When someone we love leaves us, whether it is a temporary or permanent loss, often our heart aches, we miss them, and want them back. We may know it is unreasonable in our minds but our hearts keep thinking, “If, only …” In my book, Just Behind the Door, there is a poem I included that I had read in the newspaper years ago. Since the author was anonymous, I took the liberty of making a few changes. While meeting with people recently, I had many people comment about the impact the poem has had on them. Hopefully, it will speak to you as well.
You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she will be back, or you can open your eyes and see all that she left for you.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her or it can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in the yesterdays or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember only that she is gone or you can cherish the memories and let her live on in your heart.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what she would want you to do, smile, open your eyes, and truly live.
You can grieve that she is gone or you can remember that she will always be with you.
Our loved ones both here and on the other side are just a loving thought away. Unconditional love works that way. It is the Alpha and Omega of the Universe.
If you know of someone who is struggling with a separation or loss please consider passing this poem and website on to them. Your positive thought and energy may help them just when they need it the most.
Until next time, please remember
ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE
We know that when we ask our loved ones for a sign that they are with us, the signs come in various forms. It may be a phone call and their name shows up on caller ID, lights that flicker, something out of the ordinary happens in your life that only you and the person who has passed on would relate to – the signals are too varied to list all of them. When I just wanted reassurance that my son was close, I would ask him to send me a sign and I even specified the sign that I wanted, “Just show me a penny so that I know you are near,” I would think to myself. Within hours the pennies would start showing up. In my kitchen drawers (which I do clean out regularly) on my floor or carpet that I had just cleaned, in front of a chair that no one ever sits in, in my car and on and on. One day, I was at the car wash and was getting out of my car when the attendant asked me to move my car to another bay. No problem, I thought. As I opened the door to get out of my car once it was in the open bay, there is was – a penny. I naturally looked over to the first bay I had pulled into and there was no penny to be found. If a day is unusually challenging, sometimes I have found 4 or 5 pennies. It puts a smile on my face and I just say, “Thanks, Ronnie, I needed that!”
My daughter-in-law knows of this thing with pennies and recently sent me a poem about them. I googled the poem to be sure I gave the author proper credit. It turns out there was no known author. But imagine my surprise when I read a story from a man that said after his 18 year old son had died he was walking out of a store and started seeing pennies. Not just some – but many. In fact, he said by the time he picked them all up, filling both of his pockets, he had $6.00 worth of them. There were many other stories about the topic of signs on this website as well. Makes me realize how hard our loved ones are trying to get our attention and open the lines of communication with us. My son has proven to me that he always around. I am humbled and grateful for his unconditional love and ongoing communication.
The Angel and the Penny
I found another penny today
Just laying on the ground
But it’s not just a penny
This little coin I’ve found
That’s what my Grandma told me
She said angels toss them down
Oh, how I loved that story
She said when an angel misses you
They toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up,
To create a smile from a frown
So don’t pass by that penny
When you are feeling blue,
It may be a penny from heaven
That your loved one tossed to you!
Have a great few days and watch for signs from you loved one!
I have 2 book talks coming up for anyone that can attend: Kazoo Books, 2413 Parkview, Kalamazoo – 6:30 PM and Michigan News, 308 Michigan Ave., Kalamazoo – 5:00 PM
Both Celine Dion and Sarah Brightman sing about saying goodbye to a loved one. Their songs, ‘Goodbye’ (The Saddest Word) by Celine and ‘Time to say Goodbye’ by Sarah are incredibly beautiful. In fact, Dion’s song, ‘Goodbye’ was played at my sister’s wonderful service years ago. Handel’s Messiah, the Hallelujah Chorus is riveting for me. Every time I hear it, I stop and think about what an amazing gift one human being was able to give us. My heart just seems to expand as I listen to it. Song lyrics, works of art and poetry are the bearer of cultural values. They represent what can touch our hearts and bring tears to our eyes. These creations from others who have been given such incredible talent have a way of focusing us on the importance of our relationships with others – love – the Alpha and Omega of the Universe.
Death, divorce, separation are all forms of life changing loss. The important thing to remember is that we actually did not ‘lose’ our loved ones. They are not really gone. They may be out of sight but their energy is around us all the time. As my family members have said in my book; they want to communicate with us and are waiting for us to slow down long enough to invite them into our consciousness. When it involves divorce or separation I feel that when the lessons are learned, and all the lines delivered, as in a great play, in may be time for scene changes. Again, you didn’t lose someone. The love that you shared will always be in your heart. It just may be time to move on, with grace and gratitude for what you had and what wonderful things are yet to come into your life.
My son, mother and sister communicate with me often. They have been gone for a decade but they still have a way of getting my attention when I need it most! Remember the First Law of Thermodynamics, energy cannot be created nor destroyed only changed in form. Our loved ones may be changed in form but are as real a presence as ever in our lives. They are simply not burdened down by this heavy shell called a body. Most importantly, they want us to be happy, to go on living, and share the wonderful stories about them.
Loss elicits grief – deep grief – when you love someone. The deeper the love, the deeper the feelings of loss. I think that can be a good thing. After all, deep love is what makes the world such a wonderful place.
Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem from ‘In Memoriam:27, 1850 speaks so clearly to me.
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.