Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘grief’

Have You Seen a Miracle Walking?

Miracles can happen! I have heard of two just during the first 2 weeks of 2015. Have you ever experienced something in your life that just seemed too good to be true? Well, miracles are like that and they happen all the time. The important thing is to recognize them and be grateful.

When something happens to us that brings us greater joy, peace or love and we are grateful for it we are actually sending a message to the Universe that we are open to even more miracles in our life. It’s not magic but the power of positive thought that pulsates out to the Universe guiding more of the same back to us.

Some people seem to be miracles walking. They are the people who choose to see the goodness and possibilities that exists in this world. They are the ones who are busy helping others along the way. Their selfless acts build up just like an invisible bank account of positive energy and consequently they seem to have good things happen to them often. At first they may attribute these things simply to their good luck or hard work. Although both of those things are important the real powerhouse is in their thinking. They truly live a life of positive expectation.

When they experience difficulties they know in their hearts that it is time for a mid course correction and without fanfare or drama go about making the changes necessary. They accept responsibility for what happens – never using excuses or placing blame. They seem to have found their own special niche in life and are quick to recognize both the large and small things that happen to them as opportunities for growth.

These types of folks have the self-confidence to say no when it is necessary and yes when it is possible. They can always be relied upon to deliver what they set out to do. Their word is their bond. We can feel integrity emanating from them miles away – often just their signature alone is enough to help us breathe easier knowing things will get done.

You can recognize these folks because they seem to walk with pride and happiness as their constant companions. They are humble in their achievements and always give more than is expected. They experience genuine happiness as they celebrate the accomplishments of others.

Above all these types of folks are grateful. They have learned the importance of gratitude and know it is the key that opens all of the world’s doors to them. They just seem to be a living miracle in so many ways.

Over the next few weeks look for miracles in your own life. The more you recognize them with gratitude the more often they will happen. Miracles are beautiful messages from the Universe that you are loved.

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

The Importance of Gratitude

2015 – The Year of Optimism continues…

I ran across some thoughts about gratitude by Jackie Olson recently and wanted to share them with you.

Gratitude Opens Doors

Always see the goodness in this world,
do your part in helping those less fortunate,
walk hand in hand with those of less talent,
Follow those of more knowledge,
And be equal with those who are different.
Find your special purpose in this world so full of choices,
And help lead those who stray.
Become your own individual-
set yourself apart from those who are the same.
Have the self-confidence to say no when it is necessary
and the strength to stand alone.
Give yourself the approval to love and
respect everything that you are and will become.
Reap the fruits of your talents,
Walk with pride down the road of life,
Be humble in your successes,
And share in the praises and joy of others.
Most of all be grateful.
For when you are grateful,
You have the key that will open all of the world’s doors to you.

Let’s start a new habit that can positively change our perspective by taking the first 1 or 2 minutes when waking each morning to think about three things that happened yesterday for which we are grateful. After a few weeks this habit will become ingrained and we will experience a more positive year and manifest our own Year of Optimism for 2015!

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

2015 The Year of Optimism!

Let’s make 2015 the ‘Year of Optimism.’ Visualize a place mat similar to one in a Chinese restaurant but on our mat written in big capital letters is simply the word Optimism. The word itself engenders a sense of hope, energy, excitement. Can you just imagine what would happen if we simply decided to live the rest of the remaining 358 days from a perspective of positive, optimistic thoughts? Our world would be changed forever. Montage Edwards has said that ‘Positive thinking is not the destination; it is the journey. An optimistic person will be constantly challenged by external circumstances as well as inner fears and doubts.’ He goes on to challenge us to think of these tests or lessons simply as a ladder and as we climb each rung our optimism strengthens our own self confidence and we develop a deeper sense of inner peace about our ability to handle whatever comes along.

Optimistic, positive thinking is not something we are born with but an habitual approach we choose to develop in life. It takes practice for any habit to become ingrained. Yet this particular habit reaps mountains of benefits that include our physical, mental and emotional well-being.

I have come to regard those people who choose to call themselves ‘resident critics’ as simply people who cannot muster the strength to practice positive thinking. That must be a sad state to live in. But they can choose to do something about it. All of us have challenges and disappointments. We live our life between two end points on a continuum. One end is aspirations and the other is limitations. Our challenge is to determine what point on the continuum we want to be at and simply do it! Events happen, challenges can temporarily seem to engulf us yet we all know successful, happy people who do not count the number of times they are knocked down because they are too busy getting back up to face another day. We can become just like them when we decide to live a life of optimism.

Optimistic people view the world as an opportunity to make a difference in both large and small ways. They accept responsibility when things go wrong and choose to seek the lesson in the experience. Each day they seem to become more rather than less. Life is no brief candle to them but a brilliant torch that they choose to burn brightly. You can easily identify these folks because they seem to gather people around them like a magnet. Somehow people can feel the energy they generate and want to be a part of it.

When we open our eyes tomorrow morning let’s think about the fact that it is a brand new day with both challenges and opportunities. Drinking our first cup of coffee or tea visualize the magnificence that we are privilege to be a part of as a smile slowly spreads across our face. The day will be exactly as we choose it to be – no more no less. What power we have in our own little corner of the world and just think … it all starts with our mindset.

Optimism is a habit – a very important one to nurture and develop as we live our life to the fullest before handing it on to future generations! Let’s commit to making 2015 the best year yet!

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

The Best Christmas Gifts!

About this time in our rush to finish Christmas shopping we may begin to struggle with gift ideas for those hard to buy for friends or family members. We may have tapped out our resources and are beginning to get concerned about spending more money and for good reason. Did you know that the average family takes 2.6 months to pay off their Christmas bills? That fact helps to put things in perspective. Starting the new year with a mound of bills coming due places a lot of pressure on us yet we may think that a purchased gift is expected to show that we care. Maybe there is another way. If you are trying to come up with ideas for those last minute gifts which won’t break the bank here are six gift ideas that don’t cost a bundle yet can touch the hearts of those special people in our lives.

The Gift of Listening – without interrupting, daydreaming or planning your response you apply the skills of active, engaged listening to someone that really needs to be heard. No matter that you may have heard what they are repeating before you just honor their right for a caring ear when they need it most.

The Gift of Affection – being generous with hugs, kisses, pats on the back and words of encouragement help to remind the person how special they are to you and demonstrate the love you hold in your heart for them.

The Gift of Laughter – including a humorous article or reiterating a funny experience you had with them in a Christmas card or email tells the other person that you remember a special time when you brought out the laughter and joy in each other.

The Gift of a Note – taking the time to put in writing how you feel about the other person is a gift that just keeps on giving. Often, these words of love and appreciation are kept for a lifetime, reread throughout the year, and may even change a life.

The Gift of Something From Your Kitchen- whipping up a batch of cookies or brownies does not take an inordinate amount of time yet can help the other person who may not have an extra moment add a little something special to their holiday table.

The Gift of Time – setting aside 10 minutes to reach out and call someone to let them know that you are thinking of them warms their heart and tells them that you truly care. The positive energy they receive by hearing your voice can make their day.

We can purchase all kinds of things, wrap them in pretty paper and put a bow on top but the best – most valuable gifts – come from our hearts. Those kind remind the special people in our lives that they matter – that their presence in our life has meant something – that we are grateful for the shared journey. That message speaks louder than anything we can buy.

I offer my thanks to all of you who have read my blogs throughout the years. I hope I have been able to give you some food for thought from these postings. My next blog will be on December 31st. to usher in the New Year – stay tuned and have a wonderful Christmas!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

Is it Time?

Christmas is only one week away – where did the time go? As you are wrapping gifts to give to your family and friends how about giving one to yourself. I am not talking about anything that can be bought in department stores or shipped to you from the hundreds of online suppliers. No, what I have in mind is too big, too valuable to simply be purchased. I’m talking about the gift of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the magic elixir, the thing that can seriously change your life for the better. If there is someone that you have unfinished emotional business with or even open wounds that haven’t healed when we talk about peace on earth remember, the peace must first start in your own heart.

You can tell if a person has been sidelined due to their bitterness over something that happened in the past. When they talk about it (which they often do) they talk faster, louder and with such strong emotionally laden words that it sounds like it happened just yesterday. They seem to relive the time, date and place with such vehemence that you just have to wonder what toll it is taking on them on the inside. I wonder if they know about the research regarding the relationship between anger and cancer. Is it time for the gift of forgiveness.

Anger, bitterness or resentment can eat away at you. Even if you feel 100% justified in your feelings the only one paying the price is you – over and over again as you relive it in your mind. Simply put, you have allowed another person to rob you of today when you relive the negatives of yesterday. Sometimes we may feel that we want the whole world to know we were wronged. Here’s a news flash … the rest of the world really doesn’t care – not really – they are too busy dealing with their own challenges. Okay – something hurtful or wrong happened – now the million dollar question is do you really want to carry the enormous weight of that baggage on your shoulders for the rest of your life? If not, decide how long are you willing to carry it and write it down. Your answer determines how long you choose to be the victim.

Forgiveness is not easy but essential if you want to be truly happy. You might think that you are past the issue or do not want to give the person the time of day ever again. I get it – but just remember you are choosing to pay a steep price from your emotional bank account. If you continue to hold on to the grudge sooner or later you will be emotionally bankrupt as you join the ranks of the walking wounded. There are no blue ribbons for the person who has been hurt or wronged most deeply.

You can forgive but you needn’t forget. You have learned something from the experience and it has made you wiser more equipped to handle similar situations in the future. Perseverating on the past keeps you locked into a victim mentality. Little by little you begin to see others with a jaundice eye. Negative energy multiplies fast and will seep into your pores until you look for – even expect -more of the same in your life. You become primed for a hostile emotional take over and then wonder why life continues to be so tough. It all boils down to energy – negative attracts more negative.

Forgiveness is not simply a feeling it is a choice that you make. Are you ready to let go of the yuk from the past? Only you can decide if being in the role of victim, filled with grudges and unhappiness, is the role you choose for the rest of your life. Maybe it’s time to give yourself the greatest gift possible … forgiveness.

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

Who Has ‘Text Neck?’

A recent article in ‘The Week’ magazine entitled, ‘The Text Neck’ refers to an ‘epidemic’ that is worth becoming aware of – the craze of texting – which for some has devolved
into a dependency behavior. The latest research on the topic by back surgeons has concluded that those who are constantly looking down at their phones to text are subject to neck cramps, pinched nerves, herniated discs and even early degeneration of the spine especially in the younger generation.

The reason for the effect is quite logical when we think about how our bodies are designed. The normal head weighs between 10-12 pounds. Using computer modeling the researches found that when the head is angled or bowed at 60 degrees (looking down from an upright position to text for example) the strain on the neck increases to 60 pounds – about the weight of four bowling balls! Our bodies simply cannot support that weight over time.

For those who have become addicted to texting (yes – this has become a recognized addiction which has even been linked to increased depression) maybe it’s time to share this information with them. The data is in – permanent physical damage can happen when texting becomes habitual. Further, when we replace active engagement with other people to mere texting we lose our ability to read social cues or develop a stronger sense of self.

When someone creates a limited comfort zone around them using texting as the main way to communicate with the rest of the world they become less rather than more. Real communication cannot be reduced to a quirky three or four word response. Deeper, more engaged communication is critical for healthy family relationships as well as success in the work place. But how does someone develop the critical skills of active communication if they don’t practice them continuously in the real world setting?

Often we can observe families at restaurants or on the mall and the parents as well as the kids are not interacting with each other but are busy texting or playing a game on their phones. The opportunity for true human connection is lost as their fingers tap out their current abbreviated comment to someone – anyone – and they anxiously await a response.They seem to be saying to themselves … ‘I am important to someone out there – just watch and ‘they’ will respond to my latest comment.’ Their phone has become their ‘go to friend’ and they have become so dependent upon it that they can have a melt down if their battery is low. Really?

The benefit of this powerful technology cannot be downplayed. It has changed the world for the better. It can make us more efficient and effective when we need to communicate with someone quickly and even allows us to share something funny with a friend without interrupting them at the precise moment we send our text. However, like anything in life the question boils down to balance and moderation. If those two concepts sound a bit boring to you – think about living without them in your life. Not a pretty picture!

If each of us would consider these implications in our own lives and take the time to gently encourage our family members to consider them as well we would improve our ability to communicate authentically and see the deeper value in the human experience.

If you try to discuss these points with someone you care about who seems to have become addicted to texting and they refuse to listen or engage in the discussion you know you have hit a nerve. That can be a good thing if you don’t give up. After all, we know that sometimes a point needs to be repeated four or five times to get through to a reluctant learner. Don’t we owe it to those we truly care about to share information that would help them in the long run?

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

Being Grateful For Our Challenges

As the busy holiday season approaches let’s remember the magic of gratitude. It has been linked directly to increased levels of happiness and overall life satisfaction. The author, Denis Waitley, has said, ‘Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.’ When we take time to count our blessings we are sending out to the Universe a wink, or a nod of appreciation which attracts more blessings into our life. A simple but very effective habit to start is to take just 30 seconds after waking each morning to give thanks for something in your life. By doing so you set into motion a spiritual law which says, the more you are grateful for, the more you will be given. It’s such a simple practice yet one that is often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of life.

Being grateful for all that you have can be easy – it simply becomes a matter of habit. If you are ready for it the ultimate challenge is to train yourself to be grateful for the things that have been difficult in your life. That may sound like a stretch but when we look at the idea through the eyes of this unknown author it makes sense.

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you are tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easier to be thankful for the good things
but a life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

Emotions Run High During The Holidays!

The Thanksgiving holiday is nearly upon us. This is a time to be thankful for not only what we have but how far we have come. This life journey is tough – not for the faint of heart. Yet, we have made it thus far and have lived to tell the tale! We may see our life unfolding and marvel at the events and people that just seem to be at the perfect place and the perfect time to assist us on our path. When we feel empowered we can face any obstacle or challenge and keep it in perspective. If something isn’t happening now as we wanted it to we seem to have a deep knowing that there is a reason and that bigger doors of opportunity will be opening for us shortly. This feeling of confidence helps us face today with enthusiasm and we even manage a smile when thinking about tomorrow – knowing that it will be a terrific ride! We know that everything is as it should be and we confidently enjoy the banquet of life that is spread out before us. We celebrate today and look forward to the opportunities of tomorrow.

Not everyone may be in this mindset, however. It’s important to remember that as the holidays roll around they can elicit both happiness and at times even a bit of sadness – if not for yourself at least for others. The holidays intensify our feelings and often have a way of causing us to remember times in our life that seemed to have been perfect – at least in our memories. It is normal to have a mixed bag of emotions running through our minds like the constant rerun of a movie. The amount of time we allow ourselves to be in a place of sadness is the thing to be aware of and prepared to do something about.

We have come along way on our journeys and still have a long way to go. For those that feel their present burdens are just too great to carry, think again. You can overcome anything with time and the understanding that ‘this too shall pass’ because it will. Reaching out to someone often helps with this feeling of holiday sadness. Talking to a trusted friend, family member or even a professional may be just what is needed. Be strong enough to seek the counsel of others if you are feeling stuck in an abyss of sadness or regret. Often, they can help us see more clearly when the dark clouds of sadness or fear engulf us.

Let’s also make a commitment to be that special person for someone who may need a shoulder to lean on temporarily. After all, we have not walked a mile in their shoes and don’t realize the journey they are on. We have chosen to live through this life together for an important reason – to be there when others need to feel our strength. Taking the time to show we care can help them get through this emotionally charged time.

During this week as we reflect on our own life maybe we can decide to listen more intently, give more generously and love more fully as we bring our authentic selves to the table. Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a great week!

Category:

General

Tagged with:

Everyone’s a Teacher!

The author William Arthur Ward wrote, “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” The traditional view of a teacher is one who has taken the content and methodology courses, earned the degree and is in charge of a classroom of eager learners. However, there is an expanded view of the role of teacher that effects us all.

We are all teachers in our own way every day of our life. Our thoughts, attitude and behavior speaks volumes and serves as a model to those around us in this classroom called life. As a life teacher we can see that sometimes what people need may differ from what they want – yet we help them learn to appreciate what they need because we believe in them and want them to be happy and successful.

Take a moment and think about a challenge that has been presented to you recently. How did you handle it? Did you demonstrate the strength and tenacity to overcome and work through it with grace? Did you look past the issue at hand and demonstrate with confidence the belief that ‘this too shall pass?’ Hopefully, you did because without even realizing it someone – a student – is watching…When you think about the role of life teacher to those you love the ultimate question is – are you satisfied with your teaching? Is it the best it can be? Are you helping to instill in them a belief that ‘All is as it should be’ and that life is a never ending quest of personal development?

Take a moment and think about the best teacher you had in life. I’ll bet that person inspired you to achieve, to reach a higher level of understanding, acceptance and achievement. They refused to allow you to use others or circumstances as an excuse but encouraged and pushed you to be better because they believed in you. Wouldn’t it be incredible if each of us became that ‘best teacher’ to at least one other person sometime in our life?

As a model for others the greatest gift we can give them is the understanding that although they can’t always control the cards they are dealt, they can control the way they play them. We can help them discover that they have the capacity to overcome against all odds and will actually develop more self-confidence from these life challenges along the way.

Life is difficult, not for the faint of heart, but above all it is fair. It is exactly what we chose for this incarnation even with all the challenging lessons we may be presently encountering. Each has a purpose, a reason for being.

There is a saying that when the student is ready the teacher comes along. Be ready to be that teacher to someone in your life by modeling the behavior that you want to see in them. Your contribution will be immeasurable in helping someone further discover their strengths and change the world!

Have a great few days!

Category:

General

Tagged with: