Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Synchronicity and ADC Conference

April 15, 2012

The last two days have been remarkable. I attended an International Conference on After Death Communication in Phoenix. This was a world class conference that, by pure synchronicity, I heard about only two weeks before in a ten week class that was coming to closure. A requirement of the class I was taking was to present a final product. My friend, taking the class with me, suggested I present my book since it would be published within a few weeks and included the principles learned from the class.

The weekend conference included speakers from the medical profession, including practicing cardiologists, other medical doctors, neuroscientists, parents who had lost children, authors, healers and counselors. People from as far away as Australia, Canada,The Netherlands and England as well as Hawaii, California, New England, and many other states had traveled to attend. Here I was living only 15 miles away from the conference location! I was in awe with the sessions and the many people I talked to during the weekend. The thought kept coming to me, I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time, to hear about this conference and be able to register in time. What were the chances?

What exactly is that force that causes you to be in just the right place and time? Synchronicity. Carl Jung explained it as an experience of two or more events that are apparently unrelated and unlikely to occur together by chance, but actually do occur, together, in a meaningful way. God/The Universal Energy was working its magic for me, yet again in my life. A very simple way to understand the idea of synchronicity is to think of a time when you were thinking about someone and the phone rang and it was that person. Or, you may have been thinking about a person and then received an email or actual card (a rarity in our fast paced world) from them.

The first speakers, Robert Charles Hunter, a retired CEO from PepsiCo Food Systems, who is married to the actress Diane Ladd, talked about his book Curious Journey, The Energy of the New Age. Diane talked about her life in movies and theatre as actress, writer, director, producer and her book, Spiraling Through the School of Life. (She is also the mother of Laura Dern, the popular actress of stage and screen who was in the immensely popular movie Jurassic Park among many others.

They both talked about the topic of synchronicity. They reiterated a belief I share, which is, that there are no coincidences in life. Things happen for a reason – a purpose that we may not understand at the moment but will in time.

For those of you who are dealing with a loss – any type of loss. Just think about that point for a couple of days. Things really do happen for a reason. We don’t have to like it, we can even rail against it, but there was a reason it happened – whatever it was in your life –
that caused you to stop and reassess your life’s journey. The event may have been small or huge – even life changing for you. Just think about the possible reasons it may have happened. Don’t hurry your thinking. Let the idea mull around in your mind for a few days. I will come back to the topic in my next blog on Wednesday. In the meantime, see what you can come up – it is worth the mental effort!

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

1 Comment

Tagged with:

The Unanswered ‘Whys’ in Life

April 11, 2012

Have you ever asked yourself when facing a tough time in life, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Possibly the better question for me to ask is, “Have you ever NOT asked yourself that question?” When we face difficult life challenges, loss of our loved ones or other heart wrenching issues, it seems our first response is simply, WHY. We are thinking beings who are just trying to understand. Maybe by understanding the why, it will make more sense and help us process through the hurt. Being human we seek a rational understanding of events; especially when they appear to be random acts of devastation in our lives.

I have been in search of the meaning of life since age 26. I’m not kidding here. Maybe I am just a slow learner when it comes to the big question of why are we here on this planet – at this time – and for what purpose. The why is the trigger for me. It has been a slow process of discovery. Just when it seemed like I was close to a deeper understanding, a new and more difficult challenge would appear.

At times I wanted to say to God/Universal Energy, “Really, are you seriously throwing this at me now – or again.” I truly did think those thoughts, more than once. I guess I was just feeling overwhelmed, undervalued and sorry for myself. After licking my wounds yet again, I would finally regain my sense of what I had discovered as truth and move through the latest challenge, nursing my bruises back to health.

This is what I have discovered through my years of searching for the meaning of the “whys” in my life.

1. There is a source of LOVING power in this Universe greater than ourselves.

2. It is available to us, at any time, simply by asking for help. ASKING is the key. One has to humble oneself to ask.

3. There really are no “random acts of devastation” in life. As my son, who has passed on, has repeatedly told me, “Mom, everything is as it should be.”

4. Everything I have lived through has had a lesson in it. Once I truly learned the lesson, it did not reappear in my life.

5. I chose these lessons to work on in my life to develop greater compassion, patience and understanding.

6. Most of all, I have learned that life really is fair. When we look at the lives of others and think they got a better deal – think again –
they have their own lessons they are working on which are as difficult for them as our lessons are for us. Unless we walk in their shoes we cannot fully understand.

Does any of this resonate with you? I would love to hear from you.

Have a great rest of the week!

Category:

General

2 Comments

Tagged with:

Ben’s Bells and Hope for Tomorrow

April 8, 2012

Happy Easter!
Today is viewed by many as a day of renewed hope and belief in something bigger than ourselves. It seems fitting to give tribute to a project of hope that was started by a mother who tragically lost her young son, Ben, at age 2 on Good Friday, March 29, 2002. She began making small bells to hang as her own personal journey through healing. Since many people had been there to help her through the most difficult time in her life, she wanted to ‘pay it forward.’ She choose to help people heal their grief by giving them a visible reminder of hope and kindness. Ten years after her son’s death, this mother brought 1,000 bells to hang on trees, along walking and hiking trails and even in parking lots around the valley in Arizona. Twice a year they are also hung in the Tucson area with the accompanying note attached, instructing the person who finds them to take them home and simply spread kindness in the world. What started out as one mother’s emotional response to her loss has spread across Arizona and the world. Recently, a mother who had lost her daughter years and years ago and unable to move through the grief stage decided to take a walk and just happened to find one of Ben’s Bells with the note. She needed a sign, something, at that exact moment, that would help her begin the arduous process of moving on.

Those of us who have experienced loss – in any form – know that moving on takes a great deal of time. Sometimes, it feels like your heart will never heal or be the same as it was before your loss. I understand, I lost my son. When we are the recipient of a random act of kindness, such as the bells, it gives us an opportunity to realize that so many others have also suffered a loss in their life and have eventually found a way to move through it. It can give us the little needed push, at the precise moment, when we are most receptive, to help begin to heal our broken hearts. Ben’s Bells have given thousands of people added strength to face tomorrow through the sound and sight of a bell. They serve as a visible reminder to all of us to have hope and belief that our loved one’s life and death had a purpose. As my son has said, repeatedly throughout my book, “Mom, everything is as it should be.” Our loved ones did not disappear into the Cosmos. They are, in fact, around us and offer their unconditional love and even reconnection when we are ready. Something exists in our Universe that is all about love. Call it God/Universal Energy or whatever label you choose for the force greater than yourself, that it always with us, especially during our time of greatest need.

Category:

General

1 Comment

Tagged with:

LETTING GO MEANS TO FEAR LESS AND LOVE MORE

April 4, 2012

Spring break and 3 teenage grandboys – it just doesn’t get much better than that! Watching the boys grow physically, mentally and emotionally is such a gift. I know that my son (their father) who is on the other side is watching them and thinking about how proud he is of them. I also know grateful he is to their mother for raising them to be such great kids because he has told me! A waitress in a restaurant commented to me about how mannerly the boys were as compared to most teenage boys she served. I have heard this from people before but I still swelled with pride. How grateful I am to be their “GrandMary!” I’m sure letting the boys drive to another state, alone, was not easy for my daughter-in-law. It reminded me of a poem that has been so meaningful over the years that I wanted to share it with you.

TO LET GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow
learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another
to learn to be him or her self.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging
all the outcomes but to allow others to determine
their own destinies.
To let go is not to be less protective, it is to permit
another to face reality.
To let go is not to dominate, but to be willing
to let things happen.
To let go is not to betray the past, but to have faith
in the future.
To let go means to fear less and love more.

Creators Syndicate, Inc.

Have a fantastic week!

Category:

General

3 Comments

Tagged with:

All Forms of Loss Take Time to Heal

April 1, 2012

We have all had challenges or as I prefer to call them, “opportunities” in our lives that can change it forever. We never know from one day to the next when a phone call, email or person will reconnect with us and tell us something that seems to just rock our world. We question, we try to process and yet the answers seem to be out of reach. Recently, I talked with a dear friend that I thought had just a perfect marriage. Common interests, achievement level, values in life – even humor and appreciation for each other had been evident. Or so I thought. If you would have asked me to name a couple that seemed perfectly matched, I would have thought of them. When I heard that their marriage was in trouble, at first, I simply refused to believe it. Not them, not now, not ever. Yet, here I was on the phone listening to a wonderful person who was shocked, bewildered and maybe even a bit angry. Puzzlement flooded her thinking. “It came out of the blue,” she told me. As I thought about this conversation, I thought about how many other people (myself included) have experienced that same scenario in their lives. Naturally, our minds question the circumstances searching for a reason, an answer. Often, we feel we are left with more questions than answers.

I have noticed a pattern, however, that I think is worth mentioning. All of us are subject to life altering situations of one degree or another. No one seems to avoid them. It seems that when we reflect back a year or two after a loss, for example, one of the real lessons for us was how we responded to it. Did we allow it to redefine our life into one of just existing but not living? Or did we think to ourselves after the initial shock wore off, I don’t know how but I will get through this and my life will continue to have purpose. It may take time to heal my broken heart but it WILL HEAL.
Loss of any kind has so many emotions in common. Healing your heart takes time. Knowing you CAN heal it is essential to moving on. Having someone to talk to is important. You need to voice your hurt, anger and disbelief. A dear friend will help you do that without rushing in to offer solutions. Because, sad as it may sound, sometimes solutions cannot be immediate. You must work through the loss over time. It may also be helpful to remember that to let go is not meant to betray the past, but to have greater faith in the future.

Category:

General

Leave a comment

Tagged with:

The Grace of Being Present

March 28, 2012

Today, I attended the annual Hospice luncheon to thank the volunteers for their service. As a Hospice volunteer we all receive much more than we give to our patients. A smile, a hug or just listening to them as they relive the significant parts of their lives, gives them an opportunity to be heard and appreciated. The meaningful parts of their memories that are forever etched into their minds deserve to be heard. We listen and we share. Some times the patients want to hear about our lives since they are home bound and are still choosing to live life, albeit, through their outside connections. The time we spend talking and listening is invaluable. A Hospice patient (nearing her 91st birthday) told me that she misses her ‘wheels.’ I was not only astounded but touched by this wonderful women’s sharing of her emotions. She felt a loss and was willing to share it with me. The training we go through to be a volunteer is both enlightening and uplifting. When we realize how life begins to close in on those who are in the last stages of their lives, we can be so thankful for our own ability to go out and be immersed in the living, breathing Universe.

The minister, at the meeting today, after talking about our willingness to listen, gave a non example of listening. It made me think about the occasional lack of attention we may give to others in our fast-paced world. He mentioned that he was in a coffee shop recently and there was a grandmother, mother and daughter sitting inside enjoying their beverages. What he found so astounding was that for 20 minutes each of them had their cell phones out and were either talking or texting others. He said there was literally no conversation going on among the three generations.
How sad, I thought to myself. So often a simple phone call to someone you care about is uplifting and gives you the opportunity to make a difference in their world.
Technology is an incredibly important part of all of our lives. We would be lost without it. The trick, if seems, is to keep a balance between being efficient and effective. It helps when we remember the importance of the human voice and the resultant energy that is shared between two people. Their is no substitute for it. Who knows, there may be someone who just needs to hear your voice and receive your energy to make it through another day. Just remember, no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Think about it and pay it forward.

Category:

General

2 Comments

Tagged with:

Changing Your Path and Your Life

March 25, 2012

I am finishing a 10 week class this week. Since my final project is now finished it is time for celebration! It is also time for reflection on the many things I have learned. I will be sharing some of the thoughts with you on this blog in the future. Included in the material for this class was the following. It is entitled, A Simple Story and written by someone who has chosen to remain anonymous. If you think about your life lessons when reading it, things – lessons – will jump out at you. As Einstein used to say to those he had not talked to recently, “What has become clearer to you since we last met?” I hope this story brings greater clarity to your life.

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
But it takes forever to find my way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in, again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
It isn’t my fault.
But it still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in…it’s a habit…but now my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.

Category:

General

Leave a comment

Tagged with:

Are you Inclusive or Exclusive?

March 21, 2012

As fellow travelers in life, how often do we stop to think about connecting with others to help them? Loss, hurt, pain, denial and avoidance are themes that seem to continue to surface in all of us from time to time. When we listen, without judgment to others, we may be surprised to hear that they have walked on a similar path. It can be reassuring or disarming to realize that, as human beings, we are much more alike than originally imagined. Although we are each a unique individual, we share incredibly similar lessons.

When we experience a loss that rocks us to our very core, our behaviors, attitudes and viewpoints frequently change. I talk with so many people about loss and have come to realize that they seem to fall into one of two camps. They either choose to pick up the shattered pieces of their life and become more inclusive after the initial wound is healed or, sadly, they retreat into themselves and become more exclusive in an attempt to shield themselves from further hurt.

The difference is significant. The energy around us can either serve to heal us or debilitate us. Energy, in itself, is neutral. It is our thinking that causes it to become a positive, life giving force or a negative drain on our daily existence. Life is meant to be lived. Yes, even after experiencing the greatest loss of your life, you need to reengage and keep going. I have been there and talk from experience. You will never be able to protect yourself from unforeseen events but you can live today, this moment, for all it is worth. You can choose to close and lock the doors in your mind to others or open the doors and let your heart welcome in their healing energy. Think of the power and energy from the sun. Even with that intense power, it cannot get through a shuttered door. We need the energy from others to heal from loss. Set a goal tomorrow to open the doors of your mind and heart and welcome in fellow travelers. Take the time to reach out to someone. You will be glad that did!

Have a great rest of the week!

Category:

General

Leave a comment

Tagged with:

Abundance

March 18, 2012

I have talked about the importance of positive thinking and the need to check, even redirect, our thinking when we become aware of any negative thoughts. You simply refuse to give them any of your mental space or emotional energy. There is nothing to be gained in seeing our cups as half empty. It robs us of energy and enthusiasm for tomorrow. The steps to goal setting that I have blogged about recently emphasized the importance of writing out goals in the first person, present tense ( I am… I have…). Equally important is to act as if we have already attained our goal. You want to feel positive emotional energy when you send your goal out into the Universe. Remember, it will come back to you, just like a boomerang with the same amount and type of energy you originally gave to it. Basically, you are telling the Universe/God that you are claiming ownership of the goal so you will have a better, more rewarding, life. The reason behind this approach is to harness the energy of the Universe/God. This energy is there for the taking. The only thing we must do is to remain in a positive expectation and state of mind. Any goal can be achieved by apply the principle of “ask and you shall receive,” as long as you believe. The Universe/God simply expects us to do our part by positively tapping into the energy source.

The topic of abundance is important to consider in goal setting. The Universe has unlimited energy and will deliver to you whatever is foremost in your thinking. Your life today is a result of your past thinking. We may want to blame others or circumstances but the truth is that we created our existing circumstances from the energy of thought that we surrounded ourselves with – no more, no less. Are you happy with the result?

Most of us have not been taught that the world is our oyster, but it truly can be, once we learn to control the energy in, around and through us. Goal setting is a way to get your thinking aligned in a positive way to realize a better, more fulfilling life.

I am absolutely convinced that abundance in our lives is our inheritance. Goal setting helps you tap into this abundance. Nothing but the lack of faith in the possibility can keep good from you. Abundance in any form is your birthright. Claim it and make it yours!

Category:

General

Leave a comment

Tagged with:

Gratitude and Goal Setting

March 14, 2012

We have all experienced loss in our lives. It may have taken the extreme forms such as losing a child or spouse. Regrouping after any loss, including divorce, can be difficult but it is not impossible. In the last 3 blogs I wrote about the steps in goal setting for an important reason. We must be strong enough to go on with our lives. We will never forget our loss but we must force ourselves to see any and all positives that still exist in our lives in order to heal. When we write a goal in the first person, present tense we place ourselves in a higher level of vibration. The energy of the Universe/God WILL respond. It is important to use positive statements. Phrases such as, “I am not…” or “I am no longer troubled by…” must be reworded in the positive, for example, “I am… or I have all peace and abundance around me.” Remember the energy of the Universe will respond to POSITIVE statements. Like attracts like.

The attitude of gratitude is a critically important step in attaining your goal. I know it may be difficult to feel gratitude if you have just recently experienced a loss that has, temporarily, stopped you in your tracks, but it is necessary. Think of all you still have as a human being. Think of the family and friends that have been there with you throughout your experience. Before letting your feet hit the floor in the morning think about 3 things for which you are grateful. By doing this, you are drawing more positive energy to get though the next day. Slowly but surely, you will begin to see hope for the future. You will have found the renewed energy that seemed to have disappeared. I talk from experience.

My wish for you is that over time you will begin to understand that the loss was part of a bigger plan of the Universe. Regardless of how many times you think, “maybe if I would have been there, done this, kept him on the phone longer,” the loss would not have happened. We all go through these feelings but the truth is, as my son has told me from the other side, “Mom, all is as it should be.”

P.S. My book is VERY CLOSE to publication! I will give you the specific information on how to order as soon as it is available. I hope you will find my story of the many losses in my life to be inspiring and it will give you courage and hope of a better tomorrow.

Category:

General

2 Comments

Tagged with: