Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘resistance’

You’re Doing Your Best!

What if we could live by three tenants: Judge Not, Fear Not, Resist Not. Maybe – just maybe – we could get to the point where any limiting ideas or distorted perspectives of ourselves would simply fade away and allow our minds to refocus on the journey. We would see the joy and blessings of today, this very moment, where anything and everything is possible. By choosing this more positive mindset do you think we might become more tolerant with ourselves and a bit more compassionate with others?

For example, how many times have you played over and over in your head something that you wish you would have said or done differently? Can’t let it go right? That’s because you are playing the blame game and are probably becoming quite good at it! Unfortunately this game has no winners. The sad thing is that it accomplishes nothing and simply causes you to feel even more badly. I’m all for learning from experience but blaming or perseverating on what was – is not learning – it’s more like self flagellation. Color me gone!

Resisting, fearing and judging are all of the same negative ilk. These behaviors keep us locked into our microscopic world where we are judge and jury – but without legal standing. We have no remedy because we have no cause. Time to drop this case and move on!

Having more tolerance and acceptance for yourself begins when you realize that you brought everything you had to the past circumstance and did the very best you could at the moment – because you really did. Self reflection can be a positive thing when you cut yourself a little slack and admit you are human. I’ll bet if you think about a past situation when you feel that you didn’t bring your ‘A’ game to the table, if you really ponder it, you know you didn’t purposely choose to fall short of what you wanted to achieve. You just did. Things happen. Move on. Eliminate the blame and simply change it to a lesson learned by telling yourself, ‘The next time I face this type of situation I intend to …’ and do it. The operative words, of course, are DO IT.

Likewise, when we observe others and think to ourselves ‘why don’t they do this or that’ or ‘they should do it this way.’ Really? Since we can’t walk a mile in their shoes it’s probably better to stop judging and simply remember that they are also doing the very best they can at the moment. They are giving life their best shot – regardless of whether it hits the mark or not – time to give them a break as well.

We are all perfectly imperfect human beings who are trying to navigate life with the knowledge we have at the moment. When we have greater knowledge and experience we may choose to respond differently. But until then … there is no place for judgment, fear or resistance. We are better than that because we know that we are all on the journey of our chosen lifetime and learning day by day along the way.

So today, look in the mirror and smile, pat yourself on the back, and know that you are doing your best – with today’s knowledge – and that’s good enough!

Have a great few days!

Individualized Curriculum Plan for Life

What if …just what if… we are each living our life here on earth with our own individualized curriculum plan of life lessons? Can you visualize carrying around a textbook with your name on it and reviewing the table of contents to find it is uniquely designed just for you?

When we find ourselves struggling with the same things over and over in life we wonder …why, why is this path I’m on so terribly difficult? We can’t seem to get past it and on to chapter two – we’re stuck in neutral. The challenge just continues to resurface in different shades or versions until one day we drop the demand, the resentment even, that things be different and ask for help in understanding the true lesson of acceptance. The classroom of life delivers exactly the lessons we need at exactly the right time to give us an opportunity to become wiser, more loving human beings.

Often people ask how they can discover what their lessons are – what are they supposed to be learning. The answer is simple, the getting there more complex. If you look at your life at this point what is the absolute most difficult thing for you? What makes you want to grit your teeth and demand that things be different? Bingo! Somewhere in your response is the show stopper – the big lesson – that you have chosen to learn. When we stop thinking that life is unfair and demanding things be different we are on the path to acceptance and acceptance is key. When we start searching for what WE need to learn the ‘aha’ comes flooding into our consciousness. Pride, envy, fear, control, resistance all become things of the past and we move forward with humility and gratitude.

In our individualized life plans we are given the teachers (when the student is ready the teacher comes along) our very own individualized curriculum and even testing out opportunities along the way. In fact, these plans are so individualized that we can take all the time we choose to learn our lessons. We can resist and extend the length of learning time or we can ask the Universe for help while searching in ourselves for what we are doing to continually get results we do not want. Each of us has the power to overcome incredible odds when we stop blaming or making excuses and move to a position of, ‘It’s me not thee.’

Is it time to trust yourself and the Universe enough to let go of the strangle hold of control and your demand that things be different? If we take a deep breath and admit that we feel powerless at times but have faith that all will work out just as it is supposed to something magical happens and we find greater strength in knowing that everything is going to be okay. We gain a renewed sense of confidence that regardless of the challenge we can make it through and learn from it. What if…just what if…we turn the kaleidoscope ever so slightly and search for the opportunity for learning in the challenge. Rather hard to wrap your mind around but worth the effort.

Everyday and in every way we are growing and becoming what we have chosen to be…fully present, at peace with ourselves and others and grateful for the opportunity to tap into the Universal energy at any moment simply by humbling ourselves and asking for help and deeper understanding along the way.

Have a great few days!

The Gift of Chaos

How often do you experience chaos or challenges in your life? Have you ever thought about what purpose these events serve? Seriously, I used the word chaos for a reason. Each challenging, chaotic event allows us the opportunity for growth. It forces us to stretch by thinking about things in new and different ways. It allows us to become more flexible and develop a greater capacity to handle life. As a result we become wiser, more secure and able to see that we are stronger and more capable than we ever thought possible. Actually, viewing chaos in this way allows us to see it as a gift of growth opportunity from the Universe.

Often we look at chaos as something just to get through as quickly as possible or we put up a wall of protection around ourselves and resist thinking about what it could teach us. Resistance is the key here. The more we resist the inevitable changes often brought about through temporary chaos in our life the more discomfort we feel. The more discomfort we feel the more we are thinking about what we don’t want rather than what we do want in our lives. We may even find ourselves demanding that things be different … meaning the same as they have always been. Not only is that unrealistic it is stagnating in our lives.

Remember how important it is to occupy your mind with positives and possibilities? If you are resisting challenging events as they occur in your life you are doing just the opposite. You are occupying your mind with the negatives about what you don’t want in life rather than what you do want in life. Remember, the Universe will deliver to you whatever is foremost in your thinking – every time without fail.

If we visualize our lives through a kaleidoscope we have the power to turn the cylinder ever so slightly when experiencing chaos and accept the situation simply as that – a situation that we can grow and learn from rather than resist or refuse to accept. The saying, ‘you can run but you can’t hide’ is apropos here. We have, after all, each chosen our unique life lessons to learn and they will be presented to us again and again, in one form or another, until we learn them and move beyond the self imposed limitations that we see as security. The question then is how long will it take, how many times do the chaotic events need to surface before we breathe deeply and say to ourselves, ‘Ah, I get it, I have been in this place of discomfort before but this time I will choose to learn from it.’

Viewing chaos as challenging but necessary for personal growth allows us to truly internalize the saying, ‘All is as it should be.’