Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘grief’

The Magic of Hope

Continuing on the theme of how small changes can positively affect our lives the topic today is hope, that invisible feeling that results in happier tomorrows. Hope can keep the human spirit alive and is one of the most powerful forces we can create in our lives. It gives us a reason to go on when we meet what seems to be insurmountable challenges or disappointments.

Let’s think about the dynamics of our family and friends. We all have certain people that we relate to more easily. Sometimes we can even finish their sentences because we just seem to be on the same wave length. These relationships are easy for us to maintain. Not a lot of emotional or personal growth needed for us with these kindred spirits. Relating to them is like hitting the Easy Button on our desks.

There are other relationships that can be a bit more challenging. At times it can even be down right uncomfortable being together. We may anticipate seeing them and feel ourselves getting uptight about the encounter. We may have played the record over and over in our heads about what upsets us about them. Maybe they are poor listeners, interrupting constantly or frequently telling us what we should or shouldn’t do rather than seeking our thoughts and perspectives on a situation. Or maybe they are emotionally distant and only interested in their own world. The list of possibilities can be endless if we allow ourselves to stay stuck in a mindset that it is hopeless to expect them to act differently. Since we all have a range of personalities within our family and friends it can make life more interesting and rewarding if we start to look at them with hope and a belief that our relationships can improve over time.

When we accept the fact that everyone has a right to their own perspectives and that we do not have the right to judge others simply because they think differently than we do we begin to embrace life. Differences in age, life experiences, family dynamics and a host of other variables results in a unique set of lenses for each individual. Honoring these differences takes the tension out of our encounters. It becomes less about the right or wrong of a viewpoint and more about looking for the positives and uniqueness in another. Regrettably, it is too easy to dismiss or discount someone because they don’t think as we do. However, that behavior says more about us rather than them. The strong, confident person chooses hope for a better tomorrow and believes in the rights of others to be their unique selves without judgment. They are the ones who take home the prize at the end of the day.

Archbishop Tutu said: “There is no situation that is not transformable. There is no person who is hopeless. There is no set of circumstances that cannot be turned about by ordinary human beings and their natural capacity for love of the deepest sort.”

Hope is totally within our own minds and hearts to choose to manifest. It can give us a reason to try harder and become inspired and optimistic against all odds. It gives us a reason to give those challenging people in our lives another chance, and us another opportunity to develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of them. We can develop a reservoir of hope so deep that no person or experience can take our hope and joy away. We live it, breathe it and believe in it with our entire being.

In fact, hope can cause us to change our view and begin to expect things to go better the next time we see that challenging individual. The magic thing about hope is that it creates and attracts more positive energy to us. Before you know it what or who you once thought challenging is not acting quite as difficult as you expected. You realize that you don’t need them to change because you hold both love and hope in your heart and are fully equipped to handle any situation. Those positive feelings become contagious even to the most recalcitrant
of people.

Have a great few days!

Choosing Happiness!

This is the second blog on the topic of how small changes in our thinking can make huge impacts in our lives. In goal setting we know that there are two different types of motivation – constructive and restrictive. The understanding of the difference between the two are significant and can be life changing.

The definition of constructive motivation is deciding to CHOOSE to see the opportunity in a situation. Even with events in our lives that challenge us using constructive motivation we decide to handle them in a more positive manner. Think of the saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemon aid. This is a perfect example of constructive motivation. It allows us to bring a more energized mindset to any chore or event. Life is not easy or for the faint of heart. Why make it harder on ourselves? Constructive motivation colors our world with vibrancy and is energizing not only to us but to those around us.

Restrictive motivation, on the other hand, is easily identified because the person usually starts by saying, ‘I HAVE TO …’ or ‘so and so is MAKING or EXPECTING me to …’ What they are saying is that what they need to do or are expected to do is not really of their choosing and consequently they psychologically resent it and see it as a demand. When you think about it the only two things we have to do in life is die and pay taxes. We don’t have to work at a particular job, live in a particular environment or maintain certain friends because we can change those things if we are unhappy with them. If our job is too stressful we can start looking for a different one that better suits us. If our bills are too high and causing us stress we can change our spending habits. People who use restrictive motivation often enjoy the attention received by playing the role of victim by being the person who is constantly overwhelmed by the demands of others. Their attitude speaks volumes. Slowly but surely they have fewer and fewer friends because their negative energy zaps others. Over time, people choose not to be around them. It just takes too much out of us to hear their latest version of what is not working in their lives. It can be exhaustive just thinking about them.

If we want to feel more in charge of our lives we can do so by consciously thinking in terms or ‘want or choose to do something’ rather than ‘have to’ do something. It takes practice but over time the results are worth it. Reading this you may think the difference of thinking in terms of ‘choosing’ rather than ‘having’ to is merely semantics but it is so much more. The difference is truly immense because in reality it is all about energy – positive or negative. Just think about how you feel when someone tells you to do something compared to when someone asks you to do something. You may still do the task but when asked you feel you have a choice and do it more willingly. When being told to do something you may still do it, of course, but you bring to the table a subtle but natural resentment to the task just as we did when we were kids and our parents told us to do this or that – remember how you felt? Not so good right? Then why would we do the same thing constantly to ourselves?

Our tomorrows stretch out ahead of us just as a blank canvas to an artist. What colors, attitude and motivation we choose to bring to the experience determines whether we bring our total self to the experience with gratitude for the opportunity to live another day and make a difference or not.

The amazing and wonderful thing about life is that we have the exclusive choice to use constructive motivation to cause us to feel deeper and accomplish more by recognizing the gift of being here on this planet to learn our lessons. It is totally in our power to choose our mindset and with it the life we choose to live.That is an awesome opportunity!

Have a great few days!

How is Your Flight Control?

An article recently about the rescue of a young peregrine falcon can teach us a great deal about rescue and survival. It seems there were 4 chicks that hatched last month in a nesting box high atop a bank building in a local city. One of these chicks apparently, in his first attempt at flying, hit a window of a local police station. (I can’t imagine the headache he had for awhile). According to local veterinarian the bird was “naive … physically his tail was not real long so his flight control was not the best” basically his flight feathers were not grown out enough to sustain flight. Typically, the flight lessons continue by the parents as they teach the young chicks how to survive and hunt for food.

Many of us were blessed with parents or a supportive individual who taught us how to fly. A person who was with us to help build up our self confidence as we matured into adulthood. Just as the parent falcons, available to guide us and help us learn to fly on our own.

Now as adults we may no longer have the guiding influence of this person. We may find ourselves flailing rather than flying, at times, with false starts, reboots or challenges that seem to wear us down and require the positive support of another. When our flight control just doesn’t seem to be working what can we do? Our friends or family can serve as our ‘veterinarian’ in these times and be nearby to offer comfort until we regain our balance. Sometimes we need to ask them directly and at other times they seem to sense that we need a temporary helping hand and just jump in because they care.

What forces of ‘gravity’ are holding you back on your life flight? What is your plan to deal with them? What goals have you set to help you learn to soar through the strong winds of resistance and turbulent air space we call living to achieve your life goals?

Everyday life presents us with examples after examples that demonstrates that no one has it easy and that life amounts to developing the ability and tenacity to withstanding the challenges or injuries we may incur but to keep on attempting to fly until we have mastered our life lessons. It is easy to become disenchanted or overwhelmed with issues. No one said life was going to be easy, or was for the faint of heart. But regardless of any challenge you face it is worth the effort to keep trying to fly.

Just like the once endangered peregrine species we can find help through a support group or listening ear and use time to heal our own broken wings when we accept the fact that our life flight was not supposed to be easy, calm and without event but planned to be a series of experiences that stretch us, make us downright uncomfortable or unhappy at times yet throughout it all offers more joy than sorrow, more rewards than regrets.

It is important to remember there is always a ‘veterinarian’ in essence ready to give any of us their time by offering physical or mental ‘first aid’ from their kit of human
kindness. All we have to do is to be strong enough to ask.

Have a great few days!

Happiness is an Inside Job!

If you are unhappy in your life what are you choosing to do about it? The operative word, of course, is “choosing.” Our level of happiness cannot be determined by others or we are in for a long, bumpy ride. As Albert Elllis said no one has the power to cause us to feel happy or unhappy unless we give them the right to do so. We can choose to be happier, more productive in life by internalizing a few simple ideas.

The first and most important belief is that we deserve happiness. Yes, even with all of our supposed imperfections we are still entitled to happiness. It is our personal inalienable right and a goal that we work toward achieving throughout our lives.

Our level of happiness can be affected by others. Which people seem to have the greatest influence on your thinking? Look into their lives – are they truly happy? If so great! If not, the sad truth is that nothing you can ever do will change it. They must decide to make the effort to change their thinking and their life. In the meantime, you can become manic trying to help them, attend to their latest life crisis, even attempt to buy their happiness but to no avail. If they lash out in frustration or attempt to bully us into solving their latest life trauma it says more about their own level of frustration and unhappiness than ours. Only they can choose to change their life.

For our own well being, however, it is important to decided the amount of time we are willing to allow ourselves to be surrounded by negative energy. We tell our children that they need to choose their friends carefully but how many of us as adults do the same? You might be thinking … but many of the people who exhibit unhappiness are in my own extended family? Even with family, the same rules apply. You will receive from them only what you are willing to accept. As a family member you might want to jump in and ‘fix’ something for them. Be careful. It is their territory not yours. Assuming what they need and not waiting to be asked for help can result in resentment. The internal message they receive is that you think they are not capable of handling it on their own. That is a demeaning message. Remember, ‘helping’ is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone views the issue or challenge through their own eyes. It requires a delicate balance of knowing when to assist and when to back off that results in greater happiness for all concerned.

Sometimes we need to limit the time we spend with others (including family) when their energy is just too negative to be around. I am convinced that there are a few people on this earth who simply choose to see life as a fight – deciding who are enemies and who are friends. Sadly, these folks believe that anyone who doesn’t see things the same way as they do are just dead wrong. Luckily, I have encountered only a few of these folks in my life but I do know that they can suck the enthusiasm for life right out of you if you let them.

When we draw a line of what is and isn’t acceptable behavior when dealing with others we give ourselves the right to choose happiness. Regardless of how negative or out of control someone may be the bottom line is that they will only give us as much as we are willing to take. Martyrdom should have ended in the dark ages. Respect is earned not only by what we do but how much we are willing to tolerate.

When you give yourself the gift of happiness you are accepting the fact that you are a human being, a child of the Universe who is worthy of consideration, acceptance and respect. The real test then is to muster up the courage with family or friends to refuse to be taken for granted, demeaned or devalued. Of course, equally important is how you communicate this message. Anger simply negates the message. A spoonful of sugar always makes the medicine go down better.

You were created with everything you need to be happy. Once you begin expecting happiness as the natural order of things it is amazing how quickly the Universe responds. Like a magnet positive energy and self confidence draws more of the same from others.

Have a great few days!

Even Rats Have Regret!

U.S. researches have discovered what appears to be “regret” in lab experiments with rats. In “Wired.com” a research team located at the University of Minnesota said they were able to substantiate that the observed behavior was actual regret rather than mere disappointment.

Regret, the recognition that different choices could have resulted in different outcomes can be destructive or instructive. If even rats can demonstrate regret what does that say about regret and the human condition? It seems that the feeling of regret is more prevalent than we once thought. Rather than deny any feelings of remorse we may be experiencing maybe the issue is really the length of time spent in regret and what we take away from the experience that is the discriminating difference between productive and nonproductive behavior?

Some people live their life living in the regrets from their past resulting in a continual cycle of thinking ‘if only I would have done this or said that rather than..’ and as a result seem stuck in the past. Their lives continue to replay scenarios of what could have been. Living in the past stops people from experiencing the joys of today and hopes of tomorrow. They live in “the waiting place” that Dr. Seuss refers to in his book. “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”

On the other hand, other people experience regret but look at it from a perspective of what lesson they have learn from the experience. They live in today and dreams of tomorrow because they feel empowered to make better decisions for their lives because of what they learned from their yesterdays. Doesn’t it seem only natural that we relive moments or events when we were not at our best in an attempt to better control our decision making for the future? As long as we are aware of the amount of time we are spending in that place of review it can be a healthy, instructive thing.

We all have times – especially when we are sick, tired or stressed when mole hills look like mountains. Before responding or making a decisions at this point it is important to realize that we are not functioning at our best and try to avoid saying or doing something that we may regret later.

Let’s assume, however, that we do not heed our own best advice and say or do something that we wish we could undo. Often this happens from feelings of fear or anger. After all, we are simply human and bound to make occasional mistakes along the way. Rather than beat ourselves up over it or attempt to assign blame to others if we simply accept ownership for the error or mistake and offer appropriate apologies as necessary we can turn around something that could have become rather ugly into something meaningful – an “Aha” moment that makes us better, happier people in the long run. Regret in this example can mean that we have lived, learned and are moving on. That’s a good thing!

Our challenge is to learn from the experience and decide to handle the next situation a bit differently. We are all products of the choices we make. Everyday and in every way life has a way of testing us to become our best selves. Life is not for the faint of heart. We have chosen this life experience to become wiser, more thoughtful and productive human beings while we are on this planet. It starts with being brutally honest AND ultimately kind to ourselves and others as we learn our life lessons.

Have a great few days!

Are You Absorbing Negative Energy?

When trying to keep informed of world events or even family happenings it is easy to become weighed down with concern or negative emotions. We must remind ourselves of the saying that cynics do not make a contribution to life, skeptics do not create things and doubters do not make changes that benefit themselves or others. Some people just seem to choose to focus on the negatives in a situation and it can wear us out. When we remind ourselves that we alone have the power to control the type of energy we allow to affect us it rights our mental ship and keeps us on a more even keel.

When we truly listen and observe others a pattern of behavior emerges in everyone and every situation. As we train ourselves to clearly analyze the patterns it causes us to seek more information, process more of the back story and keeps our brain synapses working. The more we listen and search for the meaning of a situation we realize there is always more to it than we have initially assumed. It’s hard to remember that people say and do things for a particular reason. Sometimes it is merely to inform but often it may be to control a situation or manipulate us into thinking a certain way. Think of communication as being in a range that is as simple as a game of Checkers or as complex as a game of Chess. This deeper awareness of not only what is said but what is truly meant by it may not change our attitude or feelings about the person or topic but it can at least help us feel that we are more cognizant of the intentions and not simply pawns in the game of life.

Charles Glassman said in his book, “Brain Drain – The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life,” “Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” When we feel negative energy around us it is our choice to become absorbed by it or choose to physically or mentally escape with grace. The discomfort we feel when surrounded with negatives is a signal – like a flashing yellow light – that tells us to slow down and think, process more fully and then decide with a deeper sense of our own truth before allowing ourselves to become absorbed in it. The choice is always up to us. The challenge – yet good news – is that no one can do it for us. We are capable of accepting or rejecting any negative that comes our way.

When we take in information from our environment it effects our mindset one way or the other. We have no one to blame if we allow ourselves to become ill affected by the negative energy of others. We have the gift of free will and the power to decide what we are willing to accept – what works best for us. We get back from this world exactly the type of energy we put out into it – no more or no less.

The next time we are confronted with a negative issue maybe we can take a moment and look for the underlying motivation, reason or purpose and then decide how to respond – from a more deliberate perspective.

Have a great few days!

The Magic of Compassion

In our harried, hectic lifestyles could it be that we have forgotten about the importance of compassion? The term itself denotes empathy – putting ourselves in another’s shoes. When we are moving as fast as humanly possible it is easy to forget to smile, listen attentively to another or possibly do something for another that will brighten their day. Even a short email passing on a good thought can be important. What does that take – one or two minutes? I’ll bet we could find that in even the busiest of our days. There is a saying that summarizes it best, ‘People don’t care how much you know (or do) until they know how much you care.’

Beyond the apparent benefit of practicing compassion to others it actually helps us as well. Studies have shown that when we demonstrate compassion our bodies produce 100% DHEA a hormone that counteracts the aging process and reduces by 23% the cortisol which is the stress hormone in our bodies. Regardless of the exact percentages the bottom line is that demonstrating compassion is good for our physical and emotional health.

The pace of which we live has never been faster and I am not suggesting that we add more to it. However, compassion is a matter of mindset not time. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the differences in others, that’s like hitting an ‘easy button’ in our mind. Training ourselves, however, to look past the differences in search of the commonalities is simply a behavioral approach that with practice we can get really good at doing. Eventually, we find that we recognize the common human need for acceptance, patience and even a listening ear as truly an important part of living. When we arrive at this place we then begin to enjoy life a bit more as we open up our ‘acceptance portals’ in our minds.

Slowly, but surely, we begin to smile more than frown and search for the positives rather than negatives in a situation or in other people. We exhale more deeply when we realize that we have arrived at a place of peace in our lives – a great place to be!

Leo Buscaglia, the noted psychologist once said, “Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Wouldn’t it be phenomenal if each of us decided to practice a little more compassion for a fellow traveler of the Universe – even starting with once a day? Imagine how we could actually change the world around us if we chose to demonstrate a little more positive regard for others.

Wouldn’t be wonderful to hear someone say that we made life a little better just be being in it? Something worth considering don’t you think?

Have a great few days!

Lessons from Leonardo DaVinci

The famous artist, Leonardo DaVinci, lived by five principles according to author Michael Gelb in his book, “How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci.” These principles are well worth our consideration.

Curiosity – If we question things to seek additional information and to discover the deeper ‘why’ behind the idea or situation we are attempting to create a richer context, purpose and understanding in the moment. Knowing the ‘why’ helps us make connections in our brains by creating new synapses. Basically, knowing the ‘why’ makes us smarter.

Risk Taking – when we force ourselves out of our comfort zones we expand our awareness of life. By doing so we develop greater self confidence. We experience new things and become more interesting to ourselves and others. Is it easy … no but is it necessary… absolutely!

A Deeper development of our five senses happens when we bring our total attention to a circumstance. Feeling, seeing, hearing, tasting and touching are senses that can be taken for granted on a superficial level or experienced at a much more significant level when we bring our total attention to the situation. We are able to connect with our subconscious memory and experience the full effect of the experience when we are fully present in the moment.

Chaos – predictability can be reassuring but it can also become boring. The ability to handle ambiguity tolerance allows us to ‘allow’ life to happen. It deepens our life experience. The best teachers have this critical skill. They move with the tide and do not try to force the water to remain still. Life gives us hundreds of opportunities to develop our skills of listening, waiting, observing before we decide on a particular plan to move forward. We simply need to learn to allow and relax in the knowing that all will work out as it is suppose to in life.

A mind-body balance. Life is all about learning balance. Too much of a good thing is simply that ….too much. It takes discipline to learn a personal balance in everything we do but it is possible when we realize that, ‘if it is going to be it is up to me.’ Choices can be a gift or a burden it simply depends on our attitude.

Like a kindred spirit, Leonardo DaVinci also believed that everything happens for a reason. Adopting this belief helps us to accept life and stop using the blame game on ourselves or others. It helps us live fuller, richer lives and we become fearless when thinking about the future. We know that we will survive and learn the lessons we have chosen to learn. We are personally responsible for the challenges, the lessons and the learning involved.

Living with these principles can cause us to begin seeing with the minds eye of the artist. We can become more happy, healthy and fully functioning human beings when we apply what this master has set out before us. We can sketch our canvas anyway we choose because it is simply, magnificently all up to us and “All is as it should be.”

Have a great few days!

Personal Reflection is Powerful!

Personal reflection is a good thing to do once in a while. Often we are so busy doing we forget to stop, inhale deeply and think about what we have lived through and accomplished. Give yourself a few minutes to think about your life over the past five years. What are the major things, the good, the bad and the ugly that you experienced? We usually don’t see events coming and when the great ones happen we are surprised, relieved and grateful. When the really tough ones hit us they can bring us to our knees. Yet through it all consider this, you are still alive to tell the tale! That’s an indicator of just how strong you really are inside.

We all have moments of self doubt and worry – it’s what makes us human. But you might want to consider the approach of a quick review of what you have lived through and learned from the next time you are feeling stressed, worried or unsure if you can handle another challenge in your life. Your track record serves as a powerful reminder. It is the concrete evidence that proves you are capable of anything because you have made it to this point in your life and learned from the events. You have shown balance in your purpose and determination in you achievements. You are a strong person and no one can ever take that away from you.

You might be thinking… but what about tomorrow or next week… I have this thing coming up and I’m unsure if I can do it. Actually, a little nervousness is usually a good thing. It causes us to bring our ‘A’ game into play. When we are concerned we often over plan or over prepare and in so doing we go the extra mile and discover that there is very little traffic there to contend with at that point. Susan Taylor said, “our greatest problems in life come not so much from the situations we confront as from our doubts about our ability to handle them.”

By taking a moment to reflect upon the life challenges you have lived through up to this point in your life it will give you the courage and belief to know that you will be able to handle whatever surfaces next because you have demonstrated strength and tenacity in the past. You don’t always have to like a challenging event that surfaces but you needn’t be cowered by it either. By taking stock of what you have lived through you now know deep down that you can overcome anything once you set your mind to it. That’s a powerful feeling that you have justly earned.

Above all, look at the people who love you, respect you and need you from time to time. They are messengers from the Universe sent to tell you that you are important to them and perfect just the way you are … A beautiful spirit of the Universe who is on a mission to make the world a little better place.

Have a great few days!

Graduation Brings New Challenges!

During the next two weeks thousands of seniors will be graduating from high school. Some have been planning their next steps for some time, some for only a couple of months and some not at all. The fact that this stage in their life is ending can cause sadness, nostalgia and even fear – especially for those who are not immediately moving on. It can feel like a void has developed in their lives.

As a culture we have come to expect that college or training after high school is essential – and it is – if the student is ready but that’s a big IF. It takes emotional readiness to move on and if pushed too quickly the student can fail or drop out because they were not mature enough to handle it. That image of failure can last a life time in their memory. Typically, students who have a pattern of seeking immediate gratification need longer to grow up. Just as young children learn to walk at different times – some at 10, 12 or 14 months and it’s okay at the same time we realize that we can’t simply hold them on our hips throughout life but must allow them to fall, pick themselves up and to persistently keep trying to achieve success. Well, the same goes for maturity. It doesn’t just happen but can be helped along the way by the attitude of a parent or loved one.

As parents or family members we don’t want to see them flounder and want to ‘fix it’ for them. We naturally want to take away their angst about the tomorrows in their lives. This is when it takes all of our courage not to rush in and attempt to ‘make it all better’ as we did when they were young. Life is not about constantly fixing things for our children but encouraging them to face reality and in this case that reality may be that they need a little longer to grow up. It is about loving them enough to take the time to talk with them until they get it. Don’t expect the first, second or even tenth times to be enough. Remember they are a bit immature and with immaturity comes lack of focus.

If they haven’t been planners in the past and were more into immediate gratification the only way for them to understand the critical need to develop and work a plan in their life now is to let them experience what it feels like not to have one. This is where tough love comes in. We must allow them to face the reality of not getting something they think they want especially if we know they are not mature enough to handle it. Moving on after high school takes physical, mental and emotional maturity which develops over time not over night.Those things are not something that can be bought, given or sold. It must come from the depths of the student who is so disappointed, maybe even a bit angry enough to do something about it. In goal setting it is said that we must become sick and tired and reach our depth of dissatisfaction before we decide to make a change happen in our lives.

Growing older is not an option but growing up and maturing is – it takes conscious effort to learn to delay gratification. Developing maturity usually starts by working at things that we don’t love or even like. But as we have to work at them we become more determined to change our path and develop short and long term plans to change our circumstance. Becoming a productive, responsible person is not simply about getting what we want it is about working through the things we don’t want or like to achieve our goals. That takes maturity and it only starts when we experience what we don’t want and force ourselves to face it head on. Jobs that simply sound like fun are therefore not the answer unless you want to see them permanently searching for the fun in life rather than the productive element of achievement that will cause them to feel more self confident and become happier people ultimately. Looking for a job because it just sounds like fun simply delays the process of maturing – sometimes permanently.

Watching a graduating senior flounder a bit can be the hardest thing we do but if we love them enough to stand firm and expect them to get a full time job in the meantime it can make all the difference in their lives. As a responsible, loving parent it is our job to get our kids to face the reality of their own situations not with excuses but with the truth. If not us – who, if not now – when? We all pay the piper in life it’s a matter of when and how. When these students don’t have their immediate gratification realized they can choose to make the best of the situation by becoming productive in what ever job they are doing, that’s step one in becoming a successful, independent and happy human being. Life we know is a great balancing act. It takes concentration, determination and work. No one can do it for us. We each have our own unique lessons to learn.

Have a great few days!