Official blog for the book "Just Behind the Door"

Posts tagged ‘near death experiences’

Gratitude, Courage and Love

Everyone’s life involves opportunities, challenges and times that may cause them to wonder if they can make it through another day. In our own insular world we often forget that everyone we see is working on their own unique life script exactly as they had written it. For some, their lives seem to appear so difficult that it can take the breath away from a casual observer. You wonder how it the world they can do it. Yet I notice something in common from folks that have had to work hard for what they have in life or deal with exceptional challenges. They seem to have developed a higher sense of appreciation for even the smallest things. They can teach us much about gratitude, courage and love.

Recently, I have had the chance to hear from two different families that have experienced immense challenges. Yet both families look at the events and challenges they have experienced with gratitude. They have trained themselves to see the gift not the burden. If you listen to them talk they reflect not on the challenges but more on the funny, loving memories that they have acquired along the way.

Walking in another person’s shoes is impossible. But taking the time to remember that everyone is doing the best they can as they live through their own unique story is possible. It enables us to remember to be a little more patient, a little quicker to offer a smile, a helping hand or a thank you for even the smallest gesture. Who knows, we might give them just the recognition or help they need to face tomorrow. Now that is powerful!

When it is said, the greatest things in life are free, it’s true. It doesn’t cost a thing to recognize the efforts of someone or to help them along the way but it can make a huge difference in their lives. It’s a quick, sure fire way to send out to the Universe a ‘ happy gram’ of positive energy. The amazing thing is that without intending it to happen more positive energy comes back to you. It’s truly a win-win in life, a ‘pay it forward’ type of experience. That is what love is all about.

Have a great few days!

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Greater Happiness

Every day we live on this earth plane gives us the potential to achieve greater happiness. No matter what our conditions are at the moment our attitude determines our altitude. It really is an inside job! If you reflect on today, what did you see, do, or say that brought greater happiness into your life or the life of another person?

Sometimes, a short period of reflection gives us the opportunity to think about a ‘do over.’ Maybe we were a bit too abrupt when responding to someone or a tad judgmental regarding someone’s situation. In retrospect, we realize that since we don’t walk in their shoes we really can’t completely relate to or understand their issue. The best we can offer is empathy. A listening ear as they process through the latest challenge in their lives. Showing concern for others is an elixir for our own happiness as well.

Think about someone you know that just seems to be happy most of the time. What do they know that you don’t know? My guess is that they realize they are responsible for their own happiness and success and that it comes from being true to themselves. They let their heart rather than ego lead them. These folks take things in stride and accept the fact that challenges happen to everyone. Yet they choose to see past the current issue and have faith that it will be resolved over time. Their mental energy is spent doing, creating, and believing. Fear, anger or regret are not things they choose to accept in their lives.

What can you do tomorrow to empower yourself to achieve a happier, more successful life? Have you thought about a goal that you want to achieve? The Universe will deliver to you what is foremost in your thinking. There really is power in the practice of positive thinking. Your free will is just waiting to kick in to manifest your affirmations and desires. You just need to turn on your mental switch that says, ‘I can.’

Have a great few days!

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Communicate Through Love

Messages come in many different forms and sources. In my book, Just Behind the Door, I share the messages that I have received for over a decade from my son, mother and sister on the other side. Have you ever experienced this type of communication? If you haven’t, I can tell you that it brings a peace – a knowing – to your life like none other. Gone are the questions and angst of ‘what could I have done to prevent this from having happened.’ Explaining this to someone who hasn’t experienced it is difficult, maybe even impossible, but worth the try. After all, we are here to make ourselves and our world a little better.To me that means helping others move through the stages of grief and bewilderment and into a deeper knowing that, as hard as it is to accept, the Universe doesn’t make mistakes. All is as it should be.

I have found it takes two things to be able to receive messages from our loved ones. Trust in something bigger than ourselves and letting go of the need to control. When you think about it the issues of trust and control are really different sides of the same coin. R. Bach described the ability to trust beautifully.

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed,
It feels an impulse…this is the place to go now.
But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds,
And you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.

If you have lost a loved one and are aching to reconnect, I would suggest that you begin meditating – even 15 minutes a day – to get yourself into the higher vibrational energy of the Universe. Think of it this way, being in a physical body we are weighed down and our signal is weaker- similar to an AM radio frequency. Our loved ones, in spiritual form, are now on an FM frequency. To hear their messages we need to be on the same frequency. It’s up to us to learn how to focus more deeply through meditation to open the channels of communication.

There are also many gifted mediums who can help make the connections for us. I mentioned a special person in my book. She is available if you are ready. Just email me at maryleiker1@mac.com and I will give you her contact information. Your life will never be the same.

My son told me the reason I was supposed to write this book was to let people know that after the physical death the spiritual connection continues because of the unconditional love we have for each other. There is no question in my mind that their energy is around us and we can receive messages from them. They want us to be happy and at peace knowing that they fulfilled their life’s purpose.

Have a great few days!

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Diagonally Parked

Do you ever feel like you are diagonally parked in a parallel universe? You know, the feeling that you just don’t quite fit neatly in a package like other people seem to do? The image I get is like trying to fit a gift in a box so you can wrap it in beautiful wrapping paper and some pieces and parts just won’t quite stay put. I think many of us have these feelings from time to time. I know of only one person that I have met in my entire life that hasn’t appeared to feel that way. I have always thought of her as an angel on earth. Her gratitude and happiness for just being alive is a gift that just keeps on giving to all of us who are around her. For the rest of us, however, it just feels, at times, like something is missing or lacking in our lives. We just don’t feel like we totally fit. We have heard the statement before, ‘ is that all there is’ when referring to our life on this earth plane.Could we be searching for a higher purpose and deeper understanding for our lives?

Recently, I finished two books on NDE’s (near death experiences). Both were written by medical doctors – one an orthopedic surgeon and the other by a
neurosurgeon. Both had experiences – one drown – and the other contracted gram-negative E. coli bacterial meningitis and was in a coma for 7 days. All medical personnel involved in their cases said they would never survive and if they did would be in a vegetative state. Yet, they not only survived but thrived and committed themselves to sharing with us what they saw on the other side.

When we read about their life experiences, it is gripping, a bit overwhelming but, most importantly, reassuring that we are more than the sum of our individual physical parts. We were made in love, for love and about love. I’m talking here about the unconditional type of love that says I am valued, loved and purposeful because I AM? You know the type of love I am talking about, it can be seen in the eyes of a mother who looks at her child. We realize from this perspective of love that there is a purpose for our life that is bigger than ourselves, bigger, in fact, than we can ever imagine. When we read accounts of people who have been given the chance to see the other side we realize that there truly is a reason for all things that happen to us and that nothing happens by mere accident. The Universal Energy/God simply doesn’t make mistakes. When we finally get it, we can breath deeply and live in the belief, the knowing that, ‘All is as it should be.’

The two doctors who wrote these books have demonstrated such courage. They have willingly faced their own medical community knowing that this type of sharing would be discounted by many, if not all, of their colleagues. They were willing to risk their reputation, friends even income to share their life altering experiences. They felt compelled to write their stories in order to help all of us realize the importance of unconditional love and the significance of the life source from which we originate. I thank them for their efforts. It will help many realize that they are not diagonally parked in a parallel universe but are simply seeking a higher truth for their lives and deeper knowing that we are all connected.

For those of you who would like to read these remarkable stories, the titles are To Heaven and Back by Mary C. Neal, MD and Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, MD.

Have a great few days!

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Unlocking Your Potential

To learn to live in unconditional love is the reason we are experiencing life in this incarnation. To achieve this type of love we need to be able to truly accept, understand and appreciate ourselves and others. When you think about it, that’s a tall order. It means not only being totally comfortable in our own skin but to allow others to be comfortable in theirs as well. How is this possible to achieve? When we accept that we all have more in common than we may first think, it opens up our thinking.

1. We are all motivated by acceptance and love
2. We all experience fear from time to time.
3. We have all chosen this lifetime to live through our unique life challenges.
4. Most importantly, we share the same source of our existence.

When we accept these commonalities, it allows us to see ourselves and others through different lenses. It may take an entire lifetime to realize that learning to love yourself and others in a nonjudgmental way is the most important thing we can do. That’s okay. It is a huge lesson.

What opinions do you have about your life experiences to date? We have all lived through tough times and life altering experiences, many in fact, that took our breath away with the pain. Trust me on this one, no one goes through life unscathed.

The question is can we regroup and as the lyrics of the song go, ‘pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.’ Or are we in the blame game, angry that life happened to us when we weren’t expecting it. Anger, blame and fear are debilitating and the direct opposite of unconditional love.

Challenge yourself to examine a life altering experience that appeared so unfair to find the lesson in it. It will necessitate that you stop thinking about the ‘what if’ or ‘why me’ and analyze it from the perspective of what was the most difficult thing to accept from it. There is the lesson, staring you right in the face. Every experience offers us a chance to grow from it as we embrace ourselves and others with unconditional love and faith in tomorrow.

Everything happens for a reason – a purpose. If you find yourself in a negative mindset at first, thinking ‘why me’ just give yourself a little time for the rawness of the hurt to pass. You are a spiritual being, true, but you have both the gift and burden of living this spirituality in a human form with human emotions. Just don’t let yourself get stuck. Talk to a friend, family member or counselor to help yourself regain your footing. Think to yourself, ‘I know there was a purpose for … and I will seek to understand and learn from it.

Unconditional love is the way to unlock our true potential. After all, our thoughts truly are our keys to life. Positive thoughts open doors and negative thoughts close them. We are each on our own individual path to knowing a higher truth and embracing unconditional love. When we believe this, it lets us take a deep breath and ‘allow’ the experiences to help us become better human beings. We then remember with gratitude “All is as it should be.”

Have a great few days!

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You are Important to Me!

I suggested on my last blog that you take the time to list five things about yourself that are unique, that make you special. We all have these attributes and they are not limited to five but I just wanted to get you thinking about the positives that you possess.

Imagine my surprise when I heard from some of you that this task was not only difficult, but in a couple cases, impossible to do. First, let me say that I applaud your honesty. Sharing this and being honest with your feelings is the first step to seeing a better tomorrow and discovering your special qualities.

Let’s think about this issue of attributes in greater depth. You have been created by God/Universal Energy for a purpose. You were NOT an accident. You participated in the planning of your life through your prebirth agreement with the Universe. Yes, as hard as it is to believe, you were a part of planning what you are experiencing right now. Remember the scientific principal, energy can neither be created nor destroyed only changed in form. Your energy has been around for lifetimes and planning experiences to learn lessons. This may seem hard to grasp, at first, and that’s okay, just stay with me on this one.

You choose this time to incarnate for a reason, a purpose. I have found that our purpose often involves learning to love ourselves and being able to see the good or at least the purpose in every situations, even a loss. If you have lost someone through death, divorce or separation you may be stuck in the ‘why’ and not able to dig out of the hole you feel you are in, I understand, I have been there. Please go back to the archives on my website where I talk about the stages of loss and change. They are real. We all experience them in our own unique time frame.

Others are in our lives for their own reason and purpose. Sometimes when their purpose is finished they move on. We don’t have to like it and may desperately struggle to understand or accept the loss to no avail. But sooner or later we come to the conclusion that sometimes things are just beyond our human capacity to understand and certainly to control.

If you are stuck and really can’t list your attributes ask someone you trust, maybe a friend or family member, what they think about it. Sometimes it takes someone from the outside, maybe even a good counselor to help peel away the layers that are holding you back from moving on and experiencing all the happiness and joy you are intended to experience in this lifetime.

Doing nothing about the situation is NOT an option. The strong among us accept when we need help and are not afraid to seek it. In fact, the strongest among us demand that someone hear us. We know that is a critical step to healing. Please make a commitment to seek the support that will allow you to refuse to stay stuck in the stages of loss and grief any longer.

You are too valuable to this earth and to the many people in your life to freeze frame your life in the ‘what used to be.’ Again, I speak from experience. You are reading this blog for a reason and it may be to learn self love. You really can’t love others fully or contribute the gifts you have to this life until you learn that number one lesson. Love is the Alpha and Omega of the Universe, the beginning and end and it starts with you!

Have a great few days and feel free to email me at maryleiker1@mac.com if you want to discuss these thoughts further. I am here for you.

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Success Is Change!

Success in our lives can be defined by asking three questions. What is truly important to us – what makes our blood pump a little faster? What do we find most difficult to handle (the things that make us anxious or our stomachs churn)? And what do we hold sacred in our hearts – the most important things without which we would not want to be here? These are big questions to think about and even bigger to answer. The closer you can get to the truth of who you really are and what you want your life to stand for the closer you are to achieving your own true success. That is all the Universe asks of us, to be true to ourselves and our prebirth agreement.

As we start the new year, I have found it helpful to reflect on these questions and honestly determine accomplishments, lessons learned and even more importantly, lessons yet to be learned. Doing so is both exciting and humbling. It seems like there is never a shortage of lessons. Ultimately, it all boils down to working on the personal challenges involved in accepting the changes we are faced with in life.

When we look at the challenge of the ultimate change in our life involving loss, there was something we needed to learn from it. As hard as the loss was it enabled us to learn important lessons. It may seem impossible, at first, to reach a deeper understanding. It is there, I promise you, just be brave and continue to search. What do you now place greater value on since experiencing the loss?

Loss comes in many forms. A death, of course, is the biggest challenge, the real show stopper. However, any change we experience in life brings, at first, a feeling of loss. My last blog was on the steps we go through when we experience change and loss. You might want to go back to the archive section on this website and review those steps, maybe even print them.

As part of the human race we are much more alike than different in our human emotions. We all experience insecurity, denial, anger, fear, acceptance and love. That’s why these steps are so predictable, the length of time we spend in each step is the human variable. We can find reassurance in knowing the emotions we experience are normal. When we are immersed in tears, we are not ‘losing it,’ but expressing our honest feelings involved in the loss – the change in our lives. Since nothing remains the same for long, being aware of these steps and being able to emotionally apply them gives us greater confidence and security in facing tomorrow.

Soul searching is not for the faint of heart but as Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “The truth will set you free.” It is good to take stock of what you have accomplished this year and what you still find most difficult to handle, what gives you pause. Once you decide to work on those feelings and situations you will be able to master them. Mastery brings a feeling of greater confidence and peace. Next year when you take stock of your life you will smile and think to yourself, ‘worked on that one and getter better every day!’

Have a great few days!

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Tragic Events

When unforeseen and tragic events happen such as Hurricane Sandy we wonder why. People have lost their lives, their homes and belongings and some are struggling just to find drinking water. The feelings of helplessness and fear affect all of us. These natural disasters are humbling. We realize how tenuous life is in general. As we strive to accept and make sense of everything, the belief surfaces that we are spiritual beings in a physical body and our bodies do have an expiration date.

We know, of course, that there really is a thing called climate change. In all areas of the country we are seeing an intensification of the normal weather conditions. The scientific evidence is apparent. Yet, we still wonder why and think,to ourselves, how could this have happened?

As I watched the 12 plus feet of water rushing into areas of New Jersey and New York, I just kept thinking that there are so many things beyond our control, beyond our knowing. It helps to control anxiety and fear when we accept the thought that there is something bigger than ourselves in the Universe. It is important for us to remember that nothing happens by accident. All is as it should be. Following this reasoning the question then surfaces, what lessons are we supposed to learn from these life altering situations?

Our survival depends upon our willingness to be good stewards of the earth on which we live. Global warming is caused by many things. We are a part, a contributor, to the warming that is causing the extreme climate changes. The good news is that each of us, in our own way, can do something to improve the environment. We just need to make a commitment to do so.

Another huge lesson I see surfacing is a reminder that as Americans we are survivors. We can put aside our differences and come together for a cause greater than ourselves. We are tough, resilient folks who are willing to lend a hand in times of trouble. In the challenges of Hurricane Sandy, we have seen our federal and state governments working together within a matter of hours. The politics of the presidential election have been put aside, as it should be, for a bigger purpose. It has been impressive to see how fast the various agencies have joined hands to assist so many people. This tragedy cannot be undone but the question remains, will we internalize the lessons from it?

We can help the people on the east coast in various ways. One possibility is to send in a donation – even five dollars – to the Red Cross or some other reputable organizations. Every dollar will help to ease the pain of our fellow Americans.

As we watch the devastation unfold before our eyes we can’t help but offer a little prayer for those people whose lives have been changed forever. For those that lost a loved one everything changes. They will be experiencing the stages of loss on so many different levels. May they have the strength and resiliency to rebuild and face tomorrow.

We will help, we will survive because we are Americans!

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Synchronicity and ADC Conference

The last two days have been remarkable. I attended an International Conference on After Death Communication in Phoenix. This was a world class conference that, by pure synchronicity, I heard about only two weeks before in a ten week class that was coming to closure. A requirement of the class I was taking was to present a final product. My friend, taking the class with me, suggested I present my book since it would be published within a few weeks and included the principles learned from the class.

The weekend conference included speakers from the medical profession, including practicing cardiologists, other medical doctors, neuroscientists, parents who had lost children, authors, healers and counselors. People from as far away as Australia, Canada,The Netherlands and England as well as Hawaii, California, New England, and many other states had traveled to attend. Here I was living only 15 miles away from the conference location! I was in awe with the sessions and the many people I talked to during the weekend. The thought kept coming to me, I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time, to hear about this conference and be able to register in time. What were the chances?

What exactly is that force that causes you to be in just the right place and time? Synchronicity. Carl Jung explained it as an experience of two or more events that are apparently unrelated and unlikely to occur together by chance, but actually do occur, together, in a meaningful way. God/The Universal Energy was working its magic for me, yet again in my life. A very simple way to understand the idea of synchronicity is to think of a time when you were thinking about someone and the phone rang and it was that person. Or, you may have been thinking about a person and then received an email or actual card (a rarity in our fast paced world) from them.

The first speakers, Robert Charles Hunter, a retired CEO from PepsiCo Food Systems, who is married to the actress Diane Ladd, talked about his book Curious Journey, The Energy of the New Age. Diane talked about her life in movies and theatre as actress, writer, director, producer and her book, Spiraling Through the School of Life. (She is also the mother of Laura Dern, the popular actress of stage and screen who was in the immensely popular movie Jurassic Park among many others.

They both talked about the topic of synchronicity. They reiterated a belief I share, which is, that there are no coincidences in life. Things happen for a reason – a purpose that we may not understand at the moment but will in time.

For those of you who are dealing with a loss – any type of loss. Just think about that point for a couple of days. Things really do happen for a reason. We don’t have to like it, we can even rail against it, but there was a reason it happened – whatever it was in your life –
that caused you to stop and reassess your life’s journey. The event may have been small or huge – even life changing for you. Just think about the possible reasons it may have happened. Don’t hurry your thinking. Let the idea mull around in your mind for a few days. I will come back to the topic in my next blog on Wednesday. In the meantime, see what you can come up – it is worth the mental effort!

Have a great few days!

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