Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘pain’

Synchronicity – God/Universal Energy is at Work!

Today is the 13th anniversary of my son, Ronnie’s death. So many friends and family remembered (including my grandboys) that caused me to feel both grateful and overwhelmed. If you have gotten the chance to read the book, Just Behind the Door, you won’t be surprised by the next few sentences. The publishing house emailed me and verified that my copies (40 softcover and 20 hardcovers) would be delivered soon for upcoming book talks. Synchronicity, as defined by Carl Jung means the simultaneous occurrence of events that are meaningfully related. In other words, things happening that seem rather coincidental but have a certain common theme or effect and time. Well, once again, the synchronicity in my life continues. The books were delivered to my door TODAY, on the anniversary of his death. Thank you to God/Universal Energy and Ronnie for reiterating to me the message that unconditional love is forever.

For those of you who remember the artist, Carly Simon, she produced a song in the ’70’s entitled, “Haven’t Got Time For the Pain.” Although we would all like to believe it to be true, the reality is that certain days trigger memories of unconditional love and unconditional loss. The pain, once again, comes flooding into our consciousness. It is important to honor and hold both the pain and love in our hearts during these times. Denial of the feelings involved in loss or grief forces the hurt to bury itself deeper into our psyche. It is both mentally and physically unhealthy to keep it buried. A loss, as painful as it is, can be an opportunity for us to connect to the real truth in our lives. Our loved ones are always around us and ready to help and offer encouragement from the other side. Just remember they have 20/20 hindsight and foresight. The lyrics of Carly’s song, “I haven’t got time… room.. or need for the pain” sounds rather cold. But if you listen further to the song, it is a confirmation of everything I write about in the book. “You showed me how.. to leave myself behind …and turn down the noise in my mind… Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive…’Til you showed me how, to fill my heart with love and to open up and drink in all that white love pouring down from heaven.” When you hear songs that resonate with you, there is a reason.

I again say thank you to all of you who have been emailing and calling me after reading the book. Some of you have even written while you were still in the middle of reading it! I am humbled and thankful that it is helping so many people think about the loss of a loved in a larger context. One of the quotes from Ronnie in the book is so fitting, “Everyone needs to know that nothing dies. The spirit, the soul lives on. Love and communication continues, forever, if people will open themselves up to it.”

Let that last sentence roll around in your mind for awhile. The truth will present itself to you.

Until next time, have a loving and joyful week.

Are you Inclusive or Exclusive?

As fellow travelers in life, how often do we stop to think about connecting with others to help them? Loss, hurt, pain, denial and avoidance are themes that seem to continue to surface in all of us from time to time. When we listen, without judgment to others, we may be surprised to hear that they have walked on a similar path. It can be reassuring or disarming to realize that, as human beings, we are much more alike than originally imagined. Although we are each a unique individual, we share incredibly similar lessons.

When we experience a loss that rocks us to our very core, our behaviors, attitudes and viewpoints frequently change. I talk with so many people about loss and have come to realize that they seem to fall into one of two camps. They either choose to pick up the shattered pieces of their life and become more inclusive after the initial wound is healed or, sadly, they retreat into themselves and become more exclusive in an attempt to shield themselves from further hurt.

The difference is significant. The energy around us can either serve to heal us or debilitate us. Energy, in itself, is neutral. It is our thinking that causes it to become a positive, life giving force or a negative drain on our daily existence. Life is meant to be lived. Yes, even after experiencing the greatest loss of your life, you need to reengage and keep going. I have been there and talk from experience. You will never be able to protect yourself from unforeseen events but you can live today, this moment, for all it is worth. You can choose to close and lock the doors in your mind to others or open the doors and let your heart welcome in their healing energy. Think of the power and energy from the sun. Even with that intense power, it cannot get through a shuttered door. We need the energy from others to heal from loss. Set a goal tomorrow to open the doors of your mind and heart and welcome in fellow travelers. Take the time to reach out to someone. You will be glad that did!

Have a great rest of the week!