Just Behind the Door

Both Celine Dion and Sarah Brightman sing about saying goodbye to a loved one. Their songs, ‘Goodbye’ (The Saddest Word) by Celine and ‘Time to say Goodbye’ by Sarah are incredibly beautiful. In fact, Dion’s song, ‘Goodbye’ was played at my sister’s wonderful service years ago. Handel’s Messiah, the Hallelujah Chorus is riveting for me. Every time I hear it, I stop and think about what an amazing gift one human being was able to give us. My heart just seems to expand as I listen to it. Song lyrics, works of art and poetry are the bearer of cultural values. They represent what can touch our hearts and bring tears to our eyes. These creations from others who have been given such incredible talent have a way of focusing us on the importance of our relationships with others – love – the Alpha and Omega of the Universe.

Death, divorce, separation are all forms of life changing loss. The important thing to remember is that we actually did not ‘lose’ our loved ones. They are not really gone. They may be out of sight but their energy is around us all the time. As my family members have said in my book; they want to communicate with us and are waiting for us to slow down long enough to invite them into our consciousness. When it involves divorce or separation I feel that when the lessons are learned, and all the lines delivered, as in a great play, in may be time for scene changes. Again, you didn’t lose someone. The love that you shared will always be in your heart. It just may be time to move on, with grace and gratitude for what you had and what wonderful things are yet to come into your life.

My son, mother and sister communicate with me often. They have been gone for a decade but they still have a way of getting my attention when I need it most! Remember the First Law of Thermodynamics, energy cannot be created nor destroyed only changed in form. Our loved ones may be changed in form but are as real a presence as ever in our lives. They are simply not burdened down by this heavy shell called a body. Most importantly, they want us to be happy, to go on living, and share the wonderful stories about them.

Loss elicits grief – deep grief – when you love someone. The deeper the love, the deeper the feelings of loss. I think that can be a good thing. After all, deep love is what makes the world such a wonderful place.

Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem from ‘In Memoriam:27, 1850 speaks so clearly to me.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.