Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Affirmations’

Be the Change!

Have you ever noticed the immense amount of time, energy and money that people devote in an attempt to make themselves happier, healthier or more or less something? The wealth of books, magazine articles, week-end warrior workshops and therapy sessions available boggles the mind. It seems at least twice a year a new method workshop (usually with a 3 letter title for effect) and a cost of ONLY a few thousand dollars pops up to change your life. Wanting to be in on the latest and greatest thing people then flock to sign up being convinced that they too will experience nirvana. Many of these new approaches tout that they have found the Holy Grail for answers to self improvement and if you just follow their advice or activate the steps in their program you will be effortlessly transformed. This is usually followed up with pictures or videos of people (often celebrities) with smiling faces showing us how perfect their lives have become as they encourage us to follow their example. Not wanting to be left behind we rationalize ….. ‘well, it worked for them’ but did it really? If it were only that easy…

To successfully make a desired life long change requires that we have finally reached a point of not just unhappiness with our present situation but true and complete dissatisfaction with it. In other words it’s like a whole truckload not a small wheelbarrow of dissatisfaction because we know deep down that change is hard and it’s going to require a lot from us. There is no magic wand to make it easy. Only when we accept the fact that we want something so badly that we are willing to put up with the effort to achieve it will we muster the needed strength and follow through to achieve the change we seek. Our thinking begins to change and we no longer accept the existing condition as inevitable but make a conscious decision to recalibrate our thinking, finding a new truth for ourselves to achieve the change we so desire. The real trick is that we have to become sick and tired of being sick and tired before we will actually choose to make a desired change and follow through with it.

Change requires both our emotional and rational mind working together to allow us to understand and accept the why behind the change we want to make and then allow ourselves to feel, visualize and accept why it is warranted. When we have analyzed the why even momentary slip ups are taken in stride. We see and feel the bigger picture and know we will get there. As we begin to see our progress we think to ourselves. ‘I can really do this!’ and it motivates us to continue as greater confidence seems to flow through our veins.

Just think, a new you started when YOU decided, on your own time frame with your own belief, understanding and strength in yourself to do something different with your life. The self help books, workshops or therapy may have served as a motivator or incentive but it was YOU being you that made all the difference. You are both the noun and verb of the mindset and that is powerful!

After we have achieved our goal and arrived at a point of appreciation for the new us we may be tempted to try to convince others of their need to make a similar change (I liken this to a form of proselytizing) but we must remember that timing is everything and that few, if any, people really want to be told what to do. Remember they have not adorned us with the title of Master and Judge in Charge. Yet, through our own attitude and behavior we can serve as a positive example that whatever the mind can believe it can achieve.

Having achieved your desired change, congratulate yourself daily …. you deserve it!

Have a great few days!

Synchronicity Works!

I have often been asked how I come up with the blog topics I write on since they are so varied. The answer is quite simple really – I wait for the spirit to move me (no pun intended). A word, event or person just seems to trigger a thought and the rest is history. Following this logic, the topic today is on synchronicity. On three separate occasions within the last few days I have experienced it. The message was clear to me after the third experience … time to talk about this amazing process called synchronicity.

The psychiatrist, Carl Jung, is credited with identifying this concept in the 1920’s. In 1952 he published a paper entitled ‘Synchronicity – An Acausal Connecting Principle.’ In it he explained that ‘just as events may be connected by causality, they may be also be connected by meaning.’ This paper followed an epiphany in 1951 when Jung stated that Einstein’s thought about the relativity of time and space encouraged him to explore their psychic conditionality. Jung believed that ‘a person was both EMBEDDED IN an orderly framework and was the FOCUS OF that orderly framework through a spiritual awakening.’ Today, we hear about the power of positive energy, the intervention of grace, using positive affirmations, goal setting and tuning into our intuitive sense. These concepts all have one thing in common – learning to tap into a higher source of energy for the greater good of self and others. Let me give you a concrete example to further explain the power of synchronicity.

I made an overseas flight reservation on a foreign airline and had been encouraged by a loved one to apply for a frequent flyer number. Guilty of procrastination, I did not do so. Imagine by surprise when the airline sent me an email weeks later stating that the flight had been changed and I needed to call them. I tried three times to get through and was put on hold for 30 minutes each time before being automatically disconnected. My frustration mounted. That just doesn’t happen right? Then it came to me … apply for the frequent flyer program so that I would receive points for the trip. When we ‘hear’ this gentle nudging from the Universe it’s always best to follow through on it. I was finally able to connect with the airline regarding the change and at the same time give them my newly acquired frequent flyer number to receive points for the trip!

The lesson in this story is clear. When something just isn’t working there is a reason. Be patient and listen. What is your intuition telling you? Follow it for there is always a reason. As my son has said many times in my book, ‘Just Behind The Door’ everything happens for a purpose, and we need to trust in the sequence of events that unfold in our lives.

Have a great few days!

Celebrate You!

Can you take just a moment today and truly appreciate the uniqueness of you? Just think about it. Your talents, abilities, attitude and interests combined with the knowledge you have gained from your unique life lessons cannot be replicated by anyone. You are the only living person on earth with this rare combination! You are unique unto yourself- that’s something to recognize and celebrate.

When you smile, it is from the heart … when you laugh your energy is infectious … when you speak it is with the calm honesty of truth. You can create enthusiasm in people merely from your presence. When you listen you absorb and reflect rather than merely respond. You engage your whole self in the process of interacting at this moment in time realizing there will never be another opportunity exactly like this one. Your unique ability to understand and empathize with others makes the world a better place – one person at a time.

You can see possibilities in others even when they are blind to them. When you encourage someone to believe in their own inherent ability to handle a situation – sometimes beyond their wildest belief in themselves – you become an agent of the Universe as you help them fully manifest their own strength and capability. Your encouragement is perfectly timed and comes from an intuitive sense of knowing that this person or this place was the place to go for now.

No one on earth can make things happen like you. When you realize something isn’t working you summon from your deep reservoir of strength a knowing – a direction – that is needed for positive change and you work to make it a reality.

You are a one-of-a- kind genuine article. No where can you find the exact same things going on it anyone’s mind, soul and spirit as are going on in yours right now. A million puzzle pieces have combined to make you unique and the mold was used only once…

Like an extremely rare gem you have such inherent value and power that it cannot be codified, qualified or even counted by others. But it can be recognized by yourself as a mighty force that allows you to do or become whatever you can dream. You seem to have a magic genie in your pocket that brings to you whatever is foremost in your thinking.

When you begin to see yourself as the unique being you are, you recognize the importance of learning to love yourself.You now see yourself as so much more than the mere outside shell. You recognize a presence – a loving spirit – inside you that is all powerful. It was a special gift from the Universe – given to you the day you were born. Today you have chosen to unwrap it! When you truly love yourself it becomes the most powerful tool you will ever need in life. It enables you to overcome against all odds and directs you to your own true North.

Tomorrow is a new day with both opportunities and challenges. You will face them with a deeper sense of strength knowing that your unique self is exactly what is needed at this moment in time – 99 and 9/10 percent guaranteed!

Have a great few days!

Design Your Life!

This blog is the third in a series on how to achieve greater happiness and well being in your life by taking control of what you want. The previous two blogs on the topic are in the archive section on this website. As I have said previously, the first step is making a list of what you NO LONGER WANT in your life and the second list is made up of things you DO WANT in your life. This approach works when you take the time to FEEL the positive results and see yourself actually achieving your goals when you are writing them down or reviewing them daily. We have the right to determine what will make us happier through the gift of free will. All we have to do is use it! We can choose to make things happen or let them happen to us – it all depends on our mindset – our positive or negative beliefs that surround us about self.

Each of us has decided on specific lessons to learn in this lifetime. But did you know that we also have the right to choose how we prefer to learn them – the tough way or the easier way. Well, we do! The first way is through continual trials and tribulations until we just want to give up or the second way is by developing a deeper understanding of and appreciation of the energy we possess simply by being a student of the Universe. The first way is powered through negative energy and produces greater stress in our lives but the second way is through a more positive view by seeing ourselves as a co-designer of our life experiences. Either way the lessons will be presented to us. Remember, the Universe first whispers, then speaks and will eventually shout to get our attention. Why not choose to learn the lesson earlier rather than later – the easier way rather than the harder one? It makes sense to me!

Through the use of goal setting or affirmation attainment, as it is sometimes called, we can actually become co-designers in our life. We can create the most positive and effective ways to learn our individual lessons when we start by making lists of our Don’t Wants and Do Wants in our lives. We are giving the Universe a very important signal that says, ‘This is what I want in my life and I deserve it,’ because you do! We become empowered when we see our list of Wants manifesting in our lives.

There are a few steps that you must really get into to change your life. They don’t take long if you focus on the process. First off, it is important for you to BELIEVE that it really is possible to attain whatever you want in your life. Next, after making your list of Wants it is important to live as if you have already attained those goals. In both your mind and your heart, starting right now, right here, to feel how great it is that you have realized the goals you have written down. See yourself getting that promotion – view your new title on the door or letterhead. Really get into it and feel how your life has changed. See people congratulating you on your promotion. If one of your goals is to receive more money in your pay check, close your eyes and view your pay stub, see the larger number, feel how great it is to be able to pay off more of your bills and put a little aside as savings. You have the power to manifest any goal if you believe in yourself and the process. The Universe is just waiting for you to tell it what you desire – with positive emotion – to present it in your life.

Goal setting is basically proactive energy at work. You can achieve your greatest desire when you believe in the power of positive energy to truly can make things happen. Each time you take a few minutes to FEEL how great it is achieving your goal it is another positive message to the Universe. The Universe will respond in kind. Less than 10% of people even think about goal setting and less than 5% take the time to write down and visualize their goals happening in their lives. It is all about believing in your own power to shape your life. I know it works!

When you think about those people who seem to be able to handle the challenges that appear in their life and just keep moving forward you realize they have developed the ability to see themselves winning, achieving their goals and moving forward. You hear positive statements coming from them. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to them but a splendid torch which they CHOOSE to burn brightly. They are perfect examples of what positive energy can manifest in our lives. They accept responsibility – never blaming others – but see any challenge presented to them as an opportunity to learn from it – and they simply do so without drama or worry. They realize that both drama and worry are negative emotions and there is no room for negatives in their lives.

Each of us can CHOOSE to create the life we want by starting to see our glasses as half-full rather than half-empty, making our lists of Don’t Wants and Wants and bringing forth the positive emotional feelings that we know we will feel achieving our goals. The steps are simple once you believe in yourself enough to make it happen!

Have a great few days!

What Are Your True Feelings?

When is the last time that a memory took your breath away? Let’s take a trip down Memory Lane. Can you remember five people, places or things that when you think about them brings a smile to your face from the inside out? This is not a trick question but intended for you to reconnect with the feelings you had at those moments, the positive energy you had that simply made you stop and exhale at the wonder of it all. The importance of remembering cannot be overlooked. It shows you that there were times in your life when your positive FEELINGS brought more positives into your life. You have done it before and can do it again.

Those things that elicit positive – take your breath away feelings – means that you were connecting with your life’s purpose on this journey. There is a huge difference between simple thoughts and deep feelings. The latter moves you toward accomplishment and connections. When you experience the feelings of gratitude, love, delight, joy or merely that warm fuzzy experience that causes you to know that at that moment something special, unforgettable is happening it reinforces the thought that our life lessons can be learned from a position of joy and gratitude not struggle. We may have been taught that life is intended to be, in fact, a struggle. Maybe not. It is possible to learn what we came here to learn through a more positive feeling type of approach.

We may have read somewhere to simply focus (think) about something we want in our lives and through the magic of affirmations it will come to us. Yet, there is something much more powerful and important that merely thinking about it. The secret is in the FEELINGS that you get when you visualize what you desire. FEELINGS cause the energy which works like a magnet in the Universe to bring you what you desire. The affirmation may be the ‘car’ but the FEELINGS are the motor!

Remember the saying, ‘garbage in – garbage out?’ That is another way of saying that what you think about most often with feeling is what you are attracting back to you from the Universe. Negative energy begets more of the same just as positive energy attracts more of its own. It sounds simple but it is really quite complex.

How often are you unwittingly focusing on what you don’t have, or the lack of something in your life? Again, the FEELINGS behind your thoughts act like a magnet to the Universe. If you are constantly thinking about what you don’t have or can’t achieve the cycle of lack in your life will continue with a vengeance. Do you really have time to play the ‘poor me’ card? Sadly, I think more people than we think spend their mental and emotional energy feeling ‘lack.’ You can recognize them by their walk, talk and attitude. Without words their life view speaks volumes.

Let’s reverse the ends of the magnet and turn to the positive rather than the negative end and see what happens. But first, we must take the time to think about – honestly evaluate – how often we are in a mindset set of ‘life’s not fair’ or ‘if only I had’ or even worse ‘it will never happen to me.’ You might want to ask a friend, whom you can trust to be brutally honest, for input. Do they hear you as a ‘glass half full’ type? Oftentimes, we are too close to the forest to see the trees so we need someone that we can trust to help us. The proof, however, is in the result. If you feel your life is lacking – money, friends, relationships, accomplishments it’s time to do a gut check and be honest about your FEELINGS. Once you accept that your negative feelings may be holding you back, you are ready to begin a journey toward greater joy and happiness. Ultimately, you will experience so many more moments that take your breathe away that you will become eternally grateful for the opportunity to learn your own life lessons through happiness not struggle.

In my next blog I will talk about the specific steps to take to change your thinking but in the meantime take the time and first step to honestly assess your internal dialogue.

Have a great few days!

Greater Happiness

Every day we live on this earth plane gives us the potential to achieve greater happiness. No matter what our conditions are at the moment our attitude determines our altitude. It really is an inside job! If you reflect on today, what did you see, do, or say that brought greater happiness into your life or the life of another person?

Sometimes, a short period of reflection gives us the opportunity to think about a ‘do over.’ Maybe we were a bit too abrupt when responding to someone or a tad judgmental regarding someone’s situation. In retrospect, we realize that since we don’t walk in their shoes we really can’t completely relate to or understand their issue. The best we can offer is empathy. A listening ear as they process through the latest challenge in their lives. Showing concern for others is an elixir for our own happiness as well.

Think about someone you know that just seems to be happy most of the time. What do they know that you don’t know? My guess is that they realize they are responsible for their own happiness and success and that it comes from being true to themselves. They let their heart rather than ego lead them. These folks take things in stride and accept the fact that challenges happen to everyone. Yet they choose to see past the current issue and have faith that it will be resolved over time. Their mental energy is spent doing, creating, and believing. Fear, anger or regret are not things they choose to accept in their lives.

What can you do tomorrow to empower yourself to achieve a happier, more successful life? Have you thought about a goal that you want to achieve? The Universe will deliver to you what is foremost in your thinking. There really is power in the practice of positive thinking. Your free will is just waiting to kick in to manifest your affirmations and desires. You just need to turn on your mental switch that says, ‘I can.’

Have a great few days!

You Decide

Don’t you just love a day when everything just seems to work! You may get to your job or meeting early, enjoy a conversation with someone that gave you food for thought and learned something new or saw a different perspective. You seem to accomplish more than you ever expected and at the end of the day when you reflect back it with a smile on your face you think to yourself, today was a GOOD day.

Other days, however, seem to be more challenging. It may start out with misplacing your keys, causing you to run late and get stuck in the rush hour traffic. At this point you are feeling so frustrated you might even say something to someone that, in retrospect, you wish you hadn’t said. The whole day just seems to be off and as you begin thinking about the issues they become magnified in your mind. By the end of the evening you may be thinking, well that’s my life, if I didn’t have bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all! You are exhausted as much by what happened but, more importantly, from the amount of time and energy you spent ruminating about them.

In the book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, there is a worthwhile suggestion by Bob Proctor that might help you the next time your day starts out a bit off track. He suggests that to stop the cycle of negative thoughts that you have about events from going out into the Universe and magnifying the negative effect back to us, we stop ourselves in mind midstream and think. Since we are all made up of energy, each time we allow ourself to be in a negative mindset, the Universe ‘hears’ the message and delivers more of the same back to us.

Basically, you interrupt the cycle of negative energy by shifting your thought frequency. Proctor suggested that we make a mental list of ‘secret shifters.’ Those are things that can change your feelings and attitude in a minute and put gratitude and love back in you thoughts. Maybe it’s a certain song or a special memory that brings a smile to your face or a absolute howl of laughter from deep inside you. It could even be the thought of a future event or holiday that you have planned. (There is a logical reason why people plan way in advance for a fun break in their schedule). Do anything that can short circuit the negative flow of energy from your mind and body which causes you to catastrophize, and get you back on a more positive track. We don’t have to have an entire day of bad. Maybe we could try to reduce it down to an event or moment until we reduce those negative times to such a short period that you don’t ruin the rest of your God given day.

I really do believe that anything our minds can believe we can achieve but it takes mind and heart work. I’m not talking of simply a wish but something so important to you that you are willing to plan and work to achieve it. Once you have this goal in your mind, any set back you experience in attainment is simply viewed as temporary. I choose to believe in myself and the beautiful gift of tomorrow. If I have a problem or two along the way, okay, life happens. But I refuse to allow those events to ruin the gift of today that I have received from the Universe.

Are you with me on this?