Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Fear of Tomorrow’

Unlocking Your Potential

To learn to live in unconditional love is the reason we are experiencing life in this incarnation. To achieve this type of love we need to be able to truly accept, understand and appreciate ourselves and others. When you think about it, that’s a tall order. It means not only being totally comfortable in our own skin but to allow others to be comfortable in theirs as well. How is this possible to achieve? When we accept that we all have more in common than we may first think, it opens up our thinking.

1. We are all motivated by acceptance and love
2. We all experience fear from time to time.
3. We have all chosen this lifetime to live through our unique life challenges.
4. Most importantly, we share the same source of our existence.

When we accept these commonalities, it allows us to see ourselves and others through different lenses. It may take an entire lifetime to realize that learning to love yourself and others in a nonjudgmental way is the most important thing we can do. That’s okay. It is a huge lesson.

What opinions do you have about your life experiences to date? We have all lived through tough times and life altering experiences, many in fact, that took our breath away with the pain. Trust me on this one, no one goes through life unscathed.

The question is can we regroup and as the lyrics of the song go, ‘pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.’ Or are we in the blame game, angry that life happened to us when we weren’t expecting it. Anger, blame and fear are debilitating and the direct opposite of unconditional love.

Challenge yourself to examine a life altering experience that appeared so unfair to find the lesson in it. It will necessitate that you stop thinking about the ‘what if’ or ‘why me’ and analyze it from the perspective of what was the most difficult thing to accept from it. There is the lesson, staring you right in the face. Every experience offers us a chance to grow from it as we embrace ourselves and others with unconditional love and faith in tomorrow.

Everything happens for a reason – a purpose. If you find yourself in a negative mindset at first, thinking ‘why me’ just give yourself a little time for the rawness of the hurt to pass. You are a spiritual being, true, but you have both the gift and burden of living this spirituality in a human form with human emotions. Just don’t let yourself get stuck. Talk to a friend, family member or counselor to help yourself regain your footing. Think to yourself, ‘I know there was a purpose for … and I will seek to understand and learn from it.

Unconditional love is the way to unlock our true potential. After all, our thoughts truly are our keys to life. Positive thoughts open doors and negative thoughts close them. We are each on our own individual path to knowing a higher truth and embracing unconditional love. When we believe this, it lets us take a deep breath and ‘allow’ the experiences to help us become better human beings. We then remember with gratitude “All is as it should be.”

Have a great few days!

Reach Out to a Friend

My blog on Sunday was about the importance of friendship. The artist Coldplay wrote a song entitled, “Fix You” that just seems to reiterate the importance of having a few close family or friends that take the time to not simply listen but truly hear you when you need a sounding board or simply a shoulder to lean on. They are more than ‘friends’ that someone can simply ‘unfriend’ on Facebook. (I must admit the thought of simply ‘unfriending’ someone is hard for me to grasp. It must be a generational thing.) The lyrics in Coldplay’s song touch our hearts.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace…

The refrain in the song is hauntingly moving.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Who do you have in your life that help ‘guide you home’ and lighten your load? Everyone needs someone they can reach out to for support, encouragement even redirection at times. We can all get stuck in the fear of the unknown. It can paralyze our mental processing and make us feel like we are ‘stuck in reverse.’ Losing someone close naturally triggers fear of tomorrow. After all, we think to ourselves, we were powerless to stop this loss. We can easily start to generalize that feeling of powerlessness into the rest of our lives. If you find yourself stuck in the ‘whys’ and ‘if onlys’ it may be time to get in touch with someone – a friend, family member or even grief counselor. Do whatever it takes to get the emotional support you need to face tomorrow.

As human beings we have remarkably similar needs. We all need love, acceptance and support. When we lose a loved one each of us goes through predictable stages of grieving. The pain of loss may resurface throughout our lives when something out of the blue triggers memories of what used to be. Verbalizing these feelings is a healthy thing to do. The strongest among us recognize this and are not afraid to reach out for the supportive hand of another.There are special people in our lives to help ‘guide us home’ to find our true north and gently support us as we move on with our lives. They are heaven sent for a reason, season or lifetime.

Is it time to unload the rocks in the backpack you are caring? As I said in my book, the weight of grief can become so heavy that you can become laden down, unable to see the horizon – the light of day in the tomorrows.

Experiencing many losses, I have come to believe – to absolutely know – that God/Universal Energy does not make mistakes. “All is as it should be.” I don’t have to like it but I chose to live through the lessons involved in loss and a big part of that is to learn that I must move through the loss and continue living life. We have been given the gift of family and friends to help us along our way.