Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Tomorrow is a New Day’

90% is a Good Percentage!

It has been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Yet, many of us find ourselves ruminating about the many things that can go wrong when trying to make a decision or simply facing a new day. We may conjure up all kinds of ‘what ifs’ regarding things that could happen. I understand the need for caution and to think through the pros and cons of a situation before making a big decision. However, many times we can become paralyzed by fear and refuse to move forward with a change in our lives because something negative might happen.The operative word here is might!

If you fast forward to the end of your life how do you think people will remember you? Will they say he/she gave me energy when I was around them and encouraged me to grow? Or will they think that being around you was an obligation which drained them of their own energy? Something they needed to do simply because they were a family member or close friend. You really never know which of your words or actions will create a lasting memory for someone else.

Our thinking, whether positive or negative takes root and produces seeds that will grow into the tomorrows of our lives. In fact, these seeds can affect the tomorrows of our loved ones lives as well. Our legacy to family and friends can be one of hope, possibility thinking and love or not. It is completely up to us to choose. I believe our words, behavior and overall modeling can be the greatest gift or burden we can pass on to future generations. Our life is no brief candle but a torch that we pass on to future generations that will, hopefully, burn brightly when they remember us. When you put your thinking and behavior in that perspective it takes on a whole new meaning.

The next time you find yourself in a cycle of negative thinking and unable to move past the fear involved in either decision making or simply facing a new day remember that the law of averages is on your side. I believe, without question, the axiom that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Personally, I like those averages!

As my son said in my book, “Mom, everything is as it should be.” I believe this with everything in me. This message from the other side has given me confidence to make changes in my life, face uncertainties when necessary and continue to move forward with a belief of the rightness of my decisions and the wonderful possibilities in my tomorrows. Hopefully, I can pay it forward to you.

Have a great few days!

Choose to Refuse

Malcolm Gladwell has written three books which are studies of human behavior. His book, Blink explained that the way we processing information makes a major difference in our lives. In Tipping Point he studied the way change happens in people and society. His next book, Outliers offered a unique perspective on what makes people successful. In this last book, he stated that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. That caused me to think about the different areas in which we have become experts in our lives.

When you take this number and think about it on more personal terms, each of us has easily spent over 10,000 hours in study, careers, supporting families, helping others, developing hobbies and, most importantly, creating our own unique perspectives in life. Sometimes the lenses we used to filter our life experiences were clear, giving us an accurate view of our environment and sometimes they were cloudy, effected by events that took our breath away with angst, fear or uncertainty.

Gladwell points out that circumstances surrounding our upbringing make a significant difference in how well we do in this world. I agree but would be quick to add that we all know people who, despite all odds, have become successful, happy, loving human beings. They may have dealt with challenges in life that seemed impossible to overcome, and yet they persevered. They may be a bit battered and weary but refused to give up or become negative or angry. These are the people that when given lemons in life they make lemonade. We know what causes these people to succeed in life while others struggle. It is their strength, courage and optimism that allows them to know that they can handle whatever life throws at them – and they do.

Information is a powerful thing. Once we realize that although our early upbringing, or other life events may have caused us to become ‘experts’ at seeing the glass as half empty we can do something about it. We can CHOOSE to REFUSE to use the excuses, ‘that’s the way I was raised,’ or ‘I can’t do anything about it because…’ and decide to live life fully rather than engage in a life of justifying why we are unhappy. Jim Carrey starred in a movie entitled, Yes Man in 2009 that exemplifies this point. It is worth watching.

We can become experts at living, loving and becoming the person we want to be or experts at regret, anger and fear. It’s a matter of our perspective and the amount of time we are willing to devote to the process. When we hear ourselves thinking negatively we need to consciously redirect our thinking. It takes practice, lots and lots of practice. We could say that we don’t have 10,000 hours of time to practice becoming an ‘expert’ at positive thinking. However, the amount of time left in our life will elapse regardless. The question is how we choose to spend it. What manifests in our lives develops from our thinking. Change our thinking and we change our lives.

Can you just imagine what our world would be like if each of us decided to become experts at making ourselves and our world a happier place? I’ll sign up how about you? Maybe you can pass this blog along to a friend and get them on board. The more people who are engage in the process the quicker the world will change. Let’s make it happen!

Have a great few days!