Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘everything is as it should be’

Make Your Life Extraordinary!

It is said that to change our life from ordinary to extraordinary we need to practice four things; awareness, acceptance, appreciation and appropriate action. What does this mean exactly and how can we apply it to our life?

Awareness is always the first step in everything we do. We often see, feel and respond instantaneously. Frequently, our response is from fear or misunderstanding and later as the puzzle pieces are put into place we think to ourselves, ‘Oh, now I understand.’ In the meantime we may have put ourselves through all kinds of stress assuming we saw truth when in reality we simply observed an isolated situation. We remind ourselves to calm down and not be so quick to judge … and we try…until the next time when something hits us out of the blue. Timing is everything and when we give ourselves the gift of time by inhaling and exhaling slowly as we strive to process something different or unknown we can slowly retrain ourselves to respond more calmly rather than merely react. The suggestion to ‘count to 10’ is worthy of consideration.

The second step, Acceptance of what is without judging or trying to change something seems, at first to go against everything we know. Yet, when we begin to practice observing and describing rather than constantly evaluating we begin to see a deeper truth. Gone is the tendency to judge others and decide the ‘shoulds’ or ‘if onlys’ of their actions. When we accept the idea that any judgement we place on people is really nonproductive and elicits negative energy we must ask ourselves is it worth it? Since we haven’t walked in their shoes we really have no idea about the why or intent behind their actions. To take it a step further, it’s important to remember that this is their journey. We have our own pathway to follow. We have not been put into this world to live up to their expectations nor they ours.

The next step, Appreciation allows us to look at the choices and decisions we have made in our lives and realize that each one was valuable. There were no mistakes, missteps or blame to be placed but rather simply experiences along the way that we have all chosen to live through to better understand and grow as a person.

Ultimately, Appropriate Action is when our heart, mind and will are all in alignment. Each of us has value and a heart and mind that wants to be understood. We can choose to see the positive – the soul light – in everyone. After all, the Universe doesn’t make mistakes. When we actually choose a daily practice of seeing the positives in life amazing things happen. Think of it this way, when life gives us lemons we not only decide to make lemon aid but willingly share it with others – now that’s powerful!

By internalizing these four concepts life becomes a bit easier. The bumps and bruises along the way hurt less and heal quicker and we have more patience, understanding and acceptance of ourselves and others. Now that’s really powerful!

Have a great few days!

90% is a Good Percentage!

It has been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Yet, many of us find ourselves ruminating about the many things that can go wrong when trying to make a decision or simply facing a new day. We may conjure up all kinds of ‘what ifs’ regarding things that could happen. I understand the need for caution and to think through the pros and cons of a situation before making a big decision. However, many times we can become paralyzed by fear and refuse to move forward with a change in our lives because something negative might happen.The operative word here is might!

If you fast forward to the end of your life how do you think people will remember you? Will they say he/she gave me energy when I was around them and encouraged me to grow? Or will they think that being around you was an obligation which drained them of their own energy? Something they needed to do simply because they were a family member or close friend. You really never know which of your words or actions will create a lasting memory for someone else.

Our thinking, whether positive or negative takes root and produces seeds that will grow into the tomorrows of our lives. In fact, these seeds can affect the tomorrows of our loved ones lives as well. Our legacy to family and friends can be one of hope, possibility thinking and love or not. It is completely up to us to choose. I believe our words, behavior and overall modeling can be the greatest gift or burden we can pass on to future generations. Our life is no brief candle but a torch that we pass on to future generations that will, hopefully, burn brightly when they remember us. When you put your thinking and behavior in that perspective it takes on a whole new meaning.

The next time you find yourself in a cycle of negative thinking and unable to move past the fear involved in either decision making or simply facing a new day remember that the law of averages is on your side. I believe, without question, the axiom that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Personally, I like those averages!

As my son said in my book, “Mom, everything is as it should be.” I believe this with everything in me. This message from the other side has given me confidence to make changes in my life, face uncertainties when necessary and continue to move forward with a belief of the rightness of my decisions and the wonderful possibilities in my tomorrows. Hopefully, I can pay it forward to you.

Have a great few days!

Experiencing Your Own Peace

The door to our homes can be opened or closed. Inviting contact and communication in from the outside world, or closed, shutting ourselves off to life, people, and possibilities. We can also think of this symbolism in reference to our minds. Are the doors of our minds open in a present tense or closed in the past tense? When I talk with people who have experienced loss or other challenges in their lives, I purposely listen to hear if they are stuck in what used to be – the past tense so to speak of their lives, or are reliving the past but with hopes and dreams for tomorrow. As I explained in my book, Just Behind the Door, our loved ones want us to remember the good times, the wonderful memories but NOT live in the past, stuck in our grief and perseverating on what used to be.
Being able to receive messages from the other side is possible for anyone who truly wants to make the connection. However, the critical first step is to move past the pain, the grief even the anger of what has happened in your life and realize nothing happens by accident. Every event – good or bad – happens for a reason. If we take the time to think about the issue, the lesson will surface. As my son has told me so many times, “Mom, everything is as it should be.” I don’t have to like it but I do need to realize that life goes on and my job is to make it the best life possible.
My path in life includes empathically listening to people to help them find their own peace. When we realize that life is planned, purposeful and designed for us to learn the true meaning of unconditional love it lessens the stress in our lives. We begin to feel a more calm, serene knowing and a greater trust in the future. Learning that love is the Alpha and Omega of the Universe – the beginning and end as we know it, an important part of achieving peace in our lives. If we genuinely trust ourselves enough to open the door of our minds to the belief of after death communication, the results can be incredibly healing and affirming. If other people do not accept or believe as you do, that is perfectly OK. You do not need to try to verbally convince them. You may find that as you begin to feel more trust, and demonstrate more peace about your own journey in life through your example, others may begin to open up the doors of their mind and seek a deeper understanding. They are on their own path, PLEASE allow them the opportunity to learn their own lessons. The more you try to fix, tell, lecture, organize and otherwise control other people’s lives or thinking the weaker and more dependent you make them. Please give others the trust and benefit of allowing them to proceed in life in their own time and own way. They will discover their own truth.