Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘Universal energy’

Reach Out to a Friend

My blog on Sunday was about the importance of friendship. The artist Coldplay wrote a song entitled, “Fix You” that just seems to reiterate the importance of having a few close family or friends that take the time to not simply listen but truly hear you when you need a sounding board or simply a shoulder to lean on. They are more than ‘friends’ that someone can simply ‘unfriend’ on Facebook. (I must admit the thought of simply ‘unfriending’ someone is hard for me to grasp. It must be a generational thing.) The lyrics in Coldplay’s song touch our hearts.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace…

The refrain in the song is hauntingly moving.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Who do you have in your life that help ‘guide you home’ and lighten your load? Everyone needs someone they can reach out to for support, encouragement even redirection at times. We can all get stuck in the fear of the unknown. It can paralyze our mental processing and make us feel like we are ‘stuck in reverse.’ Losing someone close naturally triggers fear of tomorrow. After all, we think to ourselves, we were powerless to stop this loss. We can easily start to generalize that feeling of powerlessness into the rest of our lives. If you find yourself stuck in the ‘whys’ and ‘if onlys’ it may be time to get in touch with someone – a friend, family member or even grief counselor. Do whatever it takes to get the emotional support you need to face tomorrow.

As human beings we have remarkably similar needs. We all need love, acceptance and support. When we lose a loved one each of us goes through predictable stages of grieving. The pain of loss may resurface throughout our lives when something out of the blue triggers memories of what used to be. Verbalizing these feelings is a healthy thing to do. The strongest among us recognize this and are not afraid to reach out for the supportive hand of another.There are special people in our lives to help ‘guide us home’ to find our true north and gently support us as we move on with our lives. They are heaven sent for a reason, season or lifetime.

Is it time to unload the rocks in the backpack you are caring? As I said in my book, the weight of grief can become so heavy that you can become laden down, unable to see the horizon – the light of day in the tomorrows.

Experiencing many losses, I have come to believe – to absolutely know – that God/Universal Energy does not make mistakes. “All is as it should be.” I don’t have to like it but I chose to live through the lessons involved in loss and a big part of that is to learn that I must move through the loss and continue living life. We have been given the gift of family and friends to help us along our way.

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Tragic Events

When unforeseen and tragic events happen such as Hurricane Sandy we wonder why. People have lost their lives, their homes and belongings and some are struggling just to find drinking water. The feelings of helplessness and fear affect all of us. These natural disasters are humbling. We realize how tenuous life is in general. As we strive to accept and make sense of everything, the belief surfaces that we are spiritual beings in a physical body and our bodies do have an expiration date.

We know, of course, that there really is a thing called climate change. In all areas of the country we are seeing an intensification of the normal weather conditions. The scientific evidence is apparent. Yet, we still wonder why and think,to ourselves, how could this have happened?

As I watched the 12 plus feet of water rushing into areas of New Jersey and New York, I just kept thinking that there are so many things beyond our control, beyond our knowing. It helps to control anxiety and fear when we accept the thought that there is something bigger than ourselves in the Universe. It is important for us to remember that nothing happens by accident. All is as it should be. Following this reasoning the question then surfaces, what lessons are we supposed to learn from these life altering situations?

Our survival depends upon our willingness to be good stewards of the earth on which we live. Global warming is caused by many things. We are a part, a contributor, to the warming that is causing the extreme climate changes. The good news is that each of us, in our own way, can do something to improve the environment. We just need to make a commitment to do so.

Another huge lesson I see surfacing is a reminder that as Americans we are survivors. We can put aside our differences and come together for a cause greater than ourselves. We are tough, resilient folks who are willing to lend a hand in times of trouble. In the challenges of Hurricane Sandy, we have seen our federal and state governments working together within a matter of hours. The politics of the presidential election have been put aside, as it should be, for a bigger purpose. It has been impressive to see how fast the various agencies have joined hands to assist so many people. This tragedy cannot be undone but the question remains, will we internalize the lessons from it?

We can help the people on the east coast in various ways. One possibility is to send in a donation – even five dollars – to the Red Cross or some other reputable organizations. Every dollar will help to ease the pain of our fellow Americans.

As we watch the devastation unfold before our eyes we can’t help but offer a little prayer for those people whose lives have been changed forever. For those that lost a loved one everything changes. They will be experiencing the stages of loss on so many different levels. May they have the strength and resiliency to rebuild and face tomorrow.

We will help, we will survive because we are Americans!

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Your True Compass

For those of us who have experienced a personal loss in our lives it is difficult enough to muster up the energy to feel positive on a daily basis. Yet, during this election season it seems that when we turn on the news we are inundated with more negatives. The hiccup of either candidate is heard, replayed, fact checked and then repeated again during the next news segment so that the team of news analysts can tell us what was meant by what was said. It is both exhausting and frustrating. The negative energy that is being promulgated into the Universe has to be off the chart. I work at staying positive and staying informed. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to voice my opinion and have my vote counted.

Recently, the autobiography of Ted Kennedy caught my attention and I decided to read the entire 500 plus pages. As I read over the 70 year time span, I was amazed at how long it took Washington to change things for the better for the 99 percent of us who, as my mom would say, were ‘not born with a silver spoon in our mouths.’ It helped me put in perspective the amount of time necessary to make fundamental changes in our country. After finishing the book I felt optimism for our future, regardless of what the evening news presented. What I do know is that positive energy, hard work and a belief in the divinity within us will change the world. Robert Kennedy said, “some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.” When you lose a loved one that phrase has a depth of meaning that can be felt in your very core.

I believe we are seeing the transformation we needed in this country. The housing market is improving, college loans are now more available, jobs are developing again and the auto industry is alive and well and living in the USA! I have talked to many people over the past 3 years about the economy. It is good to hear the true American spirit that I was raised with coming through once again. People are glad to have their jobs even if it means more overtime or higher expectations from their bosses. My dad always told me to give your employer 150 percent for every $1 they give you and I have lived by that motto. Together we have all made this country great. We have had tremendous challenges and are beginning to see and feel the optimism that is uniquely American rise to the surface once again.

We are living out our own unique story chapter by chapter. As spiritual beings in a physical body, we are learning our lessons and moving toward the light and love of God/Universal energy. An important part of seeing our own truth is what we do for those less fortunate and for those who need a shoulder to lean on as they regain their balance. Let information and truth be your light and positive energy surround you over the next 10 days. Open your heart and breath in the energy that unites us all with a power greater than ourselves.

Have a great few days!

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Allow Yourself to Heal

I talked to a person recently who said that they no longer feel joy in their life since losing their loved one. They feel anxious, unable to concentrate and just basically empty inside. I understand. I have been there. From the moment you wake in the morning a heaviness descends around you and you have to absolutely will yourself to take that first step of the day. The loss of someone you love is not easy to put into words. Loyalty, trust and joy are just a few of the emotions felt when we love someone so deeply. We think to ourselves, now all that is gone from my life. Our grief is not only for today but the many unrealized tomorrows.

An important part of healing from loss or even just making it through the challenges of living as we learn our life lessons is to ‘allow.’ By definition, allow is ‘to permit.’ To give yourself permission to feel, grieve, remember, even momentarily to wish things had been different, and it is a natural part of grieving the changes that happen in our lives.

We are so used to making things happen that to just allow life to unfold seems counterintuitive. We may feel that it is a cop out, an excuse to do nothing. Quite the contrary. If we turn the kaleidoscope in our minds ever so slightly, we will see that when we allow, we resist the urge to try to control everything or to demand life be a certain way to make us happy. We still strive to become all that we can be but as things happen that hurt or derail us we look at them not with indignation but with a deeper understanding as we search for the personal lessons contained within them. To learn to allow is a hard lesson. To me, that one little word – allow – means a combination of acceptance for what is combined with a belief that ‘all is as it should be.’ It speaks of a power, an energy, greater than ourselves

Take some time over the next few days to think about the word ‘allow.’ How would your life be different if you looked at events, challenges even losses in your life and thought to yourself, my life is about accepting that the Universe is unfolding in perfect order. When you learn to allow, a sense of peace envelops you and you begin to exhale the stress that is so deeply bottled up within you.

A poem that has been meaningful to me on this lesson of allowing life to unfold was written by R. Bach.

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction
and at such a speed,
It feels an impulsion…this is the place to go now.
But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns
behind all clouds,
And you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough
To see beyond horizons.

Have a great few days!

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Happiness is an Inside Job

Listening to a webcast yesterday, I was hooked from the first statement. The moderator (Lisa Garr, the host of the Aware Show) said, “Did you know the number one goal people have worldwide is to be happy.” Then she added a shocking statistic, when responding to a survey on personal happiness, Nigerians ranked number 1 with the happiest people and the U.S. ranked 46 out of the 50 areas surveyed. Researching this further, I discovered that Nigeria has a per capita income of $2,748. The people of this country live on $1.25 -$2.00 per day. Health care, life expectancy even access to drinking water in the rural areas are major challenges dealt with on a daily basis. Yet, they are happier? Why?

Robert Holden, a British psychologist has been running a course on happiness for over 15 years. He explains that when we look OUTSIDE ourselves for happiness it is our ego controlling our thinking. For instance, the thought, ‘I will be happy when…’ ( I get a better job, a new boss, more money, etc.) is conditional happiness that doesn’t last. If you, by chance, achieve one of your “wish fors” by habit you will simply replace it with the next thing on your mental want list and feel unhappy, unsettled once again. Funny how that works. We are never at a loss for our next want. This approach keeps us locked into a thinking pattern of lack rather than abundance. We focus on the negative energy involved in what we don’t have causing us to feel lack in our lives rather than on what we do have which brings the positive energy of abundance to our tables.

Maybe the Nigerians do not live in a constant state of want but rather accept what they have with a belief in themselves and a higher power, feeling gratitude for simply being able to live another day. Sounds deceptively simple, yet their happiness ranking is number 1. They must be doing something differently than we are to achieve that ranking.

We each have the DNA of Divinity in us. Being happy, regardless of our circumstance is something we can achieve if we recognize the root cause of happiness. We were born happy – a gift from the Universe. Somewhere along the way we began comparing ourselves to others and accepting negative messages or experiences in our lives as truth. We may have lost our happiness – our belief and confidence in ourself – along the way. Our egos may have gotten involved and we began judging ourselves and others and the cycle of unhappiness began. Something in our lives from then on just felt a bit off.

Let’s return to the place where we were early in our lives, a place before life happened to us, a place of self acceptance. You are on your own unique path and learning the lessons you have chosen to learn in this lifetime. You don’t need to be more or less of something. You are perfect in the image of the Divine. When you think about it the Divine Energy that created you doesn’t make mistakes. The Energy made you perfect in every way so that you could learn the lessons you have chosen to learn this time around. You are learning, growing and becoming the person you wanted to become. Once you accept yourself, unconditionally, for who you really are – a spiritual soul in a physical body who is on their own unique path of learning, you experience happiness from the INSIDE and that can’t ever be taken away from you. It is not something to be bought, achieved or acquired. In other words, happiness truly is an inside job.

It may take time for these thoughts to take seed. I visualize these ideas like a feather. They are not something to be grasped at but rather to let settle into your outstretched hand or mind as you think about them over time. True happiness – the kind that brings a smile to your face for no apparent reason at all – will come to you once you accept the thought that the DNA of Divinity is in you and remember that the Universal Energy/God does not make mistakes.

Have a great few days!

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A Flower Grew Overnight

Yesterday was ‘Octoberfest’ in Sun City Grand located in Surprise, Arizona and I had rented a table to display my book, Just Behind the Door. I knew it would be a long day but a good one since I would have the opportunity to connect heart to heart with people who had experienced a loss. The eyes of a person are the window to their soul and just looking at the eyes of those who came up to the table let me know where they were on the grief scale toward ultimate healing. Some, after 5 or 7 years were still stuck in the cycle of ‘why did this have to happen.’ Anger, denial and disbelief can be paralyzing emotions. They can freeze frame your life and cause you to become simply a shadow of the person you once were. One woman gently guided her friend over to my table and said, ” You need to talk with her.” What an act of unconditional love and concern for her friend, I thought to myself.

When we are finally able to heal and accept the loss that has happened in our lives and realize that the Universe doesn’t make mistakes, it opens up a deeper level of seeing and knowing. A level of peace envelopes us and we are able to continue on with our own life lessons.

A follow up from someone I talked with yesterday appeared on my email this morning. A gentleman had lost his wife in a traffic accident. They were simply walking, enjoying the experience when hit by a car. In an instant, it changed their lives forever. This spring he went out to water some rose bushes and he said in his email, “I looked down and saw in the hot, dry, barren soil next to the roses a most beautiful white (petunia or pansy) flower with a pink and purple “butterfly” design in the center. It was on a small plant about 3 inches high… We had never planted this type of flower in our garden before… Just the day before I had tended to this tiny garden patch and I never saw any plant like this there. In amazement I asked myself, ‘how did this plant get there …and overnight!”

He took a picture of the plant and forwarded it to friends, had it framed and was gracious enough to send the picture on to me with his email. He accepted the sign with gratitude and love which opened his level of consciousness to receive even more of these messages that are heaven sent. I have had similar experiences and know that birds, the wind, and other environmental factors carry seeds from one location to another. However, when a plant appears overnight (and in this desert environment) to me, it is a sign from our loved one that they are thinking about us and wanting us to live our lives to the fullest.

As we recognize these signs with gratitude we allow ourselves to become more in tune to seeing these messages from our loved ones as a reassurance that, all is as it should be. The psychic, John Holland was taking about messages Friday on a webcast. He emphasized, once again, that the more open and accepting of the belief that it is possible for our loved ones to give us signs from the other side the more you will receive.

We are, after all, simply energy and we know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed in form. The physical body may be gone but their soul energy remains. No wonder, then that our loved ones on the other side can send us these messages. They may be pennies, butterflies, flowers or many other things but they are meant for us. Enjoy your next ‘a ha’ when you see it – it is a gift from your loved one just for you.

Have a great few days!

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Abundance or Limitation

The law of attraction is exact, precise. What ever you have in your life you have attracted it through continued thought. Have you ever watch a particular person and thought, they have the Midas touch. It seems like everything they do just turns out right, or in the case of Midas, it turns to gold. Actually, if you dig deeper you will find that this person works, plans, and refuses to accept anything that is not in their best interest. They believe in themselves and put the effort in to make their dreams a reality. If they have a set back they view it as simply a small hurdle that they will get over.

I have had the opportunity to watch a few people in my life that fit this category. What a ride they have had – against all odds they have succeeded. When you talk to them you discover that they have had their trials and tribulations like the rest of us. And yet, they refused to give in.They just made things happen it seems, at times, through sheer will.

What I have learned is that success truly does breed success. Small doses of reality, small events that enlarge one’s comfort zone, does make for a happier, more secure person. The world can be as small (limiting) or as large (ever expanding) as you so choose. The Universe will deliver what is foremost in your thoughts.

No one achieves peace, love or success without paying their dues. There are simply no ‘free passes.’ Life, love and loss is about lessons. Simply put, we chose the lessons and we, consequently, have to live out the experiences until we ‘get it.’

If you feel a change is necessary in your life, look first to what you are saying to yourself. Is it a message of fear, lack of … or any other limiting thought. If so. You might think about the energy you are giving out to the Universe. Remember, you will get back more of what you give out. I choose to give out the thought of ABUNDANCE.

What thoughts are occupying your mind – lack, fear or abundance?

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The Rest of Your Life

Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. What plans, what aspirations do you have for the rest of your life? Will you allow yourself to be controlled by fear of the unknown? Or will you look in the mirror and realize, as my son has told me many times from the other side, “all is as it should be.” It takes time to really process that thought. Even though we may have experienced loss, disappointments and challenges in our lives everything really is ‘as it should be.’ You may be thinking, ‘ but why did I have to experience this.. What did I do wrong?’ You did nothing wrong. You are simply living out your prebirth contract to learn certain lessons you have chosen. Remember the thought… ours is not to question only do. It’s true, questioning, even railing at the injustice that you feel you have experienced will not change things. In fact, it will only made you less ready, less of who you are, to face tomorrow. Show me a person who has not experienced loss and I will show you a person who has never really lived. It doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to be absorbed into your very soul.

As the Taoist say, ‘we are constantly being born to the future and dying to the past, yet we remain what we are. In the whole of history there has never existed a single person whose conduct was always perfect. Understanding this, the wise don’t try to be perfect.’ There is no fear in dying only fear in living an unfilled life.

So tomorrow, look at yourself in the mirror and say, ” I can do this.” – whatever it may be – because you can. You are part of the unity of this incredible Universe. You are a part of the Divinity of all that ever was and all that ever will be. Be thankful that you have learned the particular lessons that have been presented to you. You have survived, you have learned and will thrive from both the lessons of yesterday and today. They have made you even stronger for tomorrow. Make it a great one!

Have a great few days!

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12 Minute Meditation That Works

Loss, stress, and aging take a toll on our mind and body. We all have moments when we can’t remember something. At first we may dismiss it and think that we have too much on our minds. However, when the frequency of memory lapse seems to be increasing, it is time to get serious and do something about it. Fortunately, there are leading neuroscientists discovering ways that can increase our memory function, attention span, information processing, problem solving and social decision making skills.

A proactive way to increase brain function is explained in the book, How GOD Changes Your Brain by Andrew Newberg, MD and Mark Waldman. It is called Kirtan Kriya meditation (KKM). A short synopsis of the technique is that it involves 3 things; breathing, sound and movement. The four sounds of sa, ta, na, ma, are chanted or sung out loud to whatever notes you want to give them. While you are singing each sound, touch your index fingers to your thumbs for ‘sa’, middle fingers to thumbs on ‘ta’, ring fingers to thumbs for ‘na’ and little fingers to thumbs for ‘ma.’ The authors recommend doing this daily for 12 minutes before getting out of bed in the morning.

As I started practicing this type of meditation I noticed that it quickly stops that monkey chatter in my mind. You can learn more about this through Newberg’s book, or googling Kirtan Kriya. There is even an 8 minute YouTube video demonstrating the technique.

In addition to all of the other benefits, meditation helps us become more in tune with the Universal Energy source and can further open our channels for hearing, seeing and feeling from our loved ones on the other side. In my book, Just Behind the Door, I have shared a decade of conversations I have had with my son, mother and sister who have passed on. During my book talks people have asked me how they can learn to communicate with their loved ones. I feel that the Kirtan Kriya meditation technique makes sense. I know it works. Give it a try- even for a week- and let me know what you experienced.

Have a great few days!

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Passing On Gratitude and Positive Energy

How often do we take the time to truly tell someone when they have made a positive impact in our lives? We may, occasionally, think to ourselves, how special someone has been and then we usually move on to the million of other thoughts that are running around in our minds or attending to the never ending list of things that are yet to be accomplished. When someone takes their time to stop and actually tell us how we have impacted their lives, it gives us pause, brings a smile to our face and ignites the love in our hearts. It causes us to feel special, loved and appreciated. I have received calls and emails from family and friends recently about how the blogs and book have changed their lives. I am humbled and excited. Today, I received a call from another friend who told me how helpful the time was that we spent together during my recent visit. It caused me, once again, to remember that the time you give to others, helping them process the challenges and lessons in their lives, or simply listening to them with full, undivided attention is so important; it shows them how much you care. It made me think of the impact we could all have on others.

Is there someone in your life who reflects the lyrics from Celine Dion’s song, ‘Because you Loved Me.’ “For all those times you stood by me. For all the truth that you made me see. For all the joy you brought into my life. For all the wrong that you made right.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us would take the time to send this thought of gratitude on to one, two or even three people who have had a positive impact in our life, explaining how much we appreciate them and then ask them to pass it on to others as well.

I can visualize circles of gratitude that keep expanding around each of us, generating more and more positive energy into all of our lives. Most importantly, I can visualize the lights in the hearts of so many of our family and friends when they realize how important they are to us.

Each of us would, in fact, change the world – email by email – with gratitude from our hearts. Who knows, we may even get a few returned to us!

Have a great few days!

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