Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘gratitude’

Individualized Curriculum Plan for Life

What if …just what if… we are each living our life here on earth with our own individualized curriculum plan of life lessons? Can you visualize carrying around a textbook with your name on it and reviewing the table of contents to find it is uniquely designed just for you?

When we find ourselves struggling with the same things over and over in life we wonder …why, why is this path I’m on so terribly difficult? We can’t seem to get past it and on to chapter two – we’re stuck in neutral. The challenge just continues to resurface in different shades or versions until one day we drop the demand, the resentment even, that things be different and ask for help in understanding the true lesson of acceptance. The classroom of life delivers exactly the lessons we need at exactly the right time to give us an opportunity to become wiser, more loving human beings.

Often people ask how they can discover what their lessons are – what are they supposed to be learning. The answer is simple, the getting there more complex. If you look at your life at this point what is the absolute most difficult thing for you? What makes you want to grit your teeth and demand that things be different? Bingo! Somewhere in your response is the show stopper – the big lesson – that you have chosen to learn. When we stop thinking that life is unfair and demanding things be different we are on the path to acceptance and acceptance is key. When we start searching for what WE need to learn the ‘aha’ comes flooding into our consciousness. Pride, envy, fear, control, resistance all become things of the past and we move forward with humility and gratitude.

In our individualized life plans we are given the teachers (when the student is ready the teacher comes along) our very own individualized curriculum and even testing out opportunities along the way. In fact, these plans are so individualized that we can take all the time we choose to learn our lessons. We can resist and extend the length of learning time or we can ask the Universe for help while searching in ourselves for what we are doing to continually get results we do not want. Each of us has the power to overcome incredible odds when we stop blaming or making excuses and move to a position of, ‘It’s me not thee.’

Is it time to trust yourself and the Universe enough to let go of the strangle hold of control and your demand that things be different? If we take a deep breath and admit that we feel powerless at times but have faith that all will work out just as it is supposed to something magical happens and we find greater strength in knowing that everything is going to be okay. We gain a renewed sense of confidence that regardless of the challenge we can make it through and learn from it. What if…just what if…we turn the kaleidoscope ever so slightly and search for the opportunity for learning in the challenge. Rather hard to wrap your mind around but worth the effort.

Everyday and in every way we are growing and becoming what we have chosen to be…fully present, at peace with ourselves and others and grateful for the opportunity to tap into the Universal energy at any moment simply by humbling ourselves and asking for help and deeper understanding along the way.

Have a great few days!

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Life is 650,000 hours!

According to Bill Bryson in his book, ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything,’ the average human being lives about 650,000 hours which amounts to a little over 74 years. Of course this is simply an average but it does give a person pause when you think about our life span in that context – reduced to the concept of hours. All of a sudden every hour we spend living in the past or worrying about the future takes on a whole different perspective. One hour gone …how many more do we have left?

Each of us is carrying a load of rocks from our past in our invisible backpacks. If we perseverate on them the rocks can become boulders and cause us to slow down and even bend under the weight. The question is do we have the extra time and energy to continue to carry around anger, regrets or disappointments from the past? Or is it time to decide the next hour, day and week of our life will be better than ever because the clock is, indeed, ticking.

A simple practice of training ourselves, immediately upon awakening, to think about one thing to be grateful for and put a smile on our face we start our day off with more physical and emotional energy. It doesn’t cost a thing but will reap tons of benefit. It also helps us bring our ‘a game’ to the moment, the hour in which we are living. You may be thinking to yourself that you’re not a morning person. You don’t have to be. Simply getting into the practice of waking up with a thought of gratitude and a smile can be a game changer for the day. You still don’t have to talk to anyone until you have had that first cup of coffee or tea. This practice just seems to help get our own internal house in order for the new day. After all, you are still alive and have another chance to realize your purpose and make a difference in life. That, in itself, is a big reason to be happy.

It’s a matter of intention and self awareness. The next time you pass a mirror glance at it and honestly decide what your face is showing to the world. Does it project warmth, positive energy and welcome others in? Can you see a smile in your eyes? If not, the good news is that you can decide to change. Since it takes less energy to be positive than negative it seems like a no brainer to me. Yes, it takes honest self reflection and a bit of effort but we can change just about anything in our lives if we so desire. No cost involved – just a choice to become more aware of our own happiness index and do something about it.

Living is not resisting and merely existing but rather evolving by learning, growing, and polishing the rougher edges of our personality. We all have them. We can become happier, more energized and the person we always wanted to be when we have the courage to take stock of our lives and choose to do something about it. Self improvement is time incredibly well spent. It fuels the body, heart and soul.

Today you can choose to make a difference in life – one step at a time- starting with yourself. Now that is something to get excited about!

Have a great few days!

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Voice of Hope

Every once in a while something just takes your breath away. A dear friend sent this to me and I thought that you might enjoy and appreciate it as much as I did. Often we miss the small miracles which are all around us – listen and enjoy.

Revised link:
http://www.staged.com/video?v=NtK

Have a great few days!

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The Tree of Gratitude

Gratitude comes in different forms. Let’s visualize the levels of gratitude as the three main parts of a tree. The beautiful canopy of leaves that shade us from the sun is the gratitude we feel when something good happens to us or a friend or loved one. These daily experiences come in all types and variations just as the many leaves on a tree. All are significant, purposeful and give us a sense of thankfulness and appreciation for life. They give us hope for tomorrow.

The second form of gratitude could be visualized as the powerful trunk of the tree. It keeps the tree stable and allows it to withstand pelting rain, strong winds and heavy snow. This is the type of gratitude we feel from an unconditional belief that God/The Universe doesn’t make mistakes. We know in our hearts that everything that happens (or doesn’t happen) in our life is for a reason. We accept that we live in a purposeful Universe and that anything that happens can be seen as a message or lesson from the Universe. The hidden gift in this level of gratitude is in our ability to seek the purpose behind the experience and learn from it. Whether the ultimate result was what we wanted to happen or not we know it is important to search further to glean the lesson from the experience.

The highest form of gratitude can be compared to the actual life sustaining root system of the tree. It is the true thankfulness we feel when we remember that our entire being is a gift of love from the Universe. We were created perfectly with all the gifts, talents and love we will ever need. We just have to stop chasing that elusive butterfly of happiness and let in land in its rightful place and home on our shoulder. We know the answers to the questions we are asking or the right response to the challenges of the moment. The type of happiness that results from this form of gratitude is life transforming. Just as the root system of the tree remains the strength of life for the tree, this deeper level of gratitude is our root system of authentic, never-ending happiness. When we accept that living a life of love, happiness and peace is our birthright it frees us, allows us to breathe more deeply and face life with a smile from the inside out. We have chosen this life we are living to learn our own unique lessons and to make the world a little better place by being in it. We can do all this an more when we face our tomorrows with the strength in our belief that we are a part of an incredible energy field of love, designed to be happy and confident that we have all that we need to be successful.

Today is the perfect day to start believing in your inalienable right to live a life of happiness, joy and love. You deserve it!

Make it a great few days!

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Gratitude, Grace and Love

Life is temporary for all of us. We have chosen our expiration date and various lessons for reasons known only to ourselves. The commonality I see in all the lessons is gratitude, grace and love. There is no better way to see these attributes demonstrated than to help those less fortunate. For many, circumstances and challenges seem to pile up and yet they seem to be able to see beyond and believe in a better tomorrow. These people recognize the importance of living one day at a time and are such positive examples of grace. They have so little in material possessions and yet they have boatloads in gratitude, and love. The various charitable organizations exist to lend them a hand as they continue to face the struggles in their lives. Maybe those less fortunate have chosen to live their lives to teach us to remember who we are, to learn what inspires us and to find our purpose in the things we can do for others.

Whenever I pass the bell ringers for the Salvation Army that we see outside the stores during the holiday season I stop and put something in the red collection buckets. Today at one of the big box stores a woman was sitting and ringing the familiar bell. As I was searching in my purse to get to my wallet she simply said, ” Thank you!” She had no idea what amount I was going to offer but her gratitude came shining through with her smile. She went on to tell me that of 30 people walking pass her maybe one would stop and drop something into the bucket. I was shocked. I know that times are tough financially for all of us but would giving a dollar or even a few coins to this worthwhile organization be too much to ask when we realize that it goes directly to someone in need?

I see this same ‘attitude of gratitude’ when I make my runs to Goodwill to drop off things I no longer need. The appreciation and gratitude on the faces of the workers once again comes shining through. I asked a man at Goodwill the other day what time the drive though drop off closes. He responded, 6 P.M. but explained that he is there every night until 9 P.M. so I could just go in and get him and he would gladly unload my car for me. I though to myself, once again, what a positive, uplifting attitude! If I tried to define gratitude I wouldn’t need to use words but simply use a picture of these two individuals. No matter what we have or do not have it really is about gratitude, grace and love. It really does make the world go ’round.

Have a great day!

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Happiness is an Inside Job

Listening to a webcast yesterday, I was hooked from the first statement. The moderator (Lisa Garr, the host of the Aware Show) said, “Did you know the number one goal people have worldwide is to be happy.” Then she added a shocking statistic, when responding to a survey on personal happiness, Nigerians ranked number 1 with the happiest people and the U.S. ranked 46 out of the 50 areas surveyed. Researching this further, I discovered that Nigeria has a per capita income of $2,748. The people of this country live on $1.25 -$2.00 per day. Health care, life expectancy even access to drinking water in the rural areas are major challenges dealt with on a daily basis. Yet, they are happier? Why?

Robert Holden, a British psychologist has been running a course on happiness for over 15 years. He explains that when we look OUTSIDE ourselves for happiness it is our ego controlling our thinking. For instance, the thought, ‘I will be happy when…’ ( I get a better job, a new boss, more money, etc.) is conditional happiness that doesn’t last. If you, by chance, achieve one of your “wish fors” by habit you will simply replace it with the next thing on your mental want list and feel unhappy, unsettled once again. Funny how that works. We are never at a loss for our next want. This approach keeps us locked into a thinking pattern of lack rather than abundance. We focus on the negative energy involved in what we don’t have causing us to feel lack in our lives rather than on what we do have which brings the positive energy of abundance to our tables.

Maybe the Nigerians do not live in a constant state of want but rather accept what they have with a belief in themselves and a higher power, feeling gratitude for simply being able to live another day. Sounds deceptively simple, yet their happiness ranking is number 1. They must be doing something differently than we are to achieve that ranking.

We each have the DNA of Divinity in us. Being happy, regardless of our circumstance is something we can achieve if we recognize the root cause of happiness. We were born happy – a gift from the Universe. Somewhere along the way we began comparing ourselves to others and accepting negative messages or experiences in our lives as truth. We may have lost our happiness – our belief and confidence in ourself – along the way. Our egos may have gotten involved and we began judging ourselves and others and the cycle of unhappiness began. Something in our lives from then on just felt a bit off.

Let’s return to the place where we were early in our lives, a place before life happened to us, a place of self acceptance. You are on your own unique path and learning the lessons you have chosen to learn in this lifetime. You don’t need to be more or less of something. You are perfect in the image of the Divine. When you think about it the Divine Energy that created you doesn’t make mistakes. The Energy made you perfect in every way so that you could learn the lessons you have chosen to learn this time around. You are learning, growing and becoming the person you wanted to become. Once you accept yourself, unconditionally, for who you really are – a spiritual soul in a physical body who is on their own unique path of learning, you experience happiness from the INSIDE and that can’t ever be taken away from you. It is not something to be bought, achieved or acquired. In other words, happiness truly is an inside job.

It may take time for these thoughts to take seed. I visualize these ideas like a feather. They are not something to be grasped at but rather to let settle into your outstretched hand or mind as you think about them over time. True happiness – the kind that brings a smile to your face for no apparent reason at all – will come to you once you accept the thought that the DNA of Divinity is in you and remember that the Universal Energy/God does not make mistakes.

Have a great few days!

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A Flower Grew Overnight

Yesterday was ‘Octoberfest’ in Sun City Grand located in Surprise, Arizona and I had rented a table to display my book, Just Behind the Door. I knew it would be a long day but a good one since I would have the opportunity to connect heart to heart with people who had experienced a loss. The eyes of a person are the window to their soul and just looking at the eyes of those who came up to the table let me know where they were on the grief scale toward ultimate healing. Some, after 5 or 7 years were still stuck in the cycle of ‘why did this have to happen.’ Anger, denial and disbelief can be paralyzing emotions. They can freeze frame your life and cause you to become simply a shadow of the person you once were. One woman gently guided her friend over to my table and said, ” You need to talk with her.” What an act of unconditional love and concern for her friend, I thought to myself.

When we are finally able to heal and accept the loss that has happened in our lives and realize that the Universe doesn’t make mistakes, it opens up a deeper level of seeing and knowing. A level of peace envelopes us and we are able to continue on with our own life lessons.

A follow up from someone I talked with yesterday appeared on my email this morning. A gentleman had lost his wife in a traffic accident. They were simply walking, enjoying the experience when hit by a car. In an instant, it changed their lives forever. This spring he went out to water some rose bushes and he said in his email, “I looked down and saw in the hot, dry, barren soil next to the roses a most beautiful white (petunia or pansy) flower with a pink and purple “butterfly” design in the center. It was on a small plant about 3 inches high… We had never planted this type of flower in our garden before… Just the day before I had tended to this tiny garden patch and I never saw any plant like this there. In amazement I asked myself, ‘how did this plant get there …and overnight!”

He took a picture of the plant and forwarded it to friends, had it framed and was gracious enough to send the picture on to me with his email. He accepted the sign with gratitude and love which opened his level of consciousness to receive even more of these messages that are heaven sent. I have had similar experiences and know that birds, the wind, and other environmental factors carry seeds from one location to another. However, when a plant appears overnight (and in this desert environment) to me, it is a sign from our loved one that they are thinking about us and wanting us to live our lives to the fullest.

As we recognize these signs with gratitude we allow ourselves to become more in tune to seeing these messages from our loved ones as a reassurance that, all is as it should be. The psychic, John Holland was taking about messages Friday on a webcast. He emphasized, once again, that the more open and accepting of the belief that it is possible for our loved ones to give us signs from the other side the more you will receive.

We are, after all, simply energy and we know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed in form. The physical body may be gone but their soul energy remains. No wonder, then that our loved ones on the other side can send us these messages. They may be pennies, butterflies, flowers or many other things but they are meant for us. Enjoy your next ‘a ha’ when you see it – it is a gift from your loved one just for you.

Have a great few days!

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Greater Clarity in Life

It is said that when a person is near death they have a greater clarity of purpose as they reflect back on their lives. We are also told in our Hospice training that people die as they live. The first time I heard that I was a bit puzzled. Now, a couple of years into my volunteer work it has become clearer to me. I have the opportunity to hear this clarity first hand as I listen to them relive the important moments in their lives. What I hear is about love of family and friends and the times when something happened that just took their breath away. It’s about whether they feel they made the world a little better off by being in it. Basically, it is all about gratitude for being a part of this experience we call life on planet earth. I don’t hear people worrying about how much they have accumulated or how much, in real dollars, they are worth. They seem to realize at this life changing time in their lives that what we do and think on a individual level really does affect not only ourselves but the entire world. Their hindsight is, indeed, 20/20. They seem to just know that we are all made up of energy and what we think and speak about most often comes back to us triple fold. Our thoughts really are the key to life and open or close all doors for us. If there is a yearning from these wonderful folks, it is to help the world understand the importance of loving others and lending a hand to someone in need. I am so fortunate to be in this classroom of life called the Hospice experience. It makes living that much more meaningful. You can see first hand that the entire world really has a very deep energy connection.

Our lives can be about so much more than just getting by or getting ours. Do you know of someone that has recently gone through a life transition or is struggling? If so, did you take the time to show them that you are concerned about them. If you don’t know what to say, that’s easy… simply, ” I care and I’m here for you,” is enough. It could be the lifeline they need at that precise moment to make it through another day.The Hallmark people are right, it’s never too late to show someone how much you care. Sooner or later we will all be at the end point in our lives on earth and will see with greater clarity what our lives represented. Let it be about compassion, gratitude and love. As I said in my book, love is the Alpha and Omega of the Universe.

Have a great few days!

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We Die as We Live

In addition to being a retired educator and author of the book, Just Behind the Door, I volunteer for various charities. One of these charities includes being a Hospice volunteer. Some people say to me, “Oh, that must be hard, depressing. I could never do that.” I tell them that when you are with people that realize their time is close, the real meaning of life comes through as they let down their ego and just communicate from their heart. To me, working with a patient gives me joy. It is not something I think that I HAVE to do but rather something I really CHOOSE to do. I look forward to seeing them on my regular weekly visits. Toward the end, they tell you from their heart what they think about their lives, what has been important to them and even things that they see clearer now. What a gift these wonderful people are to me.

The remember the joy in their lives. They are grateful for even the smallest gesture. Interestingly, even those who originally did not espouse a particular religion or belief become more conscious of their closeness to the Divine Energy/God. You can see it in their faces. At first, they want to know about world events, about your life and other connections to the outside world. As the months tick off and they realize they are getting weaker they want to talk about what the end will be like for them. Although their relationship with others is very important to them, they want to reflect on their own lives. As a volunteer you become their life line to the outside world and, ultimately, to themselves. The few things that are left that can make them happy are simple; food, books, writing notes to their friends, and most importantly, listening to them as they remember – with gratitude their life and what they have learned on their journey. They dare to look at you and ask, “What will the end be like for me.”

We are trained to see watch for the gradual progression in these wonderful souls. During the training many things made an impact on me. One of these points, in particular, however, stands out. We are taught that people die as they live. When I first heard that I had to think about it for some time. Now, as I have worked with quite a few of these patients it has become clearer to me. We really do die as we live.

Think about that in reference to your own life. It can be a life changing moment when you take the time to consider it.

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Divine Virtues

This weekend I attended an amazing international conference and wanted to share some of the outstanding information and insights I was fortunate to experience. Robert Schwartz is a researcher and author. On Saturday afternoon he conducted a session on divine virtues and life challenges. There was standing room only for this break out session! I imagine that his next book will include these virtues with the accompanying exercise. He suggests we use this information to help us get to a deeper understanding of the lessons we have individually CHOSEN to work on in this life time. Analyzing your own life lessons just makes the learning easier. I will give you my interpretation of the definition of each of the virtues and what you can do with them. It will take two blog entries to synthesize this information. Since the exercise at the end will include doing your own individual ranking by life challenges, I would suggest you print off a copy of this blog and combine it with next Sunday’s blog so you will have a complete set. You may be as surprised as I was at what you discover about your life plan. I know you will experience some incredibly helpful insight about your life! Enjoy!

14 OF THE 27 LIFE VIRTUES

1. Faith (in a Loving Universe/God)

2. Trust (in self, others and the Universe)

3. Acceptance (being able to walk in another person’s shoes and allow them to be themselves; to accept your present/past life circumstances)

4. Compassion (for self and others)

5. Courage (to speak and live your truth; being your authentic self)

6. Kindness

7. Self Love (to accept that you are a unique individual who has the God/Universal energy within)

8. Unconditional Love (the nonphysical type of love that honors and celebrates the uniqueness of all living things)

9. Peace

10. Joy

11. Gratitude

12. Empathy

13. Patience

14. Self-referencing (realizing that your intuition/gut reaction is based on truth and following it; tapping into yourself for knowledge and wisdom)

Think about some of these virtues and how they may seem to REAPPEAR in your life – maybe as a challenge or lesson – until you have mastered them. On Sunday, I will complete the other 13 on the list and explain how you can use them to determine what you decided to work on in this particular journey. Until then – happy contemplating!

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