Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘goal setting’

Make Your List of ‘Don’t Wants!’

Is it time to make positive changes in your life? Do you feel weighed down just facing another day? If so, there is a way to change it IF you are ready. There are actually specific steps you can take to achieve a happier, more fulfilled life which are totally under your control and quite easy actually. The first step, as counterintuitive as it may sound, is to make a list of what you DON’T want. Sound negative? Actually it’s not. It is simply a way to help you focus and analyze what the absolute non starters are for you at this point. Many of us have been taught to be grateful for whatever comes into our lives since each thing has a lesson attached – that’s partly true – everything does offer a lesson. But we do have the right to choose what will make us happy and be able to manifest it. Unfortunately, we often begin to accept the worry, challenges and temporary road blocks as simply something we have to ‘get through’ while we subconsciously wait for the other shoe to drop. That is all negative energy! Stop!

That’s why the first step in this process to harness the energy necessary to change your life must begin by you being totally honest with yourself and making a list of what you don’t want in life. The Universe delivers to us whatever is foremost in our thinking. If you are constantly thinking about lack (as in waiting for the next shoe to drop) the Universe delivers more of the same to you. However, once you send out the intent of what you don’t want in your life you have taken the first important step in stating your case, your expectations, of what you choose to live with and what you will no longer tolerate. It’s not magic but simply learning to harness the power of positive energy in your life. If you think ‘lack’ in reference to anything in your life – immediately change it into something you are grateful for – let’s get positive energy working here and rid yourself of the ‘lack’ mentality. Fake it ’till you make it if you have to!

Let’s take the example of money. How many times have you heard yourself worrying about not having enough money to pay the bills let alone do something special? As you are worrying about it, the mindset of ‘lack’ becomes so ingrained in your psyche that you become overcome with thoughts and feelings that reinforce your lack of not only financial security but other important things in your life. Worry is like a negative magnet that you send out into the Universe. Feeling the magnetic draw of that emotion, the Universe, ever the dutiful servant, matches that energy and gives you even more of the same. You become convinced that life is meant to be a struggle and believe you will never get ahead. Usually, the next thing to follow is the thought that you might as well buy something – a latte or whatever and charge it – because you will never get out of debt anyway. Really? The debt spiral has begun and you are in it. You are better, smarter than that thought!

This is exactly why the first step to take is to make a list of what you refuse to accept – your ‘don’t wants’ in life. Using the example of money, for instance, the first item on your list could be that ‘you don’t want to be financially strapped any longer’. Take a moment if this item resonates with you and let’s take it to the next level. Think how you will feel when you arrive at a place where you just know that all will work out just as it is suppose to with your finances and you can relax in knowing you’ll be okay. Feels good doesn’t it? The positive feelings you experience will draw – remember the magnet – more positives to you. Your opportunities will expand as you harness the power of a more positive mindset. Think you have one now? Maybe you do. Look around and listen to yourself, be honest, is there usually a ‘Yes but…’ in your response to life?

Your list of ‘Don’t Wants’ can be as short or as long as you choose. You have the power to change anything in your life if you desire the change badly enough. We are not put on this earth to struggle, worry or accept something that is not good for us or even simply ‘good enough.’ We have a right to have a great life! We simply have to claim it. Are you ready? This is a process, remember, and it will only work if you choose to work with it. It is not effortless but it is easier than you may think!

Step 1 is stating exactly what you no longer will allow in your life. The Universe is all
knowing. It will get the picture quickly. Think about a few things you no longer want to accept in your life. Write them down. Feel yourself pushing them out of your life once and for all. You are becoming the author of your own book and this is chapter one. Your book is about three things: what you will no longer tolerate, what you design your life to be and most importantly a belief that you deserve it. Remember, you have the power of the Universe behind you. That’s big! There will be more ‘chapters’ of your book to follow but for now, make that list of ‘Don’t Wants’ read it aloud and know that you are declaring your right to change your life – this works!

Stay tuned for my next blog as we move into further creating the life you CHOOSE to live. It’s just right around the corner!

Have a great few days!

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How is Your Flight Control?

An article recently about the rescue of a young peregrine falcon can teach us a great deal about rescue and survival. It seems there were 4 chicks that hatched last month in a nesting box high atop a bank building in a local city. One of these chicks apparently, in his first attempt at flying, hit a window of a local police station. (I can’t imagine the headache he had for awhile). According to local veterinarian the bird was “naive … physically his tail was not real long so his flight control was not the best” basically his flight feathers were not grown out enough to sustain flight. Typically, the flight lessons continue by the parents as they teach the young chicks how to survive and hunt for food.

Many of us were blessed with parents or a supportive individual who taught us how to fly. A person who was with us to help build up our self confidence as we matured into adulthood. Just as the parent falcons, available to guide us and help us learn to fly on our own.

Now as adults we may no longer have the guiding influence of this person. We may find ourselves flailing rather than flying, at times, with false starts, reboots or challenges that seem to wear us down and require the positive support of another. When our flight control just doesn’t seem to be working what can we do? Our friends or family can serve as our ‘veterinarian’ in these times and be nearby to offer comfort until we regain our balance. Sometimes we need to ask them directly and at other times they seem to sense that we need a temporary helping hand and just jump in because they care.

What forces of ‘gravity’ are holding you back on your life flight? What is your plan to deal with them? What goals have you set to help you learn to soar through the strong winds of resistance and turbulent air space we call living to achieve your life goals?

Everyday life presents us with examples after examples that demonstrates that no one has it easy and that life amounts to developing the ability and tenacity to withstanding the challenges or injuries we may incur but to keep on attempting to fly until we have mastered our life lessons. It is easy to become disenchanted or overwhelmed with issues. No one said life was going to be easy, or was for the faint of heart. But regardless of any challenge you face it is worth the effort to keep trying to fly.

Just like the once endangered peregrine species we can find help through a support group or listening ear and use time to heal our own broken wings when we accept the fact that our life flight was not supposed to be easy, calm and without event but planned to be a series of experiences that stretch us, make us downright uncomfortable or unhappy at times yet throughout it all offers more joy than sorrow, more rewards than regrets.

It is important to remember there is always a ‘veterinarian’ in essence ready to give any of us their time by offering physical or mental ‘first aid’ from their kit of human
kindness. All we have to do is to be strong enough to ask.

Have a great few days!

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Living in the Present!

What if we woke up each morning and after thinking for the first minute or so what we are grateful for in our lives we then thought, ‘I want today to be one of those days I will never want to forget.’ It would put a new spin on our expectations for the day. It doesn’t have to be something big but just something – the look in someone’s eye, the response you receive from someone that causes you to want to remember the moment. It would help to remind us of our importance in the Universe and the fact that life is unfolding just as it is supposed to – one person – one action at a time.

Even if the saying sounds a bit trite, we do know at a deeper level that happiness really is an inside job and no one can do it for us. Sometimes it just takes a small adjustment in our thinking to see the magnificence of the rose rather than worrying about the thorns but it’s not only possible but easier than we might think. Bob Proctor one of the writers in the book,’The Secret,’ talked about ‘secret shifters’ that each of us has which can instantly change our feelings and thus our energy frequency. For some it may be a song, a memory, being out in nature, reading a book or talking with a friend. The list of possible energy shifters is limitless. Yet, we each know what works best for us. When we choose to use an energy shifter we are living in the present. We are recognizing that we need an ‘energy adjustment’ and know just what to do to make it happen at no cost! We realize that life is not happening to us but through us. That’s a powerful state of awareness.

Lao Tzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Those three sentences really sum it up. The ultimate gift, the beauty of our entire existence evolves from our thinking. Are we stuck in the past, living in the present or worried about the future? Planning for the future is important and can be made even more powerful when we let our plans peacefully incubate in the back of our minds once they are formed. Living in the present and knowing that the future will be exactly as it is supposed to be allows us to breathe more deeply which in turn attracts even more positive energy to us and helps to make our plans a reality. That sequence of thinking – planning – then letting our plans incubate while living in the present – eliminates the regrets of the past or fear of the future that often slip in, like an unannounced visitor, as we go about our daily lives.

Could this be the day that we choose to begin to fully live in the present? It’s worth a thought and to me might just be the perfect beginning of the rest of our lives!

Make it a great few days!

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The Rest of Your Life

Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. What plans, what aspirations do you have for the rest of your life? Will you allow yourself to be controlled by fear of the unknown? Or will you look in the mirror and realize, as my son has told me many times from the other side, “all is as it should be.” It takes time to really process that thought. Even though we may have experienced loss, disappointments and challenges in our lives everything really is ‘as it should be.’ You may be thinking, ‘ but why did I have to experience this.. What did I do wrong?’ You did nothing wrong. You are simply living out your prebirth contract to learn certain lessons you have chosen. Remember the thought… ours is not to question only do. It’s true, questioning, even railing at the injustice that you feel you have experienced will not change things. In fact, it will only made you less ready, less of who you are, to face tomorrow. Show me a person who has not experienced loss and I will show you a person who has never really lived. It doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to be absorbed into your very soul.

As the Taoist say, ‘we are constantly being born to the future and dying to the past, yet we remain what we are. In the whole of history there has never existed a single person whose conduct was always perfect. Understanding this, the wise don’t try to be perfect.’ There is no fear in dying only fear in living an unfilled life.

So tomorrow, look at yourself in the mirror and say, ” I can do this.” – whatever it may be – because you can. You are part of the unity of this incredible Universe. You are a part of the Divinity of all that ever was and all that ever will be. Be thankful that you have learned the particular lessons that have been presented to you. You have survived, you have learned and will thrive from both the lessons of yesterday and today. They have made you even stronger for tomorrow. Make it a great one!

Have a great few days!

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Abundance

I have talked about the importance of positive thinking and the need to check, even redirect, our thinking when we become aware of any negative thoughts. You simply refuse to give them any of your mental space or emotional energy. There is nothing to be gained in seeing our cups as half empty. It robs us of energy and enthusiasm for tomorrow. The steps to goal setting that I have blogged about recently emphasized the importance of writing out goals in the first person, present tense ( I am… I have…). Equally important is to act as if we have already attained our goal. You want to feel positive emotional energy when you send your goal out into the Universe. Remember, it will come back to you, just like a boomerang with the same amount and type of energy you originally gave to it. Basically, you are telling the Universe/God that you are claiming ownership of the goal so you will have a better, more rewarding, life. The reason behind this approach is to harness the energy of the Universe/God. This energy is there for the taking. The only thing we must do is to remain in a positive expectation and state of mind. Any goal can be achieved by apply the principle of “ask and you shall receive,” as long as you believe. The Universe/God simply expects us to do our part by positively tapping into the energy source.

The topic of abundance is important to consider in goal setting. The Universe has unlimited energy and will deliver to you whatever is foremost in your thinking. Your life today is a result of your past thinking. We may want to blame others or circumstances but the truth is that we created our existing circumstances from the energy of thought that we surrounded ourselves with – no more, no less. Are you happy with the result?

Most of us have not been taught that the world is our oyster, but it truly can be, once we learn to control the energy in, around and through us. Goal setting is a way to get your thinking aligned in a positive way to realize a better, more fulfilling life.

I am absolutely convinced that abundance in our lives is our inheritance. Goal setting helps you tap into this abundance. Nothing but the lack of faith in the possibility can keep good from you. Abundance in any form is your birthright. Claim it and make it yours!

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Gratitude and Goal Setting

We have all experienced loss in our lives. It may have taken the extreme forms such as losing a child or spouse. Regrouping after any loss, including divorce, can be difficult but it is not impossible. In the last 3 blogs I wrote about the steps in goal setting for an important reason. We must be strong enough to go on with our lives. We will never forget our loss but we must force ourselves to see any and all positives that still exist in our lives in order to heal. When we write a goal in the first person, present tense we place ourselves in a higher level of vibration. The energy of the Universe/God WILL respond. It is important to use positive statements. Phrases such as, “I am not…” or “I am no longer troubled by…” must be reworded in the positive, for example, “I am… or I have all peace and abundance around me.” Remember the energy of the Universe will respond to POSITIVE statements. Like attracts like.

The attitude of gratitude is a critically important step in attaining your goal. I know it may be difficult to feel gratitude if you have just recently experienced a loss that has, temporarily, stopped you in your tracks, but it is necessary. Think of all you still have as a human being. Think of the family and friends that have been there with you throughout your experience. Before letting your feet hit the floor in the morning think about 3 things for which you are grateful. By doing this, you are drawing more positive energy to get though the next day. Slowly but surely, you will begin to see hope for the future. You will have found the renewed energy that seemed to have disappeared. I talk from experience.

My wish for you is that over time you will begin to understand that the loss was part of a bigger plan of the Universe. Regardless of how many times you think, “maybe if I would have been there, done this, kept him on the phone longer,” the loss would not have happened. We all go through these feelings but the truth is, as my son has told me from the other side, “Mom, all is as it should be.”

P.S. My book is VERY CLOSE to publication! I will give you the specific information on how to order as soon as it is available. I hope you will find my story of the many losses in my life to be inspiring and it will give you courage and hope of a better tomorrow.

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Visualize the Goal

We have talked about goal setting to achieve something you really want in your life. The last two blogs centered around monitoring and redirecting our negative thinking. To achieve your goal you must believe it possible. Negative thinking can derail your ability to achieve your goals. In fact, negative thinking is the direct result of a lack of faith. Think about that for a moment. You need to believe, to have faith in the possibility of a positive outcome to achieve any goal. There is absolutely no room in your mind to entertain negative energy! Buddha said it clearly, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”

To achieve your desired goal you must be able to visualize how you will feel, act and think differently having achieved it. This may sound like you are pretending but just stay with me on this one. The Universe/God is made up of energy. We are all, in fact, made up of energy. Our energy attracts like energy. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Think of a battery. You must connect the right end of the battery to the force to achieve the connection. It is the same in our minds. When we visualize the goal we want to achieve we are connecting to the positive end of the battery in the Universe. Think of the goal you want to achieve and believe that the Universe is simply waiting to deliver it to you. How will you feel having achieved this goal? How will your life be better?

Write the goal you want to achieve in first person, present tense as if you have already attained it. For example, I am… or I have… and then finish the sentence by saying, and I feel grateful that I have attained it. You are basically telling the Universe that you know it can deliver. The energy is there for you to tap. You simply have to believe it is your right to tap it.

After you have written out your goal if you have a question, just email it or post your question on the blog and I will be happy to respond.

On the next blog I will talk about being grateful. There is no substitute for gratitude in our lives. Have a great week!

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The Choice is Yours

Have you ever wondered why some people “appear” to have more good fortune than others in their lives? Watch how they think and what they say. You may be surprised to learn that they are actually manifesting what they want through a form of goal setting. Even given trials and tribulations in their lives, they just know that everything will work out. They have a confidence that can be felt. Just being around their energy seems to cause you to feel better, happier and more in tune with life. These folks have learned that they really do have the power to make things happen. When a challenge is thrown at them, they recognize it but force themselves to see past it. They do not blame others, or perseverate on it. They immediately redirect their energy to find the positive in it – the lesson they needed to learn.

When we read statements such as, “Ask and it shall be given unto you.” These folks live it, breath it and know it in their soul. They have learn to capture the power in the Universe/God and demonstrate another incredibly powerful statement, “It is done unto you as you believe.”

Mastering the power of goal setting can be taught to anyone who truly desires to create a better life for themselves. I have taught goal setting for years and live my life with the absolute belief that I have the ability to control what I put out into the Universe and thus what I get back from it. Think of a boomerang – whatever you throw out will come back to you, often with greater intensity. If you put out negative thoughts about yourself or others, the Universe will confirm your thinking and be sure to deliver it to you!

In following blogs I will work through the steps in the goal setting process. In the meantime, monitor your thoughts and see how often you find yourself in the energy zapping area. You will be surprised.

Let me know what you discover about your thinking over the next few days and I will build the blogs on goal setting around them!

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