
Speak for yourself
Say what’s on your mind
Think about the life you are choosing…
Look into the world of tomorrow
Say what you want
Want what is true…”

There is no rule that says you have to closet your true feelings for the sake of someone else. If they truly care about you they would want to know what both your mind and heart is telling you. It is important to remind yourself not to let your heart close. You are too important to this world to allow that to happen. If you start to feel yourself close off to the energy of another just take a moment and ask yourself what is the benefit of closing your heart. You really do have a choice and the most authentic choice is always the best. Face your feelings, or anger with words not of attack to another but with a genuine desire for resolution.

Your own happiness must remain your primary focus. It is not out of selfishness that you consider yourself first but out of a knowing that if you are not happy with the way things are others in your inner circle will ultimately not be happy as well.

Take the risk, speak your mind using your authentic feelings and all will happen just as it is suppose to happen. You are worth the risk!

Have a great few days!

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