Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘synchronicity’

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed!

Over the last weeks I have been trying to finish up a biography of my son who past away in 1999. His sons are going to graduate from high school in May and wanted to know all about their Dad since they were not quite three years old when he was killed. Working furiously on the project and importing many, many pictures into the text, my computer application (Word) crashed not once but three times. Luckily, I had been told to ‘save’ the document every two or so pages and I did as instructed. When I would add another new picture it might fly off the page, land on top of another picture, refuse to be resized, you name it and it seemed to happen! Exhausted and overwhelmed by the constant computer glitches and my quickly eroding time frame I was fortunate because I had a friend to call who has more computer skills than most, a ‘can do’ attitude that just makes you think that everything will …ultimately… work out and who even offers a laugh or two along the way.

It made me stop and think about the power of friendship. There is a reason why friendship and the happiness and fun derived from it is directly related to better physical and emotional health. When the normal peaks and valleys appear in our lives it is easier and more enjoyable to have someone who is there to offer words of encouragement, excitement and who can eventually cause a hearty health cleansing laugh to erupt out of the circumstance. Our friends offer us a fresh perspective on an issue, sensible advice when requested, complete acceptance of who were are at the best and worst of times, and a listening ear. They have that magic combination of being able to listen with both their minds and hearts.

The amazing thing about true friendship is that these friends expect nothing in return! How many relationships can you think of in this way…totally selfless?

I am blessed to have a few close friends and even family members who go out of their way to offer an ear or hand at just the exact moment when it is most needed. At times, the phone rings at just the precise moment when I really wanted to talk to them. Synchronicity…probably, a blessing…absolutely! Feelings of abundance and gratitude …without question!

It is important not to take these relationships for granted. Remembering to thank them and to return the favor at a different time and place just helps us all ‘pay it forward’ and enhance the positive energy level of the Universe.

Who can you reconnect with this week just to let them know you are thinking about them? I guarantee that any amount of time it takes will be worth the effort.

Thanks to all of you out there for being who you are…simply the best!

Have a great few days!

A Perfect Example of Synchronicity!

Sometimes sharing a story does more for understanding than pages of detailed explanations. The following is a perfect example of synchronicity. A term that is complex in definition but simple in understanding through example.

As I drove up to my mailbox (one of those newly designed mail deliveries with 53 small locked boxes) I waited for two people ahead of me to pick up their mail. As I waited one person, whom I had never met before, introduced herself and began talking about her purpose for being there on this day. It seems her best friend’s son had committed suicide and she came to her winter home to support her as she goes through the grueling and gut wrenching process of burying her son on Saturday. We discovered in our short conversation many similar connections – geographical locations including states and even continents, deaths of a son, ways to support a parent who goes through such a shocking experience…just to name a few. It felt like the Universe just placed the two of us on a perfectly aligned course to meet. She said she had shivers on her arms as we were talking. I thought to myself, yes there certainly was a purpose – an unplanned event – that was designed to happen.

I mentioned to her that I had published a book on the loss of a child and it also included a section on suicide for people who experience such a traumatic event. As she looked at me with absolute surprise I knew, once again, this unintended meeting was set up by a force greater than myself. The force that Jung called Pure Consciousness or the quantum level of existence. One thing led to another and she came directly to my house and picked up three copies of my book.

What were the chances of being at the exact place at the exact time to be able to offer help to another human being who was wrestling with a profound life changing event? Remember the saying, when the student is ready the teacher comes along? We all fall into both categories of being either student or teacher throughout our life experiences.

Carl Jung, the noted Swiss psychiatrist, became fascinated with this phenomena he termed synchronicity in the early 1920’s. He defined it as the ‘appearance of seemingly random acts which have a significant meaning personally.’ Jaworski and Senge in the 80’s and 90’s also referred to this phenomenon in reference to leadership of organizations.

It seems to boil down to one’s willingness to be of service to others when the situation is presented. To choose, in effect, to momentarily set aside our personal agendas and schedules and take the time to truly listen with our hearts to someone. To do something to help another is a selfless experience of the Divine. By doing so we create a higher awareness and deeper understanding of reality and our place as servant in this incredible Universe.

Taking time to care about others in need creates the moments in life that change who we are and what our mission in this lifetime is all about. We begin to see more clearly the bigger picture of service. I want to be thoroughly used up before I leave this earth and am thankful every time I am able to add a word, ask a question or offer a word – a perspective even – that can help a fellow traveller along the way.

You might want to watch for these moments of synchronicity in your life. They will present themselves because we all have the power to make the world – one individual at a time – a little stronger in the process. We just need to be open and willing to set aside our personal agendas and adjust our time frames to offer support.

Have a great few days!

Synchronicity and a Fellow Traveler

Synchronicity is amazing and at work again! Yesterday I met a highly successful, accomplished and beautiful person who had a difficult – actually life threatening experience – to share and apparently I needed to hear it.

As she described the physical assault she had barely lived through it sounded not only frightening but outright horrendous. I was amazed that she was able to put one foot in front of the other. At first glance although she looked so very confident and put together I just kept getting the feeling that inside she was a delicate, wounded bird and I was puzzled at my own reaction. As she began to talk I understood my initial reaction better. You would never have guessed that she nearly lost her life in the attack. To add more stress and trauma in her life, the timing of the on going court system continues to keep the attack in her conscious thought – long past the harrowing experience. Listening to her story you could visibly see and feel both the physical and emotional pain she was still in. Yet, she was involved with a group and determined to help others who have lived through similar traumatic experiences.

I was able to offer a few personal references – guides on the side so to speak – that I believed could help her further with the next steps in the healing process. We know that experiencing loss in any form takes what may seem like an inordinate time to fully heal but regardless of our determination or station in life deep loss is like a deep physical wound in our body. There are no short cuts in the healing process – it may take years to fully heal.

You may think our meeting was not particularly unusual or synchronistic but just read the following events that needed to be aligned to get the full picture.

She had changed her appointment due to a conflict in schedule
Still struggling a bit with jet lag I had not made an appointment until a few hours before when in desperation I realized I needed to get in. I kept thinking it would be impossible and not to even try to get an appointment but then in my next breath I would feel an urge to pick up the phone. When I did call I was absolutely astounded to get an appointment immediately (this process usually takes at best a week to get in)
Our times were 15 minutes apart and lasted for 2 hours so we had time to talk
She was physically moved from her original seat and seated next to me
The owner of the shop introduced us – not the usual procedure
Her life story involved tremendous loss of people, safety and well being
I have written a book and blog twice weekly on those topics

We had the gift of time to talk deeply about patterns of human behavior, prayers of protection, life lessons and moving on after tragic events occur in our lives. Our connection was immediately apparent and to verify it the Universe gave her a sign, goose bumps on her arms continually as we talked. In fact it was so noticeable that she commented on it. The energy exchanged left us both feeling happier, more energized and ready to tackle tomorrow. When it was time to leave, after exchanging hugs, I could feel my jet lag seemed better and I noticed that she left the shop with an actual smile on her face. It feels good to be used for a purpose higher than yourself.

Driving home I kept thinking about the amazing way the Universe just seemed to remove all of the normal roadblocks to make this connection happen. I could visualize in my mind the movement of times and events – rather like moving puzzle pieces around – just to make this meeting of the hearts happen and I smiled – I was humbled, indeed! I had met a fellow traveler along the way and was able to lend a listening ear and loving heart momentarily to her life. What greater gift can there be?

Have a great few days!

Are You Truly Listening to Others?

When we think of learning, the usual picture that flashes in our minds is a classroom with a person in front helping us process new information. But actually, we are all teachers to each other in a larger sense. For instance, how many times has someone come into your life even for a moment (a sales clerk, a colleague or friend) who said something that gave you pause and made you consider something in a different light. Did it cause you to stop and evaluate your circumstance? If you have met someone that momentarily, rocked your world by their comment did you stop, listen and process that certain piece of information – the gift – that they shared with you? Did you look for the value in the exchange or were you quick to dismiss it? Remember, they did not have to take the time to communicate with you but they did. They may have even risked saying something you might not have wanted to hear. However, they cared enough to give you their time and opinion for a reason.

Many times we dismiss an important opportunity for learning out of fear. We sometimes resist and insulate ourselves from valuable input because we don’t want to hear something that might alter our perception of ourselves or others. However, when you allow yourself the gift of focused listening, these messages can help you in so many ways. I believe these types of messages come from the Universal Energy/God source. Hopefully, you were in the right mental place and point of receptivity to truly hear the particular message. This type of communication, the one that stops you in your tracks, are not simply an accident. When Einstein would ask people, “What has become clearer to you since we last met?” He served as a model for us to think deeper and process through events in our lives. To become more aware of the interconnectedness of all energy. We are constantly learning with our heads and our hearts in this marvelous and challenging journey called life.

In my book, Just Behind the Door, my son on the other side has told me, “Mom, it is all about love.” The Universal Energy/God, of which we are all a part is pure unconditional love. When we really work at modeling that in our own lives wonderful things happen. We truly learn to love ourselves (a prerequisite) and then to see the divinity in others. Accepting without judgment but simply with an understanding that we are all a work in progress is as essential to our souls as air is to our lungs. It causes us to lose the fear that can be a stranglehold for us and become more fully engaged in life. We see the future in more positive, optimistic terms. We relax in the knowing that, “All is as it should be.” People want to be around us because we give them energy, acceptance and love.

When you truly listen, the Universe has a way of delivering all the answers that you are seeking. The even greater news is that sometimes the learning is presented to us before we even realized we needed it! How exciting is that?

Have a great week!

Synchronicity – God/Universal Energy is at Work!

Today is the 13th anniversary of my son, Ronnie’s death. So many friends and family remembered (including my grandboys) that caused me to feel both grateful and overwhelmed. If you have gotten the chance to read the book, Just Behind the Door, you won’t be surprised by the next few sentences. The publishing house emailed me and verified that my copies (40 softcover and 20 hardcovers) would be delivered soon for upcoming book talks. Synchronicity, as defined by Carl Jung means the simultaneous occurrence of events that are meaningfully related. In other words, things happening that seem rather coincidental but have a certain common theme or effect and time. Well, once again, the synchronicity in my life continues. The books were delivered to my door TODAY, on the anniversary of his death. Thank you to God/Universal Energy and Ronnie for reiterating to me the message that unconditional love is forever.

For those of you who remember the artist, Carly Simon, she produced a song in the ’70’s entitled, “Haven’t Got Time For the Pain.” Although we would all like to believe it to be true, the reality is that certain days trigger memories of unconditional love and unconditional loss. The pain, once again, comes flooding into our consciousness. It is important to honor and hold both the pain and love in our hearts during these times. Denial of the feelings involved in loss or grief forces the hurt to bury itself deeper into our psyche. It is both mentally and physically unhealthy to keep it buried. A loss, as painful as it is, can be an opportunity for us to connect to the real truth in our lives. Our loved ones are always around us and ready to help and offer encouragement from the other side. Just remember they have 20/20 hindsight and foresight. The lyrics of Carly’s song, “I haven’t got time… room.. or need for the pain” sounds rather cold. But if you listen further to the song, it is a confirmation of everything I write about in the book. “You showed me how.. to leave myself behind …and turn down the noise in my mind… Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive…’Til you showed me how, to fill my heart with love and to open up and drink in all that white love pouring down from heaven.” When you hear songs that resonate with you, there is a reason.

I again say thank you to all of you who have been emailing and calling me after reading the book. Some of you have even written while you were still in the middle of reading it! I am humbled and thankful that it is helping so many people think about the loss of a loved in a larger context. One of the quotes from Ronnie in the book is so fitting, “Everyone needs to know that nothing dies. The spirit, the soul lives on. Love and communication continues, forever, if people will open themselves up to it.”

Let that last sentence roll around in your mind for awhile. The truth will present itself to you.

Until next time, have a loving and joyful week.

Synchronicity and ADC Conference

The last two days have been remarkable. I attended an International Conference on After Death Communication in Phoenix. This was a world class conference that, by pure synchronicity, I heard about only two weeks before in a ten week class that was coming to closure. A requirement of the class I was taking was to present a final product. My friend, taking the class with me, suggested I present my book since it would be published within a few weeks and included the principles learned from the class.

The weekend conference included speakers from the medical profession, including practicing cardiologists, other medical doctors, neuroscientists, parents who had lost children, authors, healers and counselors. People from as far away as Australia, Canada,The Netherlands and England as well as Hawaii, California, New England, and many other states had traveled to attend. Here I was living only 15 miles away from the conference location! I was in awe with the sessions and the many people I talked to during the weekend. The thought kept coming to me, I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time, to hear about this conference and be able to register in time. What were the chances?

What exactly is that force that causes you to be in just the right place and time? Synchronicity. Carl Jung explained it as an experience of two or more events that are apparently unrelated and unlikely to occur together by chance, but actually do occur, together, in a meaningful way. God/The Universal Energy was working its magic for me, yet again in my life. A very simple way to understand the idea of synchronicity is to think of a time when you were thinking about someone and the phone rang and it was that person. Or, you may have been thinking about a person and then received an email or actual card (a rarity in our fast paced world) from them.

The first speakers, Robert Charles Hunter, a retired CEO from PepsiCo Food Systems, who is married to the actress Diane Ladd, talked about his book Curious Journey, The Energy of the New Age. Diane talked about her life in movies and theatre as actress, writer, director, producer and her book, Spiraling Through the School of Life. (She is also the mother of Laura Dern, the popular actress of stage and screen who was in the immensely popular movie Jurassic Park among many others.

They both talked about the topic of synchronicity. They reiterated a belief I share, which is, that there are no coincidences in life. Things happen for a reason – a purpose that we may not understand at the moment but will in time.

For those of you who are dealing with a loss – any type of loss. Just think about that point for a couple of days. Things really do happen for a reason. We don’t have to like it, we can even rail against it, but there was a reason it happened – whatever it was in your life –
that caused you to stop and reassess your life’s journey. The event may have been small or huge – even life changing for you. Just think about the possible reasons it may have happened. Don’t hurry your thinking. Let the idea mull around in your mind for a few days. I will come back to the topic in my next blog on Wednesday. In the meantime, see what you can come up – it is worth the mental effort!

Have a great few days!