Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Thanksgiving’

Emotions Run High During The Holidays!

The Thanksgiving holiday is nearly upon us. This is a time to be thankful for not only what we have but how far we have come. This life journey is tough – not for the faint of heart. Yet, we have made it thus far and have lived to tell the tale! We may see our life unfolding and marvel at the events and people that just seem to be at the perfect place and the perfect time to assist us on our path. When we feel empowered we can face any obstacle or challenge and keep it in perspective. If something isn’t happening now as we wanted it to we seem to have a deep knowing that there is a reason and that bigger doors of opportunity will be opening for us shortly. This feeling of confidence helps us face today with enthusiasm and we even manage a smile when thinking about tomorrow – knowing that it will be a terrific ride! We know that everything is as it should be and we confidently enjoy the banquet of life that is spread out before us. We celebrate today and look forward to the opportunities of tomorrow.

Not everyone may be in this mindset, however. It’s important to remember that as the holidays roll around they can elicit both happiness and at times even a bit of sadness – if not for yourself at least for others. The holidays intensify our feelings and often have a way of causing us to remember times in our life that seemed to have been perfect – at least in our memories. It is normal to have a mixed bag of emotions running through our minds like the constant rerun of a movie. The amount of time we allow ourselves to be in a place of sadness is the thing to be aware of and prepared to do something about.

We have come along way on our journeys and still have a long way to go. For those that feel their present burdens are just too great to carry, think again. You can overcome anything with time and the understanding that ‘this too shall pass’ because it will. Reaching out to someone often helps with this feeling of holiday sadness. Talking to a trusted friend, family member or even a professional may be just what is needed. Be strong enough to seek the counsel of others if you are feeling stuck in an abyss of sadness or regret. Often, they can help us see more clearly when the dark clouds of sadness or fear engulf us.

Let’s also make a commitment to be that special person for someone who may need a shoulder to lean on temporarily. After all, we have not walked a mile in their shoes and don’t realize the journey they are on. We have chosen to live through this life together for an important reason – to be there when others need to feel our strength. Taking the time to show we care can help them get through this emotionally charged time.

During this week as we reflect on our own life maybe we can decide to listen more intently, give more generously and love more fully as we bring our authentic selves to the table. Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a great week!

Healing Through the Holidays

Another Thanksgiving and so many reasons to be grateful and yet… Although we may be struggling with the fact that there is an empty seat at the table, we remember the holidays when everyone was taking up their assigned seats and passing the turkey and gravy. Laughing and sharing what it meant to be together. Those were the times…

Loss has a way of catching you unaware especially during the holiday season. It creeps up on you and renders you speechless in mid sentence. Your voice catches in your throat and you pray not to be obvious to others. You think to yourself, I need to brush away my tears quickly so I don’t upset others. It is amazing what we do to appear strong to others.

The holidays are challenging to get through normally. Add the life changing event of loss to the mix and sometimes just getting through rather than celebrating is the best you can do. It’s okay. Most of us have been there or will be going through it sooner or later. No family escapes the sadness of losing a loved one. We are all travelers on this same path. It is predictable but not invited. The timing may be different but the gut wrenching ‘whys’ and ‘if onlys’ are the same. Maybe if we try to reach out and grab the hand of a fellow traveler and let them know we care both of our paths may be smoother. It’s worth a try.

Our loved ones want us to remember the special times we had, the unconditional love that still exists in our hearts and reflect on the gifts – large and small in our lives today. We see the victims of Hurricane Sandy and realize how quickly life can change. We have experienced devastating change in our own lives and have been altered -bruised and beaten- but we continue on because we realize that our loved ones may be gone from our physical presence but we will always have the special memories the ‘Kodak moments’ to remember. Memories like precious gems that grow more valuable with age are gifts that last a lifetime. We close our eyes and see the smile, hear the humor and feel the intensity of our loved one. We know we are enveloped by their unconditional love. When we feel the chill of loneliness surround us, we have only to remember the love. It will warm us and light our way toward tomorrow.

On one level we know there was a reason for their passing, ‘To everything there is a season.’ But knowing is one thing and understanding much less accepting is another. Our hearts and minds struggle to function in concert. This cruel twist of fate seems impossible to understand but eventually we stop fighting and demanding that it be different. Eventually, we move to a point of recognizing that we have more lessons yet to learn. Is is hard? The toughest thing imaginable. Can we speed up the process? No, we all heal in our own unique time and space.

So when you sit down with family or friends over this holiday let’s remember that our loved ones are around us always. We have learned a great many valuable life lessons. We are strong, we are survivors. Most importantly, we have learned both the value of unconditional love and that the energy of our loved ones last forever.

Robert Frost wrote a poem that may speak to you. It is entitled Nothing Gold Can Stay.

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

On this Thanksgiving eve may you remember yesterday with love and peace, celebrate today for the opportunity to make the day a little brighter and look forward to the challenges of all your tomorrow’s because you are loved.

As Frost said in another poem..
I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Have a great few days!