Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Just Behind the Door’

Synchronicity Works!

I have often been asked how I come up with the blog topics I write on since they are so varied. The answer is quite simple really – I wait for the spirit to move me (no pun intended). A word, event or person just seems to trigger a thought and the rest is history. Following this logic, the topic today is on synchronicity. On three separate occasions within the last few days I have experienced it. The message was clear to me after the third experience … time to talk about this amazing process called synchronicity.

The psychiatrist, Carl Jung, is credited with identifying this concept in the 1920’s. In 1952 he published a paper entitled ‘Synchronicity – An Acausal Connecting Principle.’ In it he explained that ‘just as events may be connected by causality, they may be also be connected by meaning.’ This paper followed an epiphany in 1951 when Jung stated that Einstein’s thought about the relativity of time and space encouraged him to explore their psychic conditionality. Jung believed that ‘a person was both EMBEDDED IN an orderly framework and was the FOCUS OF that orderly framework through a spiritual awakening.’ Today, we hear about the power of positive energy, the intervention of grace, using positive affirmations, goal setting and tuning into our intuitive sense. These concepts all have one thing in common – learning to tap into a higher source of energy for the greater good of self and others. Let me give you a concrete example to further explain the power of synchronicity.

I made an overseas flight reservation on a foreign airline and had been encouraged by a loved one to apply for a frequent flyer number. Guilty of procrastination, I did not do so. Imagine by surprise when the airline sent me an email weeks later stating that the flight had been changed and I needed to call them. I tried three times to get through and was put on hold for 30 minutes each time before being automatically disconnected. My frustration mounted. That just doesn’t happen right? Then it came to me … apply for the frequent flyer program so that I would receive points for the trip. When we ‘hear’ this gentle nudging from the Universe it’s always best to follow through on it. I was finally able to connect with the airline regarding the change and at the same time give them my newly acquired frequent flyer number to receive points for the trip!

The lesson in this story is clear. When something just isn’t working there is a reason. Be patient and listen. What is your intuition telling you? Follow it for there is always a reason. As my son has said many times in my book, ‘Just Behind The Door’ everything happens for a purpose, and we need to trust in the sequence of events that unfold in our lives.

Have a great few days!

Hearing is Believing!

When we experience the death of a loved one our world changes dramatically. Although the light hasn’t gone out in our eyes it is dimmed. Colors seem less vibrant, conversations less stimulating and our energy depleted. We may silently wonder to ourselves, ” Where are they? Are they okay?” Often talking about these thoughts with our friends or even family members just doesn’t work. So we keep reiterating these question to ourselves digging a deeper hole of grief that seems to engulf us. Although we may have heard ideas about the spirit continuing to exist, we struggle to wrap our minds around the concept of our loved ones being in a different dimension – heaven – or whatever label you are most comfortable using. I understand … I have walked in those shoes. I have read that the depth of our loss is directly proportional to the depth of our love. The deepest chasm we can imagine pales by comparison to our own feelings of loss. We keep thinking, “It’s not the natural order of things, someone got this mixed up, rewind!” The pain seems unbearable as we struggle to put one foot slowly in front of the other. We seek something that will help us know we can get through it – visibly bruised and battered – but still in one piece.

When I lost my son, the salve that comforted my broken heart came in two forms. First, I started reading books from other parents who had lost their child. Interestingly, many had penned these books 10 years after the loss. I get it now. It takes that long to be willingly to resurrect those gut wrenching feelings that rendered us both hopeless and helpless when it happened. Those books helped immensely. Most talked about signs, indicators of their child’s presence and all served to confirm to this bleeding heart that if these parents made it though this so can I. Signs, indicators? How do I get these I wondered a million and one times over the first few months.

The Universe responded to my heartfelt plea. The second form of help came in a delicate package from another state. Someone, an angel on earth, who changed my life. The Universe knew what I was seeking ( confirmation that my son didn’t simply disappear into the cosmos) and orchestrated a meeting with this person to help me make the connection with my son that I so desperately needed. Before talking with her my grief was so deep that even when presented with obvious signs that his spirit was alive and well, I dismissed them thinking that my mind was playing tricks on me. Through her assistance I have been able to hear from my son, in his own words for well over a decade. I decided to write about it in the book I published entitled, “Just Behind the Door.” My objective was to help others achieve the sense of greater peace and understanding that I have received.

When we write about loss, disclosing our innermost feelings and fears it can be a healing mechanism not only for ourselves but for other fellow travelers along the way. Yes, our loved ones still exists, albeit in a different form. In this case hearing is believing. I have referred hundreds of people to this person and every single time have heard how astonished they were that they were told such specific information. If you want to learn more about my decade of communication you can order a copy of the book through AuthorHouse.com. You will know, intuitively, if the book is right for you or as a gift for someone else. Let your feelings lead the way.

There is a great deal of solace achieved when we hear specific phrases or information that only our loved one who has passed on could know. It confirms to us that this type of connection is real. It lifts the heavy burden of grief off our shoulders by proving that their life was no brief candle but rather a perpetual flame that continues to burn brightly – somewhere – somehow – and is always available to give us comfort.

Have a great few days!

A Poem For Your Heart Health

I received an email recently from a wonderful person who had read my book and suggested that I write a blog that included this poem from it. She said she wanted to copy it and place it in a place where she would remember to read it daily as a soothing balm for the deep seated hurt in her heart. The Christmas holidays can be an especially difficult time for those of us who have experienced the loss of a loved one. Her suggestion made me feel that both the book and blogs are helping others, in a small way, work through this heart wrenching journey. I told myself that if even one person was comforted by the book I would be grateful. So to all of you who have felt a measure of comfort from my writings, thank you. The following can be found on page 125 of my book.

“You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she will be back, or you can open
your eyes and see all that she left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her or it can be full of
the loved that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in the yesterdays
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember only that she is gone
or you can cherish the memories that let her live on in your heart.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she would want you to do…smile, open your eyes,
love and remember the great times you had with her and go on.

You can grieve that she is gone or you can learn how to hear her because…
She is just ” Behind the Door.”

To my own family who, once again, has recently experienced the loss of a loved one who seems to have left us much too soon please remember what Ronnie told me in the book, “All is as it should be.”

Thanks again to all of you who take the time to read, remember and work so hard to move forward with grace.

Have a great few days!

Synchronicity – God/Universal Energy is at Work!

Today is the 13th anniversary of my son, Ronnie’s death. So many friends and family remembered (including my grandboys) that caused me to feel both grateful and overwhelmed. If you have gotten the chance to read the book, Just Behind the Door, you won’t be surprised by the next few sentences. The publishing house emailed me and verified that my copies (40 softcover and 20 hardcovers) would be delivered soon for upcoming book talks. Synchronicity, as defined by Carl Jung means the simultaneous occurrence of events that are meaningfully related. In other words, things happening that seem rather coincidental but have a certain common theme or effect and time. Well, once again, the synchronicity in my life continues. The books were delivered to my door TODAY, on the anniversary of his death. Thank you to God/Universal Energy and Ronnie for reiterating to me the message that unconditional love is forever.

For those of you who remember the artist, Carly Simon, she produced a song in the ’70’s entitled, “Haven’t Got Time For the Pain.” Although we would all like to believe it to be true, the reality is that certain days trigger memories of unconditional love and unconditional loss. The pain, once again, comes flooding into our consciousness. It is important to honor and hold both the pain and love in our hearts during these times. Denial of the feelings involved in loss or grief forces the hurt to bury itself deeper into our psyche. It is both mentally and physically unhealthy to keep it buried. A loss, as painful as it is, can be an opportunity for us to connect to the real truth in our lives. Our loved ones are always around us and ready to help and offer encouragement from the other side. Just remember they have 20/20 hindsight and foresight. The lyrics of Carly’s song, “I haven’t got time… room.. or need for the pain” sounds rather cold. But if you listen further to the song, it is a confirmation of everything I write about in the book. “You showed me how.. to leave myself behind …and turn down the noise in my mind… Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive…’Til you showed me how, to fill my heart with love and to open up and drink in all that white love pouring down from heaven.” When you hear songs that resonate with you, there is a reason.

I again say thank you to all of you who have been emailing and calling me after reading the book. Some of you have even written while you were still in the middle of reading it! I am humbled and thankful that it is helping so many people think about the loss of a loved in a larger context. One of the quotes from Ronnie in the book is so fitting, “Everyone needs to know that nothing dies. The spirit, the soul lives on. Love and communication continues, forever, if people will open themselves up to it.”

Let that last sentence roll around in your mind for awhile. The truth will present itself to you.

Until next time, have a loving and joyful week.