This website is about deepening our understanding about human emotions especially dealing with grief and loss. The topic of loss comes in many forms. An important one is the loss people experience from a lack of respect from others due to their lifestyle. We are, after all, created by the same Universal Energy of pure love. This site is about trying to make the world a better place one person, one blog, at a time. Rarely do I enter into current events unless my heart moves me to do so- and it did today.
Guido Barilla, chairman of the world’s leading pasta manufacture on Wednesday stated, “I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role.” Why am I having a hard time accepting his explanation? The latest add for his company features Antonio Banderas baking biscuits (it seems there are 15 different brands and products made by the Barilla company) and talking to children about a chicken called Rosita. It was MR. Banderas who was featured in the add – but didn’t Barilla argue his point by saying ‘women play a fundamental role? Mr. Barilla also said he opposes adoption by gay parents. Ah…the real issue surfaces. No question where he stands on the topic of respect and equal rights. After a firestorm on social media sites, Barilla responded, “I apologize if my words have generated controversy or misunderstanding…” His words ring both hollow and insincere. Notice he didn’t apologize for being discriminatory but simply of “generating controversy” sounds like he is worried about the bottom line – money – and his PR folks were probably pleading with him, on bended knee, to recant his words. Mr. Barilla I think, ‘ thou protests too much!’ One just has to wonder why.
Misunderstanding really? Mr Barilla there is no ‘misunderstanding.’ Your comments were judgmental, offensive and lacked the integrity needed for a leader of a major company. You have a right to your own extremely limited perception but NOT as a CEO of a major company you inherited from your father which employs over 13,000 people. I wonder how some of your employees who are, no doubt gay, feel working for a company that promotes such discrimination. Do they have to hide in the shadow hoping not to be discovered and fired due to your stance? You made yourself both sadly and perfectly clear. Your comments were not a simple misunderstanding but a hateful and judgmental attack. You might want to contemplate on the statement, ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged.’
Now it is up to us, as consumers, to stand up and be counted. There is no place in my world that can accept a company that promotes discrimination, that includes Chic-fil-A and any other company that promotes division and discrimination among people. I accept the suggestion from Mr. Barilla that if his words upset me, simply do not eat his pasta – actually I could no longer stomach it. With each bite his comments would ring in my ear. Now let’s see if his 5.4 billion in net sales with be likewise effected. It’s up to us to decide.
It is good to know that alternatives exist. For instance, Bertolli, another Italian pasta maker company is NOT discriminatory and chose to feature a commercial highlighting a gay couple back in 2008! Imagine that! The character of this CEO and his company speaks volumes. They now have me as a permanent customer. I’m putting the intention out there that over the next year or so Bertolli will increase their sales by 40% because of both the integrity of their company and the quality of their product.
There is no room for discrimination, judgment or hateful comments in my world. Not now – not ever. Mr. Barilla will reap what he sows. That’s just how the Universe works.
Please forward this blog on to your friends and family. Information is a powerful thing. Let’s give others the chance to make a difference – an informed choice – so everyone can be accepted and treated with respect.
Have a great few days!
Just Behind the Door 
Comments on: "Barilla Out/Bertolli In" (3)
Mary, I have been wanting to tell you for awhile how much your writings have helped me progress through my grief. I have read your book, Just Behind the Door, twice and continually refer to it. My son suicided in 2011, and it was rough at first. I have since embraced this loss and know its a temporary separation. “All is as it should be” is posted on my refrigerator door so each morning I am reminded that there are lessons to be learned. Thank you for helping me release negative feelings by reclaiming and discovering my purpose here on earth.
Dear Marilyn, first let me tell you that my heart goes out to you with the passing of your son. Unless you have been there you just don’t understand the gut wrenching pain. The death of a child is beyond understanding, description and initially even acceptance. It seems to be against nature. We wonder, at times, what we could have done to prevent it. Even thoughts such as, ‘Why didn’t I see this coming – what did I miss’ continue to replay over and over in our minds. The thoughts continue until you are nearly broken emotionally and physically.
It took me years to ‘get it’ and even longer to write about it. There was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. The Universe had a plan, I just didn’t want to accept it. You have read the book twice, thank you for that! When I finished writing it I said to myself and a few friends, ‘If one person is helped by reading it, I will be grateful. I am grateful to you for not only reading it but truly getting the central, most important message, “All is as it should be.” Now every time I question something that is happening in my life I really do say that statement aloud. It is absolute truth.
If you are ever interested in connecting with your son and are looking for someone to channel for you the person I would highly recommend is Lee Cook. I talk about her in the book. If energy cannot be created nor destroyed only changed in form, your son’s energy is available to you. Since he has passed on, his vibrations are higher than ours so a person who can tap into that level of energy is usually needed. There are many out there who say they are able to do so but I only offer her name to you because I have experienced this and know that she is God sent to help us. If you are interested her contact information is 303-494-3453. You simply call the number and leave a message that you would like a reading and leave a number (sometimes if you mention my name she will try to work you in quicker) she will get back to you by phone within a few days and set up a time (usually a 1 hour time frame) when she can talk with you. At the designated time (she is in Boulder, Co. and on mountain time) you then call her. I recommend that you write down 5 or 10 questions you want answered. I always try to take notes on what she says in the reading. Trust me she will get to them without you having to even ask them. She is that amazing. I have recommend hundreds of people to her and have never had 1 person not amazed, grateful and more at peace. In the meantime, I am SO glad that you have posted the statement, “All is as it should be,” because it is…. If you decide to contact Lee I would love to have you send me a note on what you thought of the experience. It will change your life. Thank you again for taking the time to write to me. I am so glad that the book (and blogs) are healing for you. May the peace and love of God be with you always, Mary Leiker
Sent from my iPad
Mary, thank you for giving me a good reason to switch to Barilla and will encourage everyone who has any christian values and up bringing to do the same. Homosexual is not a life style but God the Almighty creator says it is a sin and destroyed Sodom and Gamora because of it and the surrounding cities from them because they were tainted by that sin. I can only call them quieer (a pre 1980’s common description of them) as those that I hve met act and look different. the hit man of the syndicate are queers that have a go at their victom before killing them, often in a sadistic way. there is no respectability being a queer and i presume you are as queer as the rest of them.