Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘goal attainment’

Make It Happen! 

In the late 1970’s (yes, I am disclosing my age) I taught many classes on goal achievement from material written by Dr. Lou Tice. At the time it was looked upon as rather cutting edge – a way to show people how they could actually attain what they wanted In life. However, this approach was first taught by Robert Collier (1885-1950). His now famous instruction: “See the things that you want as already yours. Know that they will come to you. Then let them come. Don’t fret and worry about them. Don’t think about your lack of them. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession.” Since that time books such as ‘The Secret’ among many, many others have utilized the concepts from Collier and Tice to help us understand that our thoughts are so much more powerful than we may think. We all remember the phrase – garbage in garbage out. Well it’s the same idea with goal attainment only in reverse with positive thought, word and action rather than negative. What you think about most often, WITH EMOTION comes to pass every time. 
In essence, you are sending out to the Universe a laser like beam of positive energy when you focus on something you want in your life. As with everything in life – like attracts like. So if you want something and you can feel with positive emotion how great it will be once it is achieved or received the Universe really does responds in kind. It works like a magnet to bring whatever is foremost in your mind to you.
It is important to be specific. When I was teaching that first series in goal attainment way back in the dark ages a person in the class wanted a patio set. Sounds easy enough right? But I pushed her further to describe the shape, size, color, and last but most important how much she was willing to pay for it. The cost is important. When you state the cost you then relax in knowing that you can afford it – it’s in your mental budget. That’s the essence of constructive motivation. Think of this approach as your personal ‘Amazon in the Universe.’ You see it, feel it, order it and it is delivered to you!
You might wonder why such specificity is important. Quite simply, with each detail you think about you are giving the goal more energy, more excitement. If it is a new house, for example, visualize yourself signing papers with a smile on your face, walking though it with tremendous pride and happiness and knowing in your heart that this is exactly what you wanted and for the amount you wanted to pay. Remember, the more you can feel it, see it and think it the quicker it will come to pass. 
At first, you might think that this approach is a bit far fetched. Trust me it is not. You are meant to have a happy, abundant life. All you have to do is believe that you are worthy, and truly deserve it and it will be yours.
Well, you might be thinking, if this is so easy why doesn’t everyone do it. Good question…the only thing I can think is that if you are a skeptic, don’t believe you are worthy, or have other negative emotions in your mind that type of energy forms a block to the Universe and your message to the Universe is short circuited. If you really can’t see it or truly believe it’s possible you push it away.
Goal attainment calls for a full on press to the finish line. Give it a try and let me know how it felt when what you desired was received. As with everything in life remember the importance of gratitude when you achieve it. Gratitude fuels the Universe. 
Have a great few days! 

Picture it Happening!

Creative visualization – the ability to picture in your mind’s eye things as you truly want them to be. Maybe it’s a new job, house, relationship, or any of a million other things. The point is that the subject doesn’t matter. What really matters is your ability to close your eyes and SEE and FEEL what you most desire with pure, positive EMOTION. This is way more challenging a task that simply saying to yourself, ‘I want to win the lottery.’ Let’s face it most people would like to win the lottery but in their mind that is more like a dream than a reality. In fact, if you could get inside their head after they talk about winning the lottery you would also hear the follow up phrases that start with the word ‘but’ … ‘It will never happen to me, there are a million others trying to win’…but, but, but. That type of thinking is nothing but pure self sabotage. Truth be told, as human beings we are usually much better at thinking about dire outcomes or results from a fear based mentality than we are at believing we can achieve whatever we set our minds to achieving. Is it time to change all of that and drop the ‘buts’ from your thinking and your life?

What I am talking about is visualizing your hearts desire down to the most minute part and then feeling the positive emotion that wells up in you. Let me give you an example. Decades ago – in the 80’s – I taught a class on goal setting using Lou Tice’s material. With 20 or so in the class I asked each person to visualize something they really wanted. One person said they wanted a new patio set. I asked her to see the size, shape, color and price she was willing to pay for it. Specifics – that’s the first key to achieving your goal. Secondly, and even more important, is to continually go to that place of actually feeling how happy, excited and positive you are having achieved it. I asked the person in class to tell me, with emotion, how it would feel when she had acquired the set. Could she feel herself sitting in the chairs, using the table etc., etc. – you get the idea. Over the course of the week class, I asked the participants to really get into it and talk about how they felt ‘having achieved their most heartfelt desire.’ Each time with greater and greater emotion. You may have guessed the result … On the last day of class the person who had set her goal on the patio set came bounding into class to announce she had found exactly what she was looking for and at the exact price she wanted to pay for it!

Yes, the example above sounds simplistic but the method or approach works for many reasons. The basic idea is energy. We are made up of billions and billions of energy waves that work like magnets to give back to us simply more of what we are presently thinking. Lou Tice called this the reticular activating system and explained that in our minds it works like a beacon that pulsates out to the Universe and attaches itself to like minded energy which is then returned to us.

Experiencing is believing – and I speak from experience. What do you really want – at this moment in your life? I mean really, really want. No holds barred – just go for it and suspend your disbelief for a moment and own it. Now, back to reality, do you believe it’s possible to achieve? Do you believe you deserve it? Whatever your answer I would ask you why you believe this to be so? Can you sustain the belief that it is yours and experience the empowered feeling long enough to manifest it? It’s really not as hard as it may sound. It just takes a suspension of our all too willing thoughts of why not in order to achieve your greatest desire. Give it a try – you’ll be so glad you did!

Have a great few days!

Make It Happen!!

If you had only one pearl of wisdom that you could share with your loved ones what would it be? Would it be about honesty, patience, integrity, hard work? Or maybe it would be words of encouragement for them to think about when the going gets tough. These ideas and a host of others are all very important but for me it would be to somehow, someway help them understand the life changing power of their own thoughts.

Often we are so busy ‘doing’ life that we don’t stop to realize that we are actually creating our own reality from the feelings we are sending out to the Universe. The cardinal rule is that THOUGHTS CREATE FEELINGS WHICH CAUSE BEHAVIOR. This is an understanding learned in goal setting that really works! Yup! That’s the long and short of what I would share with my loved ones.

We all have difficulty, challenges and events happen to us that frustrate and seem unfair. That’s part of living on planet Earth. When we choose to face those situations and handle them rather than perseverate on them we win. In fact, any time spent with thoughts that life is unfair is simply time wasted. Those negative thoughts will begin to seep into your personality and drag you down. Little by little people will start to avoid you because you are just too exhausting to be around.

Researchers have said that we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. If you were being totally honest with yourself what percentage would you say you devote to positive, energy creating thoughts …. and what percentage to negative, self defeating thoughts?
Look at those two percentages again. Is that really how you want to live your life?

Speaking about life, what if you really want something – a new house, different job or lasting relationship, for example, and it just hasn’t happened yet. What do you start telling yourself? Lisa Nichols, a contributing author to The Secret said “most of the time when we don’t see the things we have requested we get frustrated. We get disappointed. And we begin to become doubtful. The doubt brings about a feeling of disappointment. Take that doubt and shift it. Recognize that feeling and replace it with a feeling of unwavering faith. “I know that it’s on its way.”

Listen to those words, I KNOW IT’S ON THE WAY. Those are strong, powerful words that elicit a feeling of empowerment. When you take this statement to the next level and allow yourself a few minutes in you days to FEEL how wonderful it will be when it comes to pass you are manifesting the energy to make it happen. Experiencing the feeling (before it actually happens) is actually the key to unlocking the magic door that causes your dreams to become a reality. Why? Simply thinking about something you desire is not enough. You need to FEEL the emotion behind it. It is like putting gas into your engine – it gives you the power needed to send the Universe positive, consistent statements of belief in attainment. Your job then is to remember this feeling as you sit back and watch your dreams become a reality …because they will…and you can smile and realize YOU can make things happen. Remember it’s all about your feelings! You are now in the driver’s seat and the ride will be fantastic for the rest of your life.

This is what I would teach my family because I know it is the most powerful and important lesson they will ever learn.

Have a great few days!

Enough ‘Stuff!’

The holiday season is upon us and with it the choice to buy more ‘stuff.’ I’m not talking about the gifts we buy for others but about the marketing message to ‘buy something special for ourselves.’ It seems to have become a right of passage that holiday shopping is not complete unless we remember to ‘gift’ ourselves. Thus the topic of more stuff becomes a reality.

George Carlin, the comedian who attempted to raise our social consciousness for over 30 years did a classic standup routine about the importance we place on acquiring ‘stuff’ in our lives. Although he died in 2008 his observations are timeless. His YouTube video is worth watching.

Are we so superficial that simply acquiring things is our end game? If so, will that next outfit, car, or house cause us to reach a state of Nirvana where we finally say to ourselves, ‘Now I have everything I want.’ Probably not. Obsessive behavior breeds itself. Could in be that our continual buying and accumulating is simply a way to feed our insatiable egos and to keep the heavy lifting of self improvement at bay? Honestly looking at our own insecurities and doing something about them is the real gift we can give ourselves this season. The bottom line is that we will never acquire enough to give us self-confidence or peace in our lives. That takes time and courage to a whole lot of deep digging. Who we are as a person and what is truly important to us are big questions that may be worth pondering.

Put another way, is having the biggest, fastest or most stuff in our lives really the goal we want to work toward? There was a bumper sticker in the ’90’s that read, ‘The Man With the Most Toys Wins.’ Really? My question is wins what? Have we linked our identity to the ‘stuff’ we so fervently purchase? An easy way to check our values is to think about what we would take with us if we had 20 minutes to evacuate our surroundings. In a survey on happiness most people responded to this question by saying they would take their family pictures. Their response shows that love and relationships trumps things or stuff every time. Our own answer to this question reveals what’s most important in our own life.

When you think about what we will take out of this world (literally the clothes on our backs) when we pass on it puts everything in perspective. Rather than falling into the trap of accepting the holiday marketing message of ‘gifting’ ourselves we could stop, look and listen to our hearts. In so doing we may decide that turning the kaleidoscope of our thinking ever so slightly to develop a deeper understanding of self and offering true caring for others is the true message of the holiday season. If we want to ‘gift’ ourselves maybe we could do so by mending fences, seeking compromise or offering a hand to someone in need. Those are the types of gifts that keep on giving and last a lifetime.

A recent article in The New York Times stated that due to lower gas prices we will be able to buy more ‘stuff’ this holiday season. Great, just what we needed! Maybe – just maybe – we can think about a better use of our time, attention and money. Could it be it all boils down to determining what is really most important in our lives and reallocating our time to nurturing them? That’s something you can’t buy – it’s way more valuable than a mere purchase – but its worth its weight in gold. It’s something to think about…

Have a great few days!

Live in Gratitude!

We are made up of constant pulsating energy that is radiating out in waves with every thought and emotion that we experience. It’s, as if, we are holding an antennae that sends out our energy and receives energy back from others. Like the signals received from a satellite we are in a constant state of energy exchange. Often, we realize just how powerful our own energy is when we are thinking about someone and all of a sudden, out of the blue, they contact us. At first we are surprised, maybe even a bit amazed with the synchronicity of the contact until we realize we initiated the it when we we sent out thought waves of energy to them.

Realizing that each of us responds to our own energy as well as the energy of others it is important to realize what messages we are giving out and are willing to receive back. We do have a choice. We hear people make the comment from time to time about someone who just ‘drains their energy.’ Think about that statement for a minute. Visualize what that really means. If you become more aware of how you are feeling when you communicate with someone who seems to sap your energy you can do something about it.

People who drain our energy seem to live in a constant state of, ‘Ain’t it awful…’ They may not use these exact words but their talk is filled with a victim mentality. They really do see their cup as half-empty and just to be sure you realize how tough they have it in life they mention in conversation everything that has gone awry lately. Talking with folks like this is exhausting. We think to ourselves that maybe we can help them – lift their spirits and we may, momentarily, but depending upon what level of energy drainer they are they may often hasten back to their own comfort zone of, ‘poor me’ as quickly as possible.

Our own energy is too important to allow it to be hijacked by others. There are a few approaches to try to help these ‘energy drainers’ but it is ultimately up to them to choose their own view of the world. After all, you simply can’t make others happy it is up to them to choose. For some energy drainers at Level 1 who have simply fallen into a habit of seeing lack we can help them by consistently pointing out the many positives we see in life. They just need a guiding hand to pull them back to a more positive mindset. For the Level 2 energy drainers we may need to train ourselves to ignore their subtle and not so subtle messages of ‘poor me.’ When they don’t get the attention or sympathy they want they often up the ante and add more and more negative statements about their life. Pretty soon it just wears us out but we continue to try to redirect their thinking until we see the task as fruitless. For Level 3 energy drainers we may just have to limit our contact with them. Their egos are so entrenched with getting attention and sympathy for all they see going wrong in life that to change is something they flatly refuse to do. They truly believe that others are out to take advantage or get them. They have the right to choose their life path and ultimately, limiting our own contact with them may simply be an act of self preservation. We were not put on this earth to fix others – we are simply not that powerful.

Our only responsibility is to keep ourselves in a positive state of mind. We can do this by practicing gratitude. Each morning before getting out of bed or even opening your eyes take just two minutes to think about a couple of things that you are grateful for in your life. Notice the warm feelings of gratitude you are experiencing. By regularly practicing this simple exercise it becomes a habit before you know it. Life takes on a deeper, richer meaning. This is one habit that will positively influence the rest of your life and just think … it all starts out by just taking a mere two minutes each morning. It takes concerted effort to see life as an opportunity and not a burden but is so worth it. Those that do can be easily recognized because they are the ones who are surrounded by others because of the positive energy they are giving off. We feel energized just being around them. They light up a room by their presence. Let’s make a pact to become one of them!

Have a great few days!