Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘negative thoughts’

Compare No More!

Dr. Marci Shimoff a prolific author and lecturer talks about the need to ‘upgrade our personal operating system.’ She explains that we have two possible operating systems available to us. The first is from a negativity bias which seems to have become terribly overused. In fact, of the approximate 60,000 thoughts we have per day, 80% are negative thoughts of fear, worry and judgment. With this operating system it is a challenge just to get through the day! Life is seen through the eyes of exhaustion. Negative energy robs us of the light source of love and happiness. People in this mindset live in the past (regret) or the future (worry) and miss today – The Now – and the chance to be all they can be.

Dr. Shimoff suggests that we need to upgrade our own personal operating system to one that comes from our soul source of love. This is where miracles are generated. From this mindset, anything is possible and we wake each morning with a sense of purpose and gratitude because we have another day to make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others.

How do we consciously shift our operating system from negative to positive? Living in the present is the first step. The second step is to honestly evaluate the amount of time that we spend in judging and comparing ourselves to others. Check yourself on this by monitoring your thoughts for a day. You will be amazed at your own ‘comparison habit’ that may have become so ingrained in your thinking that it seems natural.

When we decide to appreciate our own strengths we begin to learn to love ourselves for who we are – independent of others. Think about it. Do you often look at yourself and think, ‘I’m too this or not enough that.’ If so you are operating out of a mindset of lack. Are we the brightest, best looking, most successful person in the whole world? Maybe not – but are we learning about ourselves and working to become more of what we can be everyday? Absolutely! The thought of not being perfect is just that – a negative thought that comes from judgment and comparison – two self defeating habits. As Franklin Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” How superficial it is to fall into the habit of comparison thinking. We have no idea what other people’s journey is all about. How can we logically compare ourselves to them? The poem “Desiderata,” speaks beautifully to the thought of comparison:

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career… Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the Universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.”

When we start living in the Now and stop our on going comparison of self to others we begin to make the intuitive leaps in knowing and understanding that are our birthright. We give ourselves the license to believe, achieve and manifest our highest intentions. Life becomes an exciting adventure full of twists and turns that make us stronger everyday. We can pat ourselves on the back and say, ‘I’ve upgraded my operating system and it feels good! Now I have time to appreciate me!’

Have a great few days!

Live in Gratitude!

We are made up of constant pulsating energy that is radiating out in waves with every thought and emotion that we experience. It’s, as if, we are holding an antennae that sends out our energy and receives energy back from others. Like the signals received from a satellite we are in a constant state of energy exchange. Often, we realize just how powerful our own energy is when we are thinking about someone and all of a sudden, out of the blue, they contact us. At first we are surprised, maybe even a bit amazed with the synchronicity of the contact until we realize we initiated the it when we we sent out thought waves of energy to them.

Realizing that each of us responds to our own energy as well as the energy of others it is important to realize what messages we are giving out and are willing to receive back. We do have a choice. We hear people make the comment from time to time about someone who just ‘drains their energy.’ Think about that statement for a minute. Visualize what that really means. If you become more aware of how you are feeling when you communicate with someone who seems to sap your energy you can do something about it.

People who drain our energy seem to live in a constant state of, ‘Ain’t it awful…’ They may not use these exact words but their talk is filled with a victim mentality. They really do see their cup as half-empty and just to be sure you realize how tough they have it in life they mention in conversation everything that has gone awry lately. Talking with folks like this is exhausting. We think to ourselves that maybe we can help them – lift their spirits and we may, momentarily, but depending upon what level of energy drainer they are they may often hasten back to their own comfort zone of, ‘poor me’ as quickly as possible.

Our own energy is too important to allow it to be hijacked by others. There are a few approaches to try to help these ‘energy drainers’ but it is ultimately up to them to choose their own view of the world. After all, you simply can’t make others happy it is up to them to choose. For some energy drainers at Level 1 who have simply fallen into a habit of seeing lack we can help them by consistently pointing out the many positives we see in life. They just need a guiding hand to pull them back to a more positive mindset. For the Level 2 energy drainers we may need to train ourselves to ignore their subtle and not so subtle messages of ‘poor me.’ When they don’t get the attention or sympathy they want they often up the ante and add more and more negative statements about their life. Pretty soon it just wears us out but we continue to try to redirect their thinking until we see the task as fruitless. For Level 3 energy drainers we may just have to limit our contact with them. Their egos are so entrenched with getting attention and sympathy for all they see going wrong in life that to change is something they flatly refuse to do. They truly believe that others are out to take advantage or get them. They have the right to choose their life path and ultimately, limiting our own contact with them may simply be an act of self preservation. We were not put on this earth to fix others – we are simply not that powerful.

Our only responsibility is to keep ourselves in a positive state of mind. We can do this by practicing gratitude. Each morning before getting out of bed or even opening your eyes take just two minutes to think about a couple of things that you are grateful for in your life. Notice the warm feelings of gratitude you are experiencing. By regularly practicing this simple exercise it becomes a habit before you know it. Life takes on a deeper, richer meaning. This is one habit that will positively influence the rest of your life and just think … it all starts out by just taking a mere two minutes each morning. It takes concerted effort to see life as an opportunity and not a burden but is so worth it. Those that do can be easily recognized because they are the ones who are surrounded by others because of the positive energy they are giving off. We feel energized just being around them. They light up a room by their presence. Let’s make a pact to become one of them!

Have a great few days!