Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘past regrets’

Compare No More!

Dr. Marci Shimoff a prolific author and lecturer talks about the need to ‘upgrade our personal operating system.’ She explains that we have two possible operating systems available to us. The first is from a negativity bias which seems to have become terribly overused. In fact, of the approximate 60,000 thoughts we have per day, 80% are negative thoughts of fear, worry and judgment. With this operating system it is a challenge just to get through the day! Life is seen through the eyes of exhaustion. Negative energy robs us of the light source of love and happiness. People in this mindset live in the past (regret) or the future (worry) and miss today – The Now – and the chance to be all they can be.

Dr. Shimoff suggests that we need to upgrade our own personal operating system to one that comes from our soul source of love. This is where miracles are generated. From this mindset, anything is possible and we wake each morning with a sense of purpose and gratitude because we have another day to make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others.

How do we consciously shift our operating system from negative to positive? Living in the present is the first step. The second step is to honestly evaluate the amount of time that we spend in judging and comparing ourselves to others. Check yourself on this by monitoring your thoughts for a day. You will be amazed at your own ‘comparison habit’ that may have become so ingrained in your thinking that it seems natural.

When we decide to appreciate our own strengths we begin to learn to love ourselves for who we are – independent of others. Think about it. Do you often look at yourself and think, ‘I’m too this or not enough that.’ If so you are operating out of a mindset of lack. Are we the brightest, best looking, most successful person in the whole world? Maybe not – but are we learning about ourselves and working to become more of what we can be everyday? Absolutely! The thought of not being perfect is just that – a negative thought that comes from judgment and comparison – two self defeating habits. As Franklin Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” How superficial it is to fall into the habit of comparison thinking. We have no idea what other people’s journey is all about. How can we logically compare ourselves to them? The poem “Desiderata,” speaks beautifully to the thought of comparison:

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career… Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the Universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.”

When we start living in the Now and stop our on going comparison of self to others we begin to make the intuitive leaps in knowing and understanding that are our birthright. We give ourselves the license to believe, achieve and manifest our highest intentions. Life becomes an exciting adventure full of twists and turns that make us stronger everyday. We can pat ourselves on the back and say, ‘I’ve upgraded my operating system and it feels good! Now I have time to appreciate me!’

Have a great few days!

Life is 650,000 hours!

According to Bill Bryson in his book, ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything,’ the average human being lives about 650,000 hours which amounts to a little over 74 years. Of course this is simply an average but it does give a person pause when you think about our life span in that context – reduced to the concept of hours. All of a sudden every hour we spend living in the past or worrying about the future takes on a whole different perspective. One hour gone …how many more do we have left?

Each of us is carrying a load of rocks from our past in our invisible backpacks. If we perseverate on them the rocks can become boulders and cause us to slow down and even bend under the weight. The question is do we have the extra time and energy to continue to carry around anger, regrets or disappointments from the past? Or is it time to decide the next hour, day and week of our life will be better than ever because the clock is, indeed, ticking.

A simple practice of training ourselves, immediately upon awakening, to think about one thing to be grateful for and put a smile on our face we start our day off with more physical and emotional energy. It doesn’t cost a thing but will reap tons of benefit. It also helps us bring our ‘a game’ to the moment, the hour in which we are living. You may be thinking to yourself that you’re not a morning person. You don’t have to be. Simply getting into the practice of waking up with a thought of gratitude and a smile can be a game changer for the day. You still don’t have to talk to anyone until you have had that first cup of coffee or tea. This practice just seems to help get our own internal house in order for the new day. After all, you are still alive and have another chance to realize your purpose and make a difference in life. That, in itself, is a big reason to be happy.

It’s a matter of intention and self awareness. The next time you pass a mirror glance at it and honestly decide what your face is showing to the world. Does it project warmth, positive energy and welcome others in? Can you see a smile in your eyes? If not, the good news is that you can decide to change. Since it takes less energy to be positive than negative it seems like a no brainer to me. Yes, it takes honest self reflection and a bit of effort but we can change just about anything in our lives if we so desire. No cost involved – just a choice to become more aware of our own happiness index and do something about it.

Living is not resisting and merely existing but rather evolving by learning, growing, and polishing the rougher edges of our personality. We all have them. We can become happier, more energized and the person we always wanted to be when we have the courage to take stock of our lives and choose to do something about it. Self improvement is time incredibly well spent. It fuels the body, heart and soul.

Today you can choose to make a difference in life – one step at a time- starting with yourself. Now that is something to get excited about!

Have a great few days!