Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Unload Your Backpacks!

Our resistance to the values and behaviors of others that our different from our own causes tremendous weight in the backpacks we carry through life. The more resistance we exhibit the greater the weight until we are totally exhausted. Life becomes a burden rather than an experience to cherish. Sound strange? Well, let’s think about it.

From our background and life experiences each of us has created our own set of expectancies of how the world ‘should’ work and how others ‘should’ respond. When an event happens that doesn’t fit our framework we often become uncomfortable or even angry. Like a young child who learned how to get their own way we may become upset and mentally demand that things go according to ‘our’ plan. The problem with this type of thinking is that every human being has their own set of expectancies, their own plan which frequently does not match up to our own. You may be thinking, ‘but I know the right approach, the right answer and others are not listening to me.’ Of course you think you do and that is exactly why they may not be listening. The biggest reason they begin to shut you out is that they simply disagree with you and they have that right. The sad part about it is that eventually they choose not to be around you and ultimately that hurts.

The question then becomes what do we do with the event or negative energy that we feel when things do not go according to our plan and people slowly begin to avoid us? There seems to be two choices. We can either look at the situation and realize that everyone has their own take on life and respect it by letting the discomfort roll off our backs or we can perseverate on it and take the energy into our bodies where it will find a stockpile of similar negative, resistant energies that are stuck inside us. If we choose the latter it is like adding weight to our backpacks. Over time the weight becomes heavier. Rather than stones or rocks we are now carrying boulders in our backpacks. As the weight increases our minds and hearts become weighted down simply from living. In an attempt to regain control we then add more weight to our backpacks by adding more of the ‘they should’ type of thinking to our mindset until our world becomes terribly small. Others don’t want to be around us and start to avoid our energy. Why? It is just too exhausting to be around.

Just think, this whole process started because we determined that much of life may not be the way we like it and insisted that things and people change to fit into ‘our’ way of thinking. Soon, due to our self imposed resistance to the values others hold dear, we actually move to a more even more dramatic level where we expect to become disappointed or uncomfortable with others. As always, the Universe gives back to us exactly what we give out and gradually we become less rather than more. Our world is closing in on us. Unless we choose to be perpetually unhappy, does it makes sense to continue to expect, demand even, that others to do what makes us happy? Again, only children act this way until they mature and realize that it is not about others making them happy but about the unique gifts each individual brings to the table to make it more bountiful.

If we seem to be experiencing more stress and discomfort in our lives, maybe it’s time to do a reality check. What are we doing to cause the situation? The amazing thing is that we have the power to change it! We don’t need to remain stuck with our world closing in on us until we are isolated and alone. All it takes is the willpower to make small changes which bit by bit grow into a larger, more expansive comfort zone. This zone welcomes different thinking and views of the world. It is nonjudgmental and recognizes the unconditional love within each of us that is just waiting to be invited in rather than shut out. We can choose to open up to learn from others and relish in the rewards of the positive energy that will then surround us. It’s always up to us – that’s the beauty of free will.

Have a great few days!

Comments on: "Unload Your Backpacks!" (1)

  1. Just need to understand! From a husband that smokes pot. To a mother that from day to day will say do not contact me again? I’m left with what the what?

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