Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘regrets’

Accepting What You Cannot Change

In the last two blogs we looked more deeply at the Serenity Prayer, ” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” We first examined the topic of having the courage to change the things we can change. We dug deep to find out if our fears, developed from our early life conditioning and other life experiences have served to limit our courage to change those things we can change. In this blog we will look at accepting those things we cannot change. As with everything in life, the topic of acceptance starts with examining our personal attitude, beliefs and behaviors.

Acceptance of ourselves is the key to a life well lived. Many of us have grown up watching T.V. programs that portray what a perfect personality, size, looks, career, home, family and life is all about. What we may have failed to realize is that there is no such thing. Those were a figment of someone’s imagination – a story that someone made up and sold along the way. When we accept the story line as truth (this is what you need to have or to do to be happy) then add to it the reality of our early conditioning, we may feel that our lives are lacking something or just isn’t that great. Every human being experiences tough times and times of personal doubt. It is a part of living on planet earth. Accepting that perfection in life, or even a life of smooth sailing is not only highly unlikely it simply doesn’t exist helps us gain perspective. The issue then is to decide what is in our overall best interest to accept without resentment or regret and realize that our life is a gift to be grateful for not a burden to be carried.

Through our own effort and with free will we have the power to build on our strengths and change nearly anything in life if we so choose. Likewise, we also have the right to recognizing that we don’t have to meet anyone’s arbitrary standard. Accepting that growth and acceptance is totally within our control we feel more empowered. We are living the life we chose with all of its’ challenges and rewards. Each of us as different as our fingerprints. Once we truly accept our authentic self it speaks volumes to others. We are happy in our own skin and the positive energy we emit attracts more of the same to us like a magnet.

To check yourself on your level of self acceptance ask yourself if it is harder to accept the good in yourself or are you too busy thinking about what you don’t like about yourself? The later view keeps you locked into remorse, anger or resentment which attracts more negative energy and experiences in your life. There may be things that we would like to improve upon but when we allow ourselves to become laser focused on them making them an all encompassing concern we lose sight of the joy in living.

Are we living the life we had planned? Or totally accomplishing those things that we want to do? Maybe or maybe not at this time. But you got up this morning right? You went about your daily tasks and made it through the day. You may have even found a little time help someone or to relax along the way. So the day might have been challenging but it was successful.

To experience more acceptance in our lives we can start by putting things in perspective with a thought from the Buddha, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” The good news is that if you read that statement closely it is in the past tense. In other words, today you lived the energy you thought about yesterday. Was it positive accepting energy? You can make tomorrow even better by accepting the lessons you learned today with humility and grace.

Knowing that the Universe doesn’t make mistakes and accepting who you really are, deep down inside, helps us to feel a greater sense of confidence and serenity in life. Acceptance then is about you – first and foremost. When you fully accept yourself you no longer find the need to focus on what you don’t have but are grateful for what you have been able to achieve. We are all doing the best we can and succeeding at it – one human being at a time.

Have a great few days!

Opportunity or Burden?

Today is a new day. The sun is shining and the weather clear. It is going to be a good day! Actually, regardless of the weather we can choose to make it a good day …or not. It all depends on our attitude.

If you find yourself with a case of regret today, you know the thoughts, ‘I wish I would have, could have, should have…’ just stop. We all have a case of regret from time to time but it is the amount of time we allow ourselves to wallow in it that determines our overall view on life and the heights – the altitude – that we will achieve.

If you have not been able to do, be or achieve all that you have dreamed about yet in your life, Congratulations! Welcome to the human race. Everyday we have a chance to view our circumstance as a gift of opportunity – of things we have yet to be or achieve or burden of regret. ‘Opportunity viewing’ draws more positive energy to us and ‘burden viewing’ depletes us and those who are around us of life sustaining energy.

The average person has about sixty thousand thoughts a day. These thoughts are run through our own personal lenses of opportunity or regret. If you make it a habit of seeing the possibility, the lesson, the gift in even a challenging situation you are tuning your own mental channel to a higher frequency. As a result, a more positive attitude and ultimate results are in store for you. Allowing yourself to stay in the ‘poor me’ type of thinking may garner you attention from others but ultimately they will choose to avoid you as much as possible because you are simply to draining to be around.

It truly is impossible to feel bad and have good thoughts. Your mind cannot hold opposite energy waves simultaneously. The habit – and that is just what it is – simply a habit of negative thinking is something we can choose to change. First and foremost we must admit to ourselves that we have a habit of negative viewing and then apply a conscious effort to rephrase in your mind those ‘poor me’ thoughts. The good news is that the more you practice it the better you feel until one day you realize you have replaced your old negative thinking habits with a new much more enlightened, happier mindset. You have arrived!

The choice is always up to us. In goal setting we say that you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired in order to choose to change. We can choose to get attention from remaining stuck or consciously choose to refuse to let the daily events and challenges wear us down. There really is a silver lining behind every cloud we simply need to train our eyes to look for it.

Show me a pile of yuk and you will see me searching for the pony. I live, breathe and know that something good will come out of even the most dire circumstance. Opportunity thinking can change the life of anyone…it simply takes a decision to view this day, this moment as a gift.

Have a great few days!